How do other lone parents manage with lack of intimacy

[WinterSnowFox]

So I’m ok being alone but how do other lone parents manage with lack of sex? I guess we are not all spending years celibate? Do most single mums have a fwb? It’s been 7 YEARS for me and it’s been hard! (I’m only 35) Not for lack of interest just lack of opportunity/ no time alone. It’s not just sex I also miss kissing and hugging and general intimacy.

Neither would a fwb though or a man after just sex? Which are the only options as no man wants a relationship with a woman who has zero time off from her children as already stated, no holidays, no weekends away, can’t even stay over 🤷‍♀️ so not going to get that from a fwb either and true fwb where there’s an actual friendship only happen with men you already have a friendship with not men from OLD. I’m not deluded enough to think any man would want a relationship with a woman that never has any time away from her children.

I think my fanny would shrivel shut at the idea of getting it on with someone who can't cope with parenting their own children for longer than 45 minutes!

I imagine actually most women would if they let their ex stay in their house, it’s just most women obviously don’t allow that!

Nope. In many cases that isn't the reason, at all, and there is no contact between father and children at all, or the father is dead, or lives in another country...

😂 yes he brought them back after 45 minutes I just don’t think he likes the thought of me being alone or having a break! Another reason why he only sees them at mine and why I doubt he would have them for me to date, if he ever does take them anywhere (just remembered he took them to the cinema twice but both was for birthdays) he always without fail invites me to come with them it’s always “do you want to come with us”, I was also invited to the park the one time he took them…

And yet you find this utterly incapable man who refuses to parent or provide for his children, or even see them regularly, and left you when pregnant and is happy for you to raise all four of them single handed sexually attractive?

OP I honestly don't know why you post these threads because every time posters make the same points and every time you argue with/ ignore them and only listen to the posts supporting what you want to do anyway. If you won't listen to opinions that aren't what you want to hear and are determined to do this anyway - despite the damage it's likely to do to your children and the fact that it will encourage your ex to disrespect you and push boundaries even more - then why keep posting about it every few weeks pretending to want to hear what others do/ would do?

Indeed.

I suggest you have 50/50 custody with your Ex and move on with your life. They are half his kids and his responsibility

why keep posting about it every few weeks pretending to want to hear what others do/ would do?

Odd, isn't it. She posts the same thing every time and gets told the same every time. The only thing that changes is "I'm can't move on from a man who left me 5yrs ago... 6yrs ago.... 7...."

And yet in all this time, despite his obvious love for OP, he's never got back with her, but managed to date several other women, has moved further away, blocks OP and won't have his children nor pay for them. Around once a quarter, he throws a few crumbs and OP dances around at the words of the man who loves her. He knows that's sufficient to keep her quiet for another few months.

We've all tried spelling it out. We get told we're clearly jealous/can't stand the idea that he obviously loves her. As if all these strangers online, who have clearly taken the time to try and show her what a mockery he's making of her, and how she's wasting the one life she has, are actually all wrong and have some kind of ulterior motive.

But yes, the continued pretending to want to hear others advice, just to argue how it's all impossible unless the answer is "shag your ex" is weird.

Where has he dated “several other women” you’ve made that bit up he has said himself he hasn’t but I guess you know him 🙄🤦‍♀️

He lives 90 mins away so won’t be doing 50/50 he won’t have them overnight because he has nowhere to have them so won’t be doing 50/50

From the many other threads.

I have never ever once mentioned that he has been with other women 😏 imagine caring so much if someone shags their ex 🤷‍♀️ sad.

This really is not the "sad" thing about your threads.

Much like you insist he loves you, because after all, you got a text meant for someone else, it's also not rocket science why you get blocked for months, then you get unblocked and he sends you a message when he's single bored

The guy could marry someone else and you'd still be insisting he is the man in your life, and he definitely loves you. When someone queried what on earth you thought you were doing, you replied it's "what couples do" says it all really.

Out of interest, why has the man who loves you, who you'd take back literally tomorrow, and could have moved in anytime jn the last 7 years, with nothing stopping him, not done so? Infact, blocked you, refuses to pay for or see his children, and moved an hour and a half away?

