I can't remember the last time something went right for me

[IllegallyBrunette]

Don't get me wrong, I know that there are people worse off than me, but it just struck me today that I now can't remember the last time something that I/we really needed or wanted went right.

It's got so that I don't even expect anything good to happen anymore and never expect things to work out be it job applications or whatever.

It is making me have a really negative view on absolutly everything I do tbh.

Not alot moondog. Have had my dad here doing my wall, tiling downstairs loo etc. Decorated my room and thats about it.

Will be wierd to be out of the house all day every day when at college.

Wonder if that means the house will stay tidier ?

Sing over the top of th whining. Let them complain, you don't have to tell them they are ungrateful. Children generally are ungrateful. They will understand when they are 30. Go looking for blackberries. Send them on a hunt for something obscure and give them a sweet when they have found 10 of them (works on ds1, I tell him to watch for orange cars.)

Take them to the park with a picnic, put your ipod or something on when they moan, and chirrup vacantly "oh dear, never mind" if they moan. (It drives ds1 nuts when I do this, but he stops moaning in the ennd)

Ps these are suggestions not orders....

It's true that house stays tidier. Also aspects of it don't get you down.
FFS,stick with it this time!

I will try. I just always tend to end up feeling like I wish I hadn't bothered alot of the time.

I remember last year in the hols I took them to a nature centre and park, bloody 3 buses there and 3 back, and I don't even like bloody animals. All they did was fight and argue all the way there, moan once we were there that it was boring and they wanted to go in the play area.
Moaned once in the play area cos they wanted ice cream, and then moaned when I said it was time to go.

I was more or less stunned into silence by the time we got home.

IB hve often read your posts and feel for you. It is relentless and shit but you cannot let yourself spiral down.

I challenge you to go and see Mama Mia by yourself and not feel even slightly uplifted when you come out!!

Dig deep inside (corny but true) it's what we all have to do.

Would post more but I am hungover. We had a party here last night and although I was nervous and bit worried and did it on a tight budget it all worked out fine.

Not many men though LOL it was like a giant girls night out with kids in another room. Perhaps next time I will invite the guys from the local fire station

Sticking with it is going to be the toughest thing for me tbh, and no I don't have any faith in myself that I will do it.

Only difference this time is that it is a different course and I have run out of options so have nothing else to try.

I am going with my mum on Friday i think CL

Hope the hangover isn't too bad.

your kids dont sound like theyre happy with anything!

What is so hard about doing this course?

No course is 'easy'- they dont give qualifications away, you have to work for it.

Just stick at it, it looks like an interesting course and one which will get you a career at the end of it, not just a job.

The nursery nurse posts with the HV are great jobs, and they prefer mature students for these placements.

Be positive nutty, you can do this. You are not an idiot, you are bright. Believe in yourself.

No, they obviously get it from me LOL.

They are just bored tbh bellyup, and who can blame them.

They deserve so much better than me as their mother thats for sure.

Well, make yourself into a better mother. Don't just moan about being a crap one.
Make them proud of you!

Tired speaks good sense.

Oh no I know the course isn't meant to be easy and i'd not want it to be, no point to that is there, but I do struggle alot with motivation and keeping up with the work.

I did a BTEC in childcare when I left school. Stayed for the whole 2 years of the course but never finnished the work, so that was it, two years wasted.

Then I met xp and wasted 10 more LOL.

Why didnt you finish the work on the BTEC?
(confused)

Pessimism breeds more pessimism, you need to stop this mad depressing spiralling of thoughts and events.

You need CBT!!
Stop ignoring this suggestion - it is designed for people like you! It is there to change the way you think about your life, ie im such a crap mum, no proper mates, probably will fail on the new course.

It will change you, why not phone your GP in the morning? Or i will do it for you?!

It is NOT the same as normal counselling.

You have to complete this course emma, its sounds as if its the only thing that is going to get your life rolling in the right direction.

If you give up on this, fast forward two years and we will be having the same conversation.

have you got a module guide of what the course entails?

agree with tiredemma-

you will still be stuck in this rut for the next few years if you dont stick it out!

all your posts are just screaming DEPREEEEESSSSSEEEEDDDDD!!

but , like anything in life, you have to put some effort in to get better

get some meds, be it St Johns Wort or traditional ADs

take some excercise, some GPS can prescribe excercise so you get free/ cheap access to swimming etc..

ask for CBT, there will probably be a waiting list though

eat as well s you are able to.

stop looking for the negatives, try some affirmations.

do small , positive steps every day. go to W H SMiths and spend £5 on new pens and pencils for college... get yourself in the right frame of mind

make things happen ! call your friend and book a time you can go to the pics, maybe a friday when exP has the children.

start to rejoin life

it is a slog, i have been there, but you need to get stuck in

I did fine in the first year of the BTEC but then I began to struggle and have assignments returned as failed when I had literally slogged my guts out. I started skipping more and more of the course and actually ended up taking an overdose.

The overdose wasn't just to do with the course though I have to say.

I don't have a module guide emma, as apparently parts of the course are being rewritten but I have a general idea of what it entails.

Well maybe your new course will be start of all things great!!??

I hope so. It is actually the course that I originally wanted to do when I left school, but the college made me do the BTEC because it was new and I was short of a gcse.

Have just blitz my bedroom and the bathroom which has made me feel alot better as they were both a tip.

Trying to decide what to do next. Kids are engrossed in a carry on film

I did my bathroom and bedroom too nutty. Gonna get dressed now.

I must sort out getting a blind for in here. The sun is out now and I can only see half of the computer screen.

Is it worth getting dresed now Charlie

Good mantra about exercise moondog!

Volunteer a few hours a week in oxfam, give blood. It's so true that giving something back DOES make you feel PART of society, which makes you feel valuable, valued, happier ......

Good for you for learning to drive and for going to college IB.. I'm also learning to drive and I'm an LP so I really need to.

I have just read the whole thread Nutty and I do really feel for you.

there is lots of good advice here though and people do care about you so please listen.

The first thing to do though is get dressed as soon as you wake up - the longer you leave it the worse it is.

Go blackberry picking tomorrow with the children and then come home and make a crumble.

It is free, healthy and will make the day pass quicker. Even if it rains, put on wellies and cagoules and go for it.

I would also go zero tolerance on whinging!!