School won’t stick to agreement

[SpinningFloppa]

I posted this on SN children but no responses it’s a very quiet board and I need some advice as not sure what to do Monday, so trying again here.

I have 4 children 3 in primary, dd oldest just left school in July and is autistic thanks to her primary school she didn’t get a suitable secondary school so I’ve had no choice but to home ed (not my choice but that’s a different thread) anyway due to having 3 still at primary school I’m having to bring dd on the school run, dd is NOT coping with this and I’m having a struggle getting her down there every day, she refuses to come so I have to persuade her each day, she won’t wait outside and is becoming frustrated she also won’t come into the school grounds at all, I spoke to the school in the beginning and we came to an agreement that I would collect my other 3 early so dd doesn’t have to wait and avoids coming in, not super early only by 10 mins ... this was agreed by the senco, anyway the school are not sticking to it, and aren’t bringing them round or letting them come round alone leaving me standing outside the school gates with dd having a melt down.

Yesterday I got to the school early and buzzed on to remind them yet they still didn’t bring them out?! This meant I was stood outside the school gates unable to leave dd but also she wouldn’t come in. What can I do here as I’m at a point where I’m feeling like I can’t bring them to school as I can’t collect them! Any other options here as I’m at a loss, dd is super strong she won’t come in and gets angry if I try to make her, I will add when she was in school I was able to pick them all up early at 3 as dd couldn’t manage the noise and the crowds at pick up and after an incident happened in the play ground we came to this agreement, I’m just trying to avoid another situation happening.

You were told to appeal while you were still within the timescales. You were then told what to do once you were out of time. If the LA haven’t written following the early review then you can threaten to Judicial Review in order to get the right of appeal.

Of course none of us know the intricacies, but what a lot of us know, is what a shitshow the whole system is, and a lot of us will have been in equally stressful situations and want to support and empower you.
Did the other school tell you they didnt feel able to meet her needs in writing or verbally?
I would advise speaking to the SENCOS of the local mainstream schools, and explain and try and get it in writing how they would struggle tp meet her needs in their mainstream setting.
Youre going to need the papertrail of evidence.
Its exhausting but you need respite and your daughter is entitled to a suitable education.

As for the other kids in the meantime. Could the two older kids walk and then its only one kid that needs to be arranged for.

Maybe put them in breakfast and after school club so you can collect earlier and a little later?

Just posting here to say, I’m sorry you have so much on your plate. I’m sorry your daughter isn’t getting what she needs.

If you child gets any disabilities payments etc these could help pay for the costs of course I understand it isn't cheap

We are massively missing a different type of SEN school in this country. it sounds like the school are correct in that your DD would not suit a SEN school if she is academically ok, but clearly emotionally she cannot cope with mainstream. I have seen this a few times as a teacher and I think it is appalling that we don’t have a middle ground for academically good, but SEN children. Like a pp pointed out, sending a SEN child to mainstream to ‘prove‘ they can’t cope is basically torture, but often an ordinary SEN school is not the right place for children like your DD, either.

It often isnt, but theres a process you have to go through with proof that its been tried and tried. Its shit toknow youre putting your child through something that has a high chance of failure and even trauma in order to prove it doesnt work, in order to access specialist provision. It was bad enough before the tory cuts, and its awful now.
Too many SEN families with kids stuck at home who didnt actually even want to home educate and the child makes little progression.
Its a nightmare. I managed to finally get my kid a SEN place for year 9. I thought he would never manage mainstream secondary, but surprisingly year 7 was much more supportive than expected, and it only fell apart in year 8, but we had a lot of evidence by that time. Was still a fight even then!

If you dont try mainstream at all, you are at a disadvantage because you dont have the evidence of what works and what doesnt in that setting.

Wow tricky
Seems crazy they expects her to go from full time 1: 1 to nothing in secondary ...I mean how does that even make sense ?
can you ask for a meeting with the ECHP team to get that re evaluated ??
Sorry I don't have any answers
TA support to get the primary children to you could be an issue ...when did senco agree to this arrangement ?

Officially OP’s DD didn’t go from 30 hours 1:1 to nothing because the 30 hours 1:1 wasn’t specified and quantified in section F of the EHCP. The EHCP is woolly and vague.

Ah ok
What a bloody mess !!!!

its unfair on your other 3 children to have to leave early every day. Also very hard for the staff to arrange and bring them out to you. You can’t expect everyone else to do what you want.

