Really stressful explaining to my three year old that we can't afford to put the TV on

[Shelovespawpatrol]

I've got a job interview next week but if I don't get the job, don't know what we are going to do over winter. I checked my daily usage and it costs £3 a day to have the TV on in the background for a couple of hours, have a quick shower each and cook a meal. I've only been paying £34 a month electric until my fixed tariff ended recently and won't be able to afford £90 a month on £550 a month Universal Credit.
I can't afford to take my DD out on the bus to keep her out of the house and she only goes to nursery 15 hours a week. It was okay in the holidays because they gave us a free bus pass so we made it to the beach and trips into town to different parks.
I know it is only a year and she will be at school all week and they have after school clubs, and my job options will open up, but I'm so frustrated and stressed at keeping having to tell her no. She likes watching YouTube which is a lot cheaper than the TV to run, but that stops her playing at the same time and I don't want her absorbed in that. We haven't really got any friends in our new area yet, for her to do play dates with (despite trying!). I know everyone is in the same boat, so I'm not looking for pity, just wanting to vent to those who get it. Really bugged me earlier seeing someone complaining about having no money left after paying for car and children's activities. I can't even give my daughter that right now, despite saving what I could and always looking for job opportunities which fit nursery hours.

Its not the scrimping which bugs me, because I can be quite happy on little and find my own inner happiness, but it's having to deal with the tantrums and my daughter not understanding why things are being taken from her all of a sudden. I don't know what to choose to keep and pay for.

This make it any clearer for you???

I really want them to go but they haven't done anything outrageous, but just really winding up my DD.
We haven't even had our initial inspection yet so don't know if we will get the monthly payments.
I'm just hoping they hurry up and do it and say the space is too small and make them leave or something

Hi OP, you sound like a very dedicated and thoughtful mum to me. Sorry things are difficult.

Haven't had time to read the whole thread but if it hasn't come up yet - there's this thing called kochkiste in German and haybox in English that apparently can save a lot of energy while cooking. Bring food to boil, then finish cooking in a box insulated with hay.

Sounded like a total canard to me but then I asked my mum and she said oh yeah, we used these all the time when I was little. She's 83, so it's a post-war thing. Of course, you need to buy or construct the thing first... here's hoping you can let your daughter have stuff in days to come.

No That sounds like a young woman who’s at breaking point after taking on something she was ill equipped to deal with. Refugees require enormous levels of practical and emotional support and op’s story was repeated across the country by well meaning hosts with no idea of the task they were taking on.

It’s shocking that refugees were placed like this without the initial inspection or paperwork in place.

Calling a baby a beast?? Are you for real? A BABY?

Won't SOMEBODY think of the children!

I know!!! Especially from
a war torn country in a strange land with strange people. Calling a baby who is teaching out for food or things they have not seen before a beast is pretty low.

Maybe it was more thinking of the money instead of the children.

If I really just wanted the money, I would have gotten a single lodger for a lot more than the thank you payments, and without having to do anything to support and emotionally worry about and not have to clear up crumbs and toys every day and not see all day long and take out and about. It isn't 350 a month per refugee, it's per household. I never signed up for the money, I wanted to sign up before they said about thank you payments.

Me too. Jesus Christ.

You think teachers never vent about their students, nurses about their patients, carers about their clients? Just being on here seeing other people vent about their family members shows you it's normal to let off steam when you're caring for others. You wanna come join one of the private Facebook groups for hosts to vent about their experiences. There's over 1,000 of us. Your judgemental jaw would reach the earth's inner crust.

Mumsnet was like this at the height of the pandemic- people turning on each other in difficult times.

Now posters are being ripped to shreds by some for daring to complain about the cost of living crisis. Accusations that it’s the original poster’s fault they are struggling are rife. I’ve seen it on every “cost of living” thread. Is it a form of denial about the situation, who knows?

I’ve no idea why some posters are trawling through old threads in order to demonise a single mother worried about money, accusing her of “not budgeting” and taking in refugees purely for the paltry amount of compensation offered by the government.

Then we have all the harking back to the 70’s when they were poor as a child but it did them no harm, their mothers cut their cloth accordingly. It was shit then and it’s going to be shit now. Turning on each other in the vacuum of social media is helping no one.

Those pesky war refugees coming over here with their trauma. How very dare they. And you can’t even make any money off them to fund a holiday!

👀

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I actually do want to be able to go back through this thread to reread the supportive comments and jot down some of the apps and tips which have been helpful, but it's comments like the ones you are speaking about which is making me squirm away from this thread.

The thing is, there are other people who would have benefitted from the positive comments in this thread, which also prompted me to create it, but they might also have been put off by the nastiness.

Thank you. That sounds quite exciting. I'm sure my daughter would find it fun too. I'll look into it :)

Its really hard, isn't it. I am sorry you are having such a tough time too.

So fitting that you would be squirming. You spoke about children and refugees horrendously

Thank you :) I appreciate your kind supportive comments in all of your posts. Definitely got to get sorting some work out soon, once all this change has sunk in and processed.

@shazzybazzy34 Well feel free to go onto that thread and report me or bring it up there. Otherwise leave me alone to get the support I'm looking for with my thread on a completely separate topic.

Br careful with the name fails in the future. When you say mean things and pretend to be a poor vulnerable young mother where butter wouldn’t melt…it can come back and bite you in the butt. Goodnight now.

Oh your troll hunting really didn't bite me in the butt. I couldn't care less if you think that me venting about a stressful and traumatic experience for my young child, in my own personal style, using my own personal imagination and vocabulary, comes across in whatever way your mind perceived it to, about a situation you have absolutely no idea about, that happened to me months ago. You were just slightly annoying, like a gnat, as I am trying to focus on my current circumstances and not ones from the past. That's your conscience to deal with, for trying to attack me and derail my thread, and waste time. Not mine. My guest knows how stressed I was, and also knows how much I did for her, and we are at peace with one another, and I am at peace with everything that's happened and with my own self and who I am and how I handle things. I'm sure she equally had plenty to say about sharing personal space with me and my daughter in her own Ukrainian groups and I wouldn't think any less of her for doing so. The people who matter know, and can see through to the heart of a situation; you fellow internet browser, are not one of them.

Yet you cared enough to type out all that self righteous twaddle and call me a troll for calling you out for trashing refugees.
Okay then 😂

I said I didn't care what you personally think about me.

I do care that you're trying to derail my thread and turn it into a negative space though.

You did that all by yourself by name changing to cover up your own negativity. Don’t worry, I’m done here. Carry on droning on about how hard your life is… yada yada yada. You’ve shown your true colours. I’m out.

I'm not being ridiculous I knew I wasn't imagining it. See link below ⬇️⬇️

www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/cost-of-living/dwp-energy-benefits-gas-electricity-24667160