I can't remember the last time something went right for me

[IllegallyBrunette]

Don't get me wrong, I know that there are people worse off than me, but it just struck me today that I now can't remember the last time something that I/we really needed or wanted went right.

It's got so that I don't even expect anything good to happen anymore and never expect things to work out be it job applications or whatever.

It is making me have a really negative view on absolutly everything I do tbh.

Who do you feel is forcing you? Your family or just the system as a whole- making it difficult to get work without quals?

If you dont want to do it, its going to make the next two years pretty hard for you.

And your kids dont think that you are crap.

can you not think well it is really good to be able to study and recieve benefits

studying ime is a lot more fun than working

and you will get the work experience

if wporking with children is something that excites you then you should enjpy the course

do you find the idea of studying scary?

honestly you are not wasting time you are still young

They do emma. I saw someone last week that i'd not seen for a while and she was asking how I was etc. She asked if I was working, and dd2 pipes up 'no, non one will give her a job because she doesn't know how to do anything'.

I feel like I am being forced because I don't have any time left to do anything else. If I keep looking for a job and don't find one then I'll be shoved onto jobseekers allowance because I will be deemed to be being lazy and not wanting to work.

I am probably going to have to agree to let xp collect the kids from school everyday which isn't something i want but can't do it any other way.

if you tell the kids no one will give you a job they are only repeating it

not getting a job doesnt make you useless either

(vested interest of my own there)

Surely as long as you declare any income to DSS you won't be committing fraud. Can you ask your Lone Parents adviser what the procedure is for any temp work you might get on the back of this. It might help you feel more useful ? You know you've to got to do this to move on but only you can actually make that move.

I haven't told the kids that no one will give me a job, they aren't stupid, they hear me telling people I have applied for things and then hear me telling them that I didn't get it.

Liz - If i did temp work out of term, for say 2 weeks, i'd have to change details for all of my benefits, and tax credits can take up to 6 weeks to update your claim. So by the time they'd done it, i'd have stopped working and have to update again iyswim. The job centre actually advised mne against taking on any work that wasn't a minimum of 6mths long because of the hassle of sorting out benefits.

Well at least you've asked. Is there anyone at the college you can talk to ? You obviously need to gain some qualifications to get a job now, I think your job search has shown you that what work you want simply just isn't there at your current level of formal education. That mean doing the course you've signed up for (and perhaps looking back at why you applied for it and what you decided not to pursue on the back of your earlier enthusiasm might help) or some basic GCSE's as a start. The college will want you to succeed at whatever you choose (not least because their funding depends on it) so will want to help you make the right choice of a course you will see through, not what you feel forced into. tbh I think you need to get some outside input or you will continue to run around in circles and risk talking yourself out of it altogether.

Oh I am definatly doing the course. I looked into which course to do for ages and when I had the interview for this one, the tutor agreed that I was picking the best one is terms of what it could lead to.

At the moment I just don't feel like I will enjoy it but perhaps I will be pleasantly surprised. I am quite worried though because I will miss the first week and so everyone will already of made friends by the time I start.

My driving lesson went well anyway. Instructor said that she wouldn't normally be taking someone out on the roads I have been on after 6 lessons, but I am doing so well that she felt it was ok to try. She said that she'd be surprised if I haven't passed by the easter hols nevermind next years summer hols.

Well that's encouraging Any chance you could meet any of the others beforehand ? I donlt think adult friendships are established that quickly , especially amongst older students so would n't worry too much. Would n't hurt to meet the tutor again beforehand if you can.

at least your driving appears to be going well. Mine hasnt even mentioned my test and ive been driving since last oct!

nutty i missed the first week of my course last year because I went on the diving holiday in Egypt, I still made friends..they didnt do much in the first week except join the library etc

I got my results today actually

How did you do Zippi ?

i got a double merit

which i am quite surprised at as it all fell apart somewhat in the final term

i have just sent two job applications off which i have managed to make not very good somehow or other

i didnt seem to be able to get myself in the right frame of mind to express myself properly

Well done you

Will cross my fingers for the jobs too.

gawd - seriously, why are you bothering to do a childcare course? The only jobs you will be able to get after you finish it will be low paid, long hours no real prospects.

Why not take this opportunity to study something that will have potential to provide a better future for yourself. Something a bit more ambitious, where you can really excel.

Otherwise you may as well just register and be childminder - no course and immediate job.

As you are a lone parent you have loads of opportunities to study so pick your course wisely.

Like what ???

I don't want a job where I never see my kids, so something high powered etc with long hours isn't for me.

A childcare course gets you into more things than you think.

not 'high powered' at all

what about social worker, counsellor, police officer, teacher, nurse, speecha nd language therapist, radiographer, midwife, occupational therapist, drug and alcohol worker, prison officer, probation officer,

all of htese will give you a well defined career path and are reasonable well paid as well as being flexible. I would spend 3 years aiming or something higher than a nursery nurse....very low paid tbh you dont sound that you like children very much.

How do I sound like I don't like children ???

I don't wish to do any of the jobs you have said. I know alot of people in those preoffesions tbh and that in itself is enough to put me off.

I am not saying that I will train as a nursery nurse and never do anything else, but for now it is all I can manage tbh.

I feel like you are trying reverse psychology on me LOL.

"I don't wish to do any of the jobs you have said. I know alot of people in those preoffesions tbh and that in itself is enough to put me off"

I Do hope you are not including me in this comment nutty

ROFL, no I wasn't, honestly

This time next week I will be in my bridesmaid dress feeling sick LOL.

Hello

Just want to say that I've read this great book recently called Feel the Fear and do it anyway.
It helps you try and be positive in the face of adversity and is a surprisingly good read!

You might meet the man of your dreams at this wedding (not necesarily part of the wedding party, but someone who works there perhaps?)

I love your name wheredohairbandsgo , and thanks for the book suggestion.

I suppose it is a possibility emma, but it isn't something I will be looking for tbh.