having sex with my ex who has a fiance,should i stop???

[steph1974]

hi,i'm steph,split up with my sons father when i was 8weeks pregnant cos he was nasty to my daughter(from another relationship),but i still am having sex with him 2years down the line and he has a fiance,my family tell me to stop?but we only split up cos we didnt get on not cos we stopped fancying eachother so we have been carrying on but he is living with someone else yet doesnt seem to mind cheating on her,does anyone else think i should stop???

havent got the other womans number and he makes sure we dont every cross paths...

x posts HMB

very good idea Fio2

if you don't want to have sex and he forces you, it's called rape

if you don't want to have sex for "guilt" reasons, but change your mind, it's about self control

i don't know why you are posting here - if you don't want to have sex, then DONT DO IT

So what do you want, steph?

he lives with this girl and you dont have their home hpone number???
ASK FOR IT NOW

Earlier on you said

'am using him for sex just as he is using me'

Now you seem to be saying that you don't want to have sex with him
when you say

'i dont want him to but i only dont want him to cos i think its wrong and not because i dont actually wanna have sex with him and he knows that, not that that makes a difference'

Now one of two things is happening.

Either you are coming to terms with the fact that this man is raping you, in which case you neec specialist help. We can be supportive but you need more help and protection than we can give you.

Or you are yanking our collective chains

hallyberrymerries,can you not read between the lines,its not a question of do i or dont i,its more complicated than that and if all you can do is snipe at me then i dont want your advice,everyone elses i am taking on board but you are being damn right rude...

he sounds a nightmare, surely you/your daughter deserve better than this

when he calls on a sat make sure you have someone with you, he can't force you then. Your son does not need a father like this, Would you like your son to grow up like this? Or go and meet him in a public place.
Dont let him do this to you.

So it's not exactly no-strings then, is it??

FFS. With the best will in the world steph, you need to get a grip. Rither you want to shag this bloke in this unpleasant and depressing scenario, or you don't. You need to decide. It sounds bloody miserable to me.

(and your son, sorry had lost track of number of children)

everyone is taking bits of what i am saying out of context,i still like him i still want sex with him but i dont cos its not right....so when he tries i dont want him 2 but there is another part of me that loves him and wants him,surely someone must get that,have none of u ever been in my position,come on....

No' i'm not being rude. I am worried that you don't seem to undersatnd what sort of relationship you are in or want.

You have now implied that you are being dorced into having sex. This is rape. I'm not being unsuportive when I say that you need far more help that a group of well meaning strangers can give you. You need the protection of the law and some serious councelling to help you. This isn't being rude or uncaring it is being utterly practical.

In the space of this thread you ghave gone from implying that the relationship was a equal one where both of you were using each other for sex to saying that it is not what you want.

I honesly think that you need to talk to someone in RL

steph lots of us weave tangled webs doesnt mean it is right or wrong, just that it is life

hallyberrymerries,i want to have sex cos i love him and everyone needs sex but in the same instance i dont want to cos i know its wrong,u must get me,

well are you happy being 'the other woman"? If the answer is no, learn to say NO

How can you love him if he is nasty to your dd? How can you love him if he ditched you? How can you love him if you said you didn't get on with him? How can yu love a man who seems to have zero respect for you and any other woamn?

I honestly don't get it?

Find someone that loves you and respects you and that you can love and respect in return. In the short term, use the vibrator and promice yourself better things!

Is this honesly the relationship that you want? A quick shag every now and then? You are worth more than this. Everyone is!

I dont like vibrators, i can see why she would prefer sex. Not that that has anything to do with this discussion

cos u cant help who u fall in love with...

i am not interested in a relationship after what i have been through lately...

Very true steph, but unfortunately you're in love with someone who clearly doesn't give a toss about you.

well steph sorry to be blunt but if you dont to change then this is what your life will be like for a whil;e until you do

Steph
How can you posibly love a man who treats you like this? Does he love you? Love is based on mutual respect. I have to agree with others that you are contradicting yourself whether you mean to or not. There is no comparison between "love" and "using" someone. It all sounds very unclear, just my opinion.

i know he doesnt give a toss about me,but still u cant help who u fall in love with and i have tried my hardest to hate him but it aint happenin,well no actually i do hate him at the same time,anyway thanks for the advice everyone but gotta go the shop to get my son some baby dinners so thanks again...