Haha now I know you are confused as he has not blocked me 😂 so I’m going to ignore anything else you say as you seem to “know it all” despite being completely wrong. It’s me that blocked him 🤦‍♀️ you are insane and very sad. I have made my mind up and this thread has been very helpful 🙂 so no need to comment any further. You may be happy to be a nun but I’m not.

I know you can't quote other threads, but unless you lied about it on them? Different username, but you post so much it's easy to recall certainly the last two.

I can find it pretty easily...

Get a life you are so sad. I blocked him and I asked if I should block him and was told yes. Get a life why do you care whose dick I ride 😂😂 taking this way too personal aren’t you?!

Yes indeed OP.

It is me/anyone who sees what a joke this man makes of you, who is sad. Or jealous.

At one point he blanked you and kids for 2 years! Then, you got "love you" which definitely wasn't an accident because it was a text and not a WhatsApp. That was all the proof you needed.

Then when you asked him if it was for someone else, he didn't actually say yes or no, but that didn't seem to matter either. He replied "what makes you think that". You got a politicians answer which absolutely definitely wasn't because you'd just put a child maintenance claim in. And you told your multiple threads on here, (and the extra ones apparently you'd written on Facebook groups?!) how foolish they all were because he clearly did love you.

You get one life. And it seems despite anyone trying to help you, you are determined to hang around for something that will never be.

Absolutely nothing stopping him being with you right now. And yet...

It's a bit ridiculous to post about your personal life repeatedly on a comment forum then take huge offence when posters comment on it and start insulting them when they have tried to help you with the issues you've described.

Because the poster is confused and has mixed things up and is speaking of it as if it’s a “fact” it’s sad how much she/he cares 😂

This is really upsetting you isn’t it? Are you ok?

Yet again, you can't answer why he's nowhere near you.

And please understand, I don't care. At all.

But you should. In response to your "Get a life why do you care whose dick I ride"

I have a life. With my husband and children. And again, couldn't care less whose "dick you ride."

Problem is, you don't seem to care less, and there are four children getting dragged through this delusional shit show.

He wants to be with me it’s me who has been holding off because I know I can do better but he will do for now 🙂

OP, you couldn't be putting it more on a plate. I don't know if you're trying to kid yourself that it's all been your choice, maybe that's a coping strategy.

Good luck. And a fifth baby isn't the way to keep him around.

Yeah this is a man I’m throwing myself at who can’t stand to be around me apparently, It’s sad how much you “think” you know about my situation with my ex when you have no idea and are making up things in your head. These Messages are Hardly the words of a man that can’t stand to be around me and Doesn’t appear to be me throwing myself at him I mean just look how desperate I am in the messages 😅 (if I was believe me I wouldn’t have went 7 years without sex would I 😂) anyway I won’t be engaging with you further as you seem unhinged but I will just leave these messages here that speak for themselves and will be breaking my celibacy very soon 😉

OP.

If someone sends me the first contact of two years, when I coincidentally put in a child maintenance claim, I'd have to be pretty hard of thinking to not connect the two. If the claim hadn't gone in, you'd have heard nothing from him.

I love you OP. It's written down look. So it's definitely true. Those messages...is that it??? My god they mean jack all, but you'll take anything as the only way you want too. It's really sad you can't see it. We all can. They are messages that mean absolutely nothing, is this your grand "proof??" You think we (happy, with our husbands, families,great sex life) are actually jealous that you are putting 4 children through this? Jealous of what OP? I mean seriously, what on earth are you seeing in this charade that you think anyone else would possibly want? But then you think the years he wouldn't speak to you, he was sitting celibate pining over you. After all, he text it. How low is your bar?

You ignore all the actions. He won't see your children. Goes years without contacting you. He loves you as much as I do. The desperation and how you seem to find it funny that anyone suggests it, is the unhinged part.

Honestly, your poor kids. Everything is about how you can trail around after someone who clearly couldn't care less about you. Or them. You've done it for seven years now. And you're still carrying on. It's not funny. You're a mother.