Really stressful explaining to my three year old that we can't afford to put the TV on

[Shelovespawpatrol]

I've got a job interview next week but if I don't get the job, don't know what we are going to do over winter. I checked my daily usage and it costs £3 a day to have the TV on in the background for a couple of hours, have a quick shower each and cook a meal. I've only been paying £34 a month electric until my fixed tariff ended recently and won't be able to afford £90 a month on £550 a month Universal Credit.
I can't afford to take my DD out on the bus to keep her out of the house and she only goes to nursery 15 hours a week. It was okay in the holidays because they gave us a free bus pass so we made it to the beach and trips into town to different parks.
I know it is only a year and she will be at school all week and they have after school clubs, and my job options will open up, but I'm so frustrated and stressed at keeping having to tell her no. She likes watching YouTube which is a lot cheaper than the TV to run, but that stops her playing at the same time and I don't want her absorbed in that. We haven't really got any friends in our new area yet, for her to do play dates with (despite trying!). I know everyone is in the same boat, so I'm not looking for pity, just wanting to vent to those who get it. Really bugged me earlier seeing someone complaining about having no money left after paying for car and children's activities. I can't even give my daughter that right now, despite saving what I could and always looking for job opportunities which fit nursery hours.

Its not the scrimping which bugs me, because I can be quite happy on little and find my own inner happiness, but it's having to deal with the tantrums and my daughter not understanding why things are being taken from her all of a sudden. I don't know what to choose to keep and pay for.

Quick q - how do you heat your hot water?

I have an electric shower and when I wash up I boil a kettle because it's cheaper than boiling a tank of water.

You were asking for advice on holidays 'preferably under £1000' one month ago.

I've been in desperate poverty in my life (thankfully not for a while). If I was at the point of not even being able to turn the TV on for Paw Patrol 😭 and had a sudden windfall of thousands of pounds, I wouldn't be spunking it on foreign holidays.

op which country are u in

Check out some of the support threads for Ukrainian hosts on here or the group's on Facebook. You will find all the answers to why. One woman was recently denied her thank you payment because the council failed to come round and do the welfare arrival check before the guests left.

That's not true. It's at a reduced rate but I still pay it. The reduction varies from council to council. In my last area it was quadruple what I pay now but the water is more here as no water meter is able to be fitted, so it balances itself out.

Have the water co put you on a cheaper tariff than standard unmetered properties? If they physically can't put a meter in, they usually put you on a cheaper rate (sorry, I can't remember what it's called, but it happened to me).

It's a really tough time. But no one needs TV as 'background', maybe just put it on for certain special shows - use the opportunity to teach time as you can make it into a fun game of using the clock.

How sad is that!!! OP please dont listen to this!! Most depressing thing I have read in ages.

"Does she sound like the type of woman who smokes and drinks alcohol?!"

wut

If you thought your yearly income was about to go up by £4200 tax free and you found a one off two week holiday for £300 you'd probably think you could afford the give yourself a break, knowing there was also a chance you'd be starting another job on top of that income increase.

Right sorry, an 82.5% reduction then,
still makes a big difference to the amount of money you have available in the PP’s calculation.

You were asking about foreign holidays preferably under a grand FOUR weeks ago? Without a pot to piss in by all accounts. Now you cannot boil the poxy kettle. Will ya get a grip.

Don't want to spend more than a grand if possible So you had a spare 1000 quid floating about in the "when my money comes through" bank.

If possible? Jesus Wept!

That calculation missed out gas, and other bills I have so that balances that miscalculation out.

Read the whole thread before you start shouting blasphemy. That hypothetical holiday was when I expected to be backdated money I was owed as well as regular monthly money for the next year or so!

Just trying to think of a few other things...

Is your hot water (other than the shower/kettle) heated by electric or gas?
Is it a shower enclosure or an over bath shower?

Could you change your electric oven for a gas one?
There may be grants etc to help cover the cost and it would cut your cooking energy costs down..

It’s a calculation on your Council Tax, not anything else

I would love to see the bills and income of all the people telling op that she needs to manage her money better and going on about a concert she went to. Sigh

Our library service also puts on story time and other activities for pre-school children.

Mind you, my local one is only open 21 hours a week. Still better than heating your house for those hours though.

OP regardless of why you wanted to buy the holiday or the killers tickets, this current crisis is a wake up call to you and many others that you’re not very good at managing money.

There are some people who are unable to afford things because they simply don’t have the money.

But the truth is that you’re allocating any spare money to frivolous causes such as £1000 holidays and going into debt for concert tickets. And all that has been done on the basis of money you thought you were going to get.

But truth is that you didn’t have that money at the time, so you weren’t in the position to spend it, especially as not getting the money now means you’re in a position where you feel you can’t turn the tv on.

There are a lot of people who are going to be struggling purely because they already are and who have no control over that.

But there are also a lot of people who are in for a hell of a shock because this crisis is just going to bring it home to them that they’ve been shit at managing their money and now don’t know how, but it’s too late.

During lockdown my DD was 4 and we made lots of activities based around books. She loved going for things like a treasure hunt on the local area. Even just reading or watching ‘We’re going on a Bear Hunt’ then going exploring in the local area quoting the book. Stick man is great too and collect sticks to make the stick family. Just a few ideas of free activities to get outside. Also bookbug is great, free and get a heat in the library over winter!

TBH I think that there is too much TV available to kids.

Of course parents are going to let them watch it. But the fact that there are children’s programmes on 24/7 is ridiculous.

We all absolutely coped with just an hour or 2 of tv a day and for the rest of the time we had to entertain ourselves.

Now the reality is that many children have lost the ability to entertain themselves because all they do is watch tv and play on ipads.

OP you still aren’t listening- you need budgeting help, proper budgeting help because you aren’t managing your money properly.

Being sensible with money does not mean you shouldn’t have clothes or hair cuts or be able to put the tv on, but you need to start being realistic, yes it’s rubbish not having any money but as much as you don’t like hearing it having a low income means budgeting and being sensible and planning your treats within your means.

There are lots of posters who have very well
meaning advice for saving a few pennies but honestly mostly it’s not sustainable or realistic or necessary. Speak to staff at your child’s nursery they will be able to signpost you to some proper advice and support.

Blasphemy?? Christ on a bike.

I have read the whole thread, I have seen where you slipped up and name failed and I have seen where a matter of 30 days ago you were bleating on about a thousand quid holiday. Now you are complaining about not having enough money to put the telly on. GIVE me strength.

I have also read the Ukrainian hosting thread where you described the baby as a "beast" and had a big long post about how you hated them there and how your life was hell and how you are tired of them "needing so much more than the average Brit".

Yes, a name change fail is rarely a good thing when you are on moaning about something.

Good luck with the job hunting and for the future I would look for advice on future budgeting and planning.