I can't remember the last time something went right for me

[IllegallyBrunette]

Don't get me wrong, I know that there are people worse off than me, but it just struck me today that I now can't remember the last time something that I/we really needed or wanted went right.

It's got so that I don't even expect anything good to happen anymore and never expect things to work out be it job applications or whatever.

It is making me have a really negative view on absolutly everything I do tbh.

i ant see you

you can either give me your msn on here or email it to me on morticiatsf at googlemail dot com and i will try adding you

Hmm, the friends thing, I think you need to be pro active.
My Very Very Very bestest friend, at some point in the last month, I only saw her when she wanted money, or to use my pc to get cheats for her blokes playstation games And once I was aware of it I thought shit gonna have to say something...not having this, or just need to make her aware of the fact...so I did say Oi you, you havent gone for a bloody coffee to see me, you've came to get bloody cheats for yer bloke..
Which she laughed off, and denied, I laughed too, but it meant the next time she did come it wasnt with a purpose.
And then, she needed me to have her ds, which I did, which came in handy, when later on that week I needed a sitter.
So a bit of give and take is, the norm, I think? If you needed a sitter, or a favour would either of these mates help you out. Because if they are just take take take then they arent worth having. But if the favours are returned, well its what friends are for
You have me on MSN, rant away, showing offline at the mo, but generally am online.
x

Just wanted to say a quick thanks to Lou and CC for making me laugh on msn last night.

Honestly, you think you know posters and then you suddenly see them in a whole different light

Have slumped back down again now

So much to do and I just don't want to do any of it.

Kids are moaning and whinging and calling me about every 2 seconds, and I want to go back to bed.

DD2 has just said that she wants to go to daddies because at least he takes them out and buys them things, I don't do anything.

Yeah, thats why I spent the last of my money on a load of craft stuff last week.

Nothing I do makes any difference.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is there any way you can get your ex to have the kids a little bit more? If he has them every saturday maybe you can work on saturdays only? just for a bit more money.

i really think, like the others have said, that you need to see your GP. i am on ADs myself, a very high dose, and thats what is helping me so much, as well as all the positive thinking that does seem to work.

I'd be no better of working saturdays though as what i earnt would be taken away again from my IS.

Xp has them Friday night to Sat afternoon and wednesdays for tea in term time.

He has had them slightly more since they broke up but only because I have had appointments for various things and couldn't afford the bus fare to take them with me.

Another 4 weeks of this is going to drive me mad.

I said i'd take them to the park but they said no it's boring.

They want to go swimming but I haven't got any bus fare. I am not surprisxed they'd rather go to their dads tbh.

Read back what you have written.

Can you see any pattern?

Every suggestion that is made to you, you automatically answer with a negative response. You do seem like you think the world is against you, but theyre not. Like i said, its your own way of thinking.
If you dont DO something about it, it will continue like this forever.

Perhaps the job thing should be the thing you focus on first - i know you have applied for loads of jobs, but the law of averages says you should get at least an interview for one of them.
Once you have a job, it will lift your confidence, and make you feel so much better for earning money. And who knows, you may make a lot of friends on this job, and your whole social life could change...

I guess that having 3 kids all the time is bloody hard work (i have 2, but ds goes away every wkend and dd is at gym most mornings).. is there any way you can learn how to drive, perhaps?

Could you think about teacher training? so the holidays would fit in with your kids, and you seem very articulate, and write very well. Im sure you have lots of skills, you just need to realise it.

I am learning to drive.

I think I said further down about job hunting. I had to give myself a cut off point. I have been looking for 2 years and got nowhere. I cannot afford to look for another 2 years and still get nowhere. Thats why I am going back to college instead.

ok cool, so are you planning on doing well and enjoying your course? what will you achieve from it at the end?
do you know what sort of career you want to do?

Not 100 % sure at the mo. Options I have thought of are ..

Getting a job in a state nursery school so term time only.
Doing the above for a bit and then doing more studying.
Or trying to get a job as a community nursery nurse, helping out the health visiting team.

Can probably get placements in both of those whilst training to see if I like it.

Also need to try and squash maths and english gcses in somewhere along the way.

Hi Nutty.
Sundays alone with kids are grim aren't they?

Best mood enhancer is a long walk, it really is, and I don't apologise for sounding about 75.

My mantra is 'Noone ever regretted doing some exercise'.

Hello again
Ideas for the kids...
Washing bikes/scooters.
Chalk outside. Hopscotch/noughts and crosses etc.
You have a wee boy, the kitchen basin and some playmobil/lego type figures, kitchen bowl being the swimming pool.
When they have trashed their rooms, offer them an ice cream if they have done it before a certain time, then take a long walk to go get an ice cream.
DO they have skates? Get them out on them.
Im sure I saw you mention something about real saw for ds...is there anything he could smash up for you in the garden with a real hammer under supervision? I had the kids smashing up a lump of concrete the other day they were at it for ages.
Get out he house even if its only for a 10p ice pole. xx

Are yuor 3 school age? What do yuo do then? How about volunteering, even for a few hours?

It would turn you into a giver, not just a'taker' seeing as you obv. feel that way about yourself.

I think Lou said, but I didnt coz I was on the phone, any time on MSN. Just give us a shout, by the way.

Can't do volunteering and college as college will be fulltime.

The kids are on the wii now but thanks for the suggestions, will keep them in mind for when they are next bored.

I have always hated sundays tbh and in the hols every day seems like a sunday to me.

I have bitten my nails . Haven't done that for over 2 years.

I think you will feel a world and a half better when you are at college. The summer holidays take LPs out of the measure of their days, and that is misery itself. no routine, no reason to even get dressed, no adoring husband coming home, no feeling of relief at dropping the children off at school, no scurrying for dinner and bedtime etc etc. It saps motivation (well it certainly saps mine).

You've not long left now until the new term, can you make a goal to go for a walk by 11.30am, every single day?

Not sure. I could, but the kids would whinge and moan that it was only a walk and i'd end up telling them they are ungrateful.

I coped ok for the first week and a bit because dd2 and ds had swimming lessons every morning and by the time we got home it was lunchtime and then they were happy enough to entertain themselves then for the majority of the afternoon.

You are right though. I lose all sense of time etc and everyday just blends into one with a sleep in between. We don't have anything arranged for the hols this year mainly because we go away in Sept and I can't afford to do both.

I have tried to find things to do, but it seems to be quite quiet around here this year. Last year the library did loads of free things that the girls went to but this year there isn't half as much.

Oh and xp rather unhelpfully told the kids he'd takem them to the seaside for the day but only if I went aswell.

I said no and so now they think I am being mean and selfish.

You ignore tthe whingeing and go.
What were you doing when kids in school before?