Think I may have put him off by making it sound like hard work

[wintercitylover]

Very basic internet dating issue.

Been chatting to guy online (he is single but 40ish) he asked to meet so fine I said ok when and where? He came back with a day.

I realise (due to my limited availability) that I prob should have suggested a day and time etc

Cos I then replied backsaying not easy to meet in the weekday evenings because would have to get babysitter, could do lunchtimes in the week, or every other sat. Blah Blah Bit like in those 80s films when people said I will find you a window!!

Finishing up with a jokey bit about well if that hasn't put you off

Thing is it prob has hasn't it? he's read the mail thought omg how complicated and run for the hills (as we on mumsnet like to say).

Shame cos it was instant attraction on my part. Suppose if he is really interested it wouldn't put him off.

Anyway he's not he only iron I have in the fire (lol) and I have similar probs with the other trying to meet up. It's not that easy.

oh bloody hell another internet dating issue!!
i take it that you've heard nothing back?
tbh i don't know!
quite possibly he does think that you're hard work if he isn't in the same single parent with responsibilities boat
but if he takes that view what would he be like if you were to actually meet?
i would take the it's his loss line personally
and hey you still have that other iron in the fire

I could be projecting the feeling of hard work onto him. I feel like it's hard work trying to get some free time, quite honestly.

I'll obviously give him a bit more time. He could just be checking his diary

I don't think there was any need for me lay out my entire availability in the return email IYKWIM - I could have just said 'no can't do xx how about xx.

Ah well - que sera - the other iron has a teenage son so has a bit more understanding.

Well if he is running for the hills then he is probably not worth it in the first place imo

IME most men are quite understanding about childcare commitments, if they are not then you are going to run into problems along the line anyway.

When you say instant attraction for you, have you seen him on a webcam? because ime people tend to look very different in rl, from the pictures they usually put up on dating sites, so just be wary

er think that WCL told us about her own webcam horror
but if you have an amusing tales VT
would love to hear
as in need of a chuckle...!!

God you have got a good memory sbm

VT can retell if you would like - it seems hilarious now but at the time it was not funny - said person still has fake photo on his website.

Also VT met one guy in RL who looked alot worse than his photo.

Subject of original post might just be taking his time to reply we'll see. I sometimes do the same.

WCL yes please re-tell for me

SBM one of my dating stories for you here

I have had lots of funny ones

Just read that thread it's hilarious!

OK went on MSN a while back chatting to a guy whose pic on site was great - didn't look obviously fake. he wanted to go on webcam to chat wasn't that keen but when he came on looked nothing like the pic. I mean how stupid is that? Didn't say a word tried to keep a neutral face carried on chatting for a while. Think I was in shock.

Few days later went out for Christmas party had a few glasses, came home and went on MSN he's on there again - start chatting - this time challenged him about it - he didn't know why - said he would remove his pic from site and put up one of him. I have not had any contact with him since.

Would not use webcam again unless it was with someone I already knew.

PS referring to that thread the 'love of my life' (long story and it's not my exH) - always wears dodgy jackets but agree with the other posters that if you are really attracted to them things like that won't put you off them.

Webcams are good though, because at least you found out what he looked like before you actually went on a date, imagine how you would have felt if you had meet him in rl?

It has happened to me, i got wise to it and used to get my friend ring me 30 mins into the date, if they were mingers/didnt look like picture i would make excuses about said friend being in trouble and leave

VT LMAO!!
god you have so cheered me up
as having a crap day
and yes anymore..?!!
keep them coming lol!
WCL i do remember as PMSL at that too
oh the joys of internet dating
i just laugh my way thru it now
think its the only way
but yes photos etc
have a few funny stories too
but fortunately didnt meet the men involved THANK GOD!!

so what happened with the crusty shoe man VT did you let him down gently?

I didnt say on that thread (mainly because i thought tmmj would kill me ) but on the last date i went on with him, the one where his car smelled like a wheelie bin

I went back to his place, his house was worse than i remembered and i got this sudden urge to leave, but was to coward to say, so when he went the loo, i sneeked out the side door, jumped in my car and drove off, without even saying goodbye

He texted me 5 mins later and i didnt reply, that the the end of that, not proud of it though

I also went on a date in the summer with a guy who after we sat down for lunch said when asked that he had left the home he shared with previous partner (it was his house) because she provoked him and he was worried he would become a wife beater!!!

