Really stressful explaining to my three year old that we can't afford to put the TV on

[Shelovespawpatrol]

I've got a job interview next week but if I don't get the job, don't know what we are going to do over winter. I checked my daily usage and it costs £3 a day to have the TV on in the background for a couple of hours, have a quick shower each and cook a meal. I've only been paying £34 a month electric until my fixed tariff ended recently and won't be able to afford £90 a month on £550 a month Universal Credit.
I can't afford to take my DD out on the bus to keep her out of the house and she only goes to nursery 15 hours a week. It was okay in the holidays because they gave us a free bus pass so we made it to the beach and trips into town to different parks.
I know it is only a year and she will be at school all week and they have after school clubs, and my job options will open up, but I'm so frustrated and stressed at keeping having to tell her no. She likes watching YouTube which is a lot cheaper than the TV to run, but that stops her playing at the same time and I don't want her absorbed in that. We haven't really got any friends in our new area yet, for her to do play dates with (despite trying!). I know everyone is in the same boat, so I'm not looking for pity, just wanting to vent to those who get it. Really bugged me earlier seeing someone complaining about having no money left after paying for car and children's activities. I can't even give my daughter that right now, despite saving what I could and always looking for job opportunities which fit nursery hours.

Its not the scrimping which bugs me, because I can be quite happy on little and find my own inner happiness, but it's having to deal with the tantrums and my daughter not understanding why things are being taken from her all of a sudden. I don't know what to choose to keep and pay for.

better for him to read

the child is a girl, and three. Probably not reading yet.

OP, I’m sorry. I got a little bit of a flaming a few weeks ago when I suggested the closure of most free or cheap activities will mean things are difficult for parents with toddlers. I hope you get the job.

It’s very unlikely to be the TV. But -

Are you paying for Sky, and can you cancel?

When she watches YouTube, is that on your phone? So she could watch programmes on there, maybe? Like on the iPlayer app if you have a tv licence?

I would avoid tv on in the background anyway, not because of the cost but because it isn’t great for her. On for shows that she actually watches then off again imo (I’m not speaking from the lofty heights, I have three kids under 5).

It does sound rubbish. I would double down on your efforts to find work during nursery hours. Consider becoming self employed cleaning/ dog walking could fit time wise. You’d get a work allowance before taper kicks in and even that £90 a week would make a massive difference to you.

This is really helpful, thank you.

I had very limited electric when DC were young ( off grid) they really loved listening to audio tapes with stories and songs on. I had an old tape recorder and got story tapes com charity shops.

What financial contribution are you getting from the child's father? Is he involved in taking her for days out?

I've just googled my electric shower and it's either a 7.5kwh one or an 8.5kwh one! It will probably be cheaper to fill the kettle and have a sink wash from now on. Might have to chop my hair short!
I'm still trying to find my oven wattage.
My TV is 125w so about 5p an hour.
I can't cancel my sky for another year but it's only £12 a month because they made a mistake with something and lowered it as a sorry. Would love to cancel the internet because we barely use it and it's £20 a month.
When I say she has it on in the background, I mean she has her favourite shows in the background whilst she plays with her dolls and intermittently stops to watch a bit. It is not all day, it's just when I've got chores to do. I can't even bake with her to entertain her because it is too expensive!
I'm thinking to put things on eBay to make some extra cash. First day back at nursery today and I'm processing all these mad changes. Half term is two weeks where I live so I'll have to go stay with a relative to afford to be at home with her. I just hate thinking this way.

Your oven will be at least 2kw.

If I had help from him do you really thinking I'd be stressing about taking showers?
He lives in the country she was born in where I previously lived and I have no idea where he is or even his phone number these days. I asked him once for help through Facebook messenger and he ignored me. Child support agency over there have yet to find him either.

I'm going to use the cost of living payment to pay for my heating this year.

I've got a slow cooker so I'm going to try to remember to make dinner first thing in the morning!

@Tlolljs it is insane right?

It will definitely be the oven - anything that creates heat uses a lot of electricity - below is my daily usage for a period of time this month - see that big spike? That's the day I roasted a chicken in the oven. Literally the only thing different that day.
Since seeing that, I'm more wary of using the oven for just cooking one thing, and will now try and cook as many things at once, using all the shelf space. Things like jacket potatoes, or cooking meals for several days that can then be reheated quickly (and cheaply) in the microwave. This is how people used to cook - filling every spare inch of the oven to make the most out of it being on!

Do you know if there is a way to find out the difference in wattage between the oven and the stove?

Your picture didn't attach so I can't see. My spikes have gone up since we were at home more with the TV on as I was sick for a week, so assumed it was that.

@Giveaschitt oh I can see the spike now. It looks like your oven is giving you the middle finger for using it.

Have you tried talking to your Health Visitor about the lack of financial support for your DD from her father? There may be a way to locate him via the Embassy for that country. As your daughter is a citizen of that country I would have thought they would have a Duty of Care to her.

If u have unlimited internet on ur phone switch to a fire stick and connect it through hotspot. Also means dc can watch a few liked programs then u can switch it off and say ‘oh the internet has stopped working’. I do this with ds also age 3, had a small winge the first couple times now he doesn’t even bat an eyelid

For what it's worth your router will be using pennies as well so you might as well put that back on too and stop using the data on your phone!

might as well use the broadband you are paying for.

Its America and they don't even track down the ones where the mums live over there. If they cannot actually put the court notice in his hand, he doesn't have to attend. Without an address they won't find him because his relatives will cover his back. He isn't even working and he has had another baby since, so I doubt they would get much from him.

Ive got unlimited internet for most of the things I use. Voxi, 12 a month.

Btw best of luck for your interview!

When I was young I was told I could not afford to have things I wanted sometimes. It is a good lesson for you child to learn at an early age
It would be far better for him to read or create his own amusement than just watching TV

There's always one ffs 🙄

Feel for you OP. We're going fucking backwards.

I think your best bet is to get a bit more cash coming in each week.

When mine were at nursery I took on a couple of two hour weekly cleaning jobs locally.
Ive continued and expanded to full time and it pays well and fits around dc.

Put an add on your local fb or next door app, all you need are some basic cleaning products to get started. I charge £15 per hour.
This income will not affect your UC payments.

Try to stay positive, I know it’s hard.

I've got an update guys! Just found the oven wattage and it is a whopping 7.9kwh!

Looks like the TV can stay on but all the easy toddler food my DD loves will have to be heated in a pan.

The slow cooker is 210 watts and that takes hours to cook so it isn't even cheap in itself and she won't even eat thins like goulash and stews.

Does anyone know how you find out the wattage of the stove?

Thanks for everyone for pointing it out to me.

Have you got an air fryer op? Cost significantly less to run than on oven.

Not sure if this is any use to you.
Slow cookers cost pennies a day to run and if you can bulk cook and freeze foods it's even better.