@SpinningFloppa

So, you posted for advice whilst within the time limit for appeal and you were given advice which took you through each step but you just... didnt do it?
Then you were out of the time limit and you were given advice on what to do to get the right to appeal again and you just... didnt do it.

Now, again, you're being given advice on how to get a right of appeal again and you're actually saying, "I'm not looking for advice on the school place just on how to collect my other kids."

You dont seem interested in fixing this for your child and getting her where she should be. You dont seem equipped for home schooling as it isnt fitting in with your life and commitments to your other children.

Why didnt you take any of the advice on board and push for her to have a place in a suitable school? Why ignore it, get yourself into this situation and now throw a strop because the primary school wont sort out after school pick up arrangements for your other kids?

I work in a school office and the 10 minutes early is difficult. Teachers are busy, or there is ppa cover, or a pe teacher, or a different TA. Or you ask me to call up and the phone rings 3 times in a row and then you are no longer early etc etc.

But....if your eldest collected the others and walked them through to reception after the bell, I would happily watch them for 5 minutes till the rush had gone and you could come get them.

@SpinningFloppa - I think when things are tough it’s really easy to sort of become a bit of a victim without really wanting to or meaning to and you end up being a bit passive, not in a totally numb way but almost in a bit of a cross, tetchy way, because things are just so fucking hard and other people don’t get how hard it all is.

I don’t necessarily have ‘proper’ advice but @Branleuse and @Needmorelego really know what they’re talking about. I think you need to let them help you here. There is no way on this planet you can carry on as you are until your daughter is in year 11, and apart from anything else, YOU need a break too.

There is no way your other children can leave ten minutes early, that really adds up. No school in the land should be okaying that.

I’m sorry OP this sounds incredibly hard.

I would ask for a meeting with the head to discuss, and I would bring you autistic daughter to that meeting if at all possible, maybe meeting the head at the gates if your daughter won’t go on site.

I’d ask Citizens Advice Bureau, and in special needs Facebook groups, for how to get DD school options reassessed. Clearly she needs a special school and they exist but I hear getting a place is like a full time campaigning job for a while!

If money allows I’d also consider paying a childminder to pickup the younger two and bring them home to you. Maybe post on local Facebook groups offering to pay for this. For the right money someone will say yes but it may be tricky finding them.

I’m sorry it’s so hard 😭

Do you know my daughter, she DID have a 30’hour 1:1 she was with her 1:1 all day in school, she was never left at all.

Another thought...is your daughter completely out of the school system now? If not she could be entitled to a home tutor. My daughter was on the roll at mainstream but couldn't cope so while we were trying to get a sen school her funding for mainstream was provided with a tutor. If you got this you could time the tutor so she/he is there while you go pick up the others (also gives you a break from the homeschooling for a little bit).

I can’t believe some of these posters speaking as if you know me, my daughter was collected at reception in the mornings and brought back to me at home time by her 1:1 she was only left at lunch time and that was with another member of staff so her 1:1 could have a break, she was with her at ALL other times, she was 2:1 for school trips, and you are speaking like you know me and telling me she didn’t have a 1:1

If she is capable of going to school with the crowds surely she is capable of coming in to get her siblings 10 mins early. Would a weekly reward chart work here? Can she take a scooter if skipping rope or iPad or bike or a fidget toy or bubbles or play music from your phone or something with her to use from the car to the school?

And then you collect the child's rent from their classes early ?

Children not child's rent

No one said she didnt have a 1:1.
There is a poster who clearly knows your piating history and has tried to help you before but you haven't acted on any advice.
She said that the 1:1 wasnt specified or quantified in section F of the EHCP. Because the wording is usually vague, so the help can be provided in one setting but officially, she hasn't been award a 1:1 so it can be removed and they can say, "Well a 1:1 isn't indicated by her EHCP so she doesn't need it."

I’ve said I posted before about having trouble getting her into an sen school, that poster doesn’t know what I have and haven’t done, she doesn’t know me. The fact the 1:1 isn’t mentioned in the ehcp means if she went to the secondary they don’t and won’t be providing it.

She was picked up early for years whilst at the school after an incident in the playground which I won’t go into as I will probably be ripped to shreds for that as well.

Honestly, no one is ripping you to shreds. I think a minority of posters don’t get it which is fine but they aren’t being horrible.