Aaagh. This was after several telephone conversations and emails etc etc.

oh had to take another look!!
oh VT!!
you have really put a smile on....thank you!!
don't really know if i could divulge one of mine as some might see it as a bit black..
but a male friend of mine has suggested that me and some of my RL girly friends have a night online winding some of these internet idiots up....hmm!

update - he emailed me last night via the website and we have exchanged mobile nos with a view to meeting for a drink soon.

I am such an impatient person!!! It's been my downfall many a time.

He and the exisiting 'interest' both have the same name (quite an unusual one at that) so have to ensure I don't get them muddled up. LOL

Great. Do let us know how the date goes wont you?

LMAO!!
what a bloody nightmare wcl lol!

VinegarTits! did you really?! he's prob still wondering! lol
asbm I think you should tell all ....
wcl good luck, at least with the same name it won't matter if you get them muddled, will it?

ninah i daren't as some would absolutely flame me for it
know lots wouldnt but dont want the pc brigade on my case
but yes LMAO now..but wasnt originally!
are you still all loved up btw?

Ok, I see. I can see there is potential amusement online. There are some quite creepy peops though, one with a serial killer face who calls himself 'kitten' another who boasts he has 'no verandah over the toyshop' I mean, how gross is that?!
Yes still loved up seeing him tonight and again tomorrow night when for the first time ever my sister is having dc OVERNIGHT! Yay! I'm hoping she likes it a lot

ugh am shuddering at the thought
i had one creepy pervo(who on his profile insisted that must be no more than a size 12)
he never messaged but lurked [shudder emoticon]
constantly checking my profile to see if i had updated it with my dress size[really shuddering emoticon]
god his face haunts me still...[shuddering and now wretching emoticon]
am so pleased to hear that you're still loved up Ninah bless lol!
looks like you've got your week-end sewn up ENJOY!!
guess we just need update from WCL now..
and i bet VT would be up for a nite of online pervo teasing with my girlyfriends LOL!!

well we've been texting a bit this afternoon - he texted me first but seem to be skating around the issue of meeting up for some reason (although we have agreed that we would like to meet for a drink at some point) ie we have talked about plans for weekend etc. I have told him I have no plans tomorrow but am busy on Sunday.

I can't work out if he contacted me for a friendly chat or to make an arrangement. And I don't want to ask outright as it may be he has other dates lined up this weekend which is of course fair enough. I do feel he should be asking me rather than the other way around. I think I will sign off next time with something like 'hope to see you soon'. Maybe you have to be more direct I don't know.

The prob here also is my exbf (who I have been seeing on an off for abt 18months) - ) is when he is around a fairly avid texter (ie one month I sentand recvd about 1000 texts). When we first met up again we were texting some days quite frequently for nine hours. I do realise this is unusual though and that most men do not have texting habits like this.

The downside of exbf though is that he will then disappear for several weeks and I will hear nothing.

BTW hope it doesn't sound like I have too many men ( as if there could be such a thing LOL)

I just thought that if exbf can't make up his mind what he wants then I will carry on with dating in the meantime and try to have some fun.

Gawd knows I waste so many years (and some of my peak years at that) in misery with exH it's about time I had aome lighthearted fun.

Generally it is fun but sometimes hard to decipher them I find.

hehe!!loved that comment
i think you're keeping your options open and fair play to you
life is for living
as you rightly said you've wasted alot of your adult life with your exh
and are entitled to enjoy your life from now onwards
sounds as if that guy is just being cautious
he wouldn't text you otherwise
and er dont ask me about texting habits!!
they either do it lots
or are just crap about it
would like some happy medium IMO!!
i guess that you are just used to the disappearing act business now?
must have driven you mad at first?

well signed off with hope to see/speak soon. Then I went to one quick work drink and came home. On the way back got an earbashing from exH but that's the subject of another thread.

so we'll see.

Yes the disappearing act is hard to cope with - it's explained by him saying he gets cold feet but really its totally unacceptable and I should knock it on the head after all this time.

He was the last serious bf before I met exH and I guess there is just unfinished business there.