Really stressful explaining to my three year old that we can't afford to put the TV on

[Shelovespawpatrol]

I've got a job interview next week but if I don't get the job, don't know what we are going to do over winter. I checked my daily usage and it costs £3 a day to have the TV on in the background for a couple of hours, have a quick shower each and cook a meal. I've only been paying £34 a month electric until my fixed tariff ended recently and won't be able to afford £90 a month on £550 a month Universal Credit.
I can't afford to take my DD out on the bus to keep her out of the house and she only goes to nursery 15 hours a week. It was okay in the holidays because they gave us a free bus pass so we made it to the beach and trips into town to different parks.
I know it is only a year and she will be at school all week and they have after school clubs, and my job options will open up, but I'm so frustrated and stressed at keeping having to tell her no. She likes watching YouTube which is a lot cheaper than the TV to run, but that stops her playing at the same time and I don't want her absorbed in that. We haven't really got any friends in our new area yet, for her to do play dates with (despite trying!). I know everyone is in the same boat, so I'm not looking for pity, just wanting to vent to those who get it. Really bugged me earlier seeing someone complaining about having no money left after paying for car and children's activities. I can't even give my daughter that right now, despite saving what I could and always looking for job opportunities which fit nursery hours.

Its not the scrimping which bugs me, because I can be quite happy on little and find my own inner happiness, but it's having to deal with the tantrums and my daughter not understanding why things are being taken from her all of a sudden. I don't know what to choose to keep and pay for.

It is only twenty mins bus away but would cost me 4.50 to get to Macdonald's and back on the bus! My charger doesn't use that much power to charge.

I wouldn't bother explaining to a 3yo about the money aspect, I would just say 'we're not going to have the TV on all the time, so we can get on with other things' and hope that works.

We are all going to be cutting back a bit. It is a shit time, much shitter for those at the bottom end of the income scale but still shit all round really. I hope everyone in the lower 80% can pull together - what I keep seeing is people at the lower end on the income scale attacking anyone who still has their head above water - because we need to ensure that the people who really do have broad shoulders help us all out a bit now. In particular energy companies enjoying record profits could (be made to) throw us a bone, as both Labour and the Lib Dems are arguing.

I hope you don't smoke or drink alcohol OP, as this is an easy area to cut back if you do.

Good luck with the job interview.

Op you have the patience of a saint the amount of times you've had to explain yourself and repeat things.
Good luck with the job, I hope things improve for you soon 💐

Would you be asking that if I wasn't a single mum supported by UC?

Box tickets to see The Killers are not cheap either...ya know when you can't afford to turn on the telly. Discounted or not...not cheap.

@Shelovespawpatrol @justaladyLOL
Send the little one down the Mines!
Let them operate a vent door or something.
If their candle blows out, tough!

Let them work from age three!
Back to Victorian Values!
Television is a shameless luxury !

@Shelovespawpatrol It’s criminal the profits the energy companies are raking in.
Utter Greed.

‘The telly isn’t working now’ and switch it off at the wall. Sorry you’re going through this.

Our electric is quite low, we don’t have the tv on during the day during the week, use a air fryer instead of the cooker most of the week. We do have let’s that use electricity but other things are switched off. I know it’s harder when you have a young child, the tv is pretty essential at times unless they have been brought up without one. It awful that people are having to sacrifice so much due to energy costs.

@Shelovespawpatrol what country do u live in op?

That was ages ago before my bills went up and they were discounted as my friend works there. Back then my bills were £68 combined and the tickets were less than the increase for one month of bills. My only social event in a year and I'm still paying them off on a credit card each month, and like I said before I had Ukrainians living with me and assumed wrongly that I was going to be receiving £350 a month to be able to afford all of my needs and more. If you read that thread you'll see I was trying to sell them as I regretted the purchase. People are allowed to be slightly more comfortable at once stage and less so at another.

How could we help you OP?

I just needed to vent at how crazy this has all become. To be chastised for making a single, once in a lifetime purchase under £70 credit card purchase to cheer myself up four months ago, before my bills increased, that I dreadfully needed after three years sitting indoors on my own, is not what I was reaching out for.

I wanted to use this space to get my head clear on making a plan forwards, that I can manage, it was lovely this morning, and this afternoon the troll hunters arrived.

This might sound harsh OP but times like these should trigger a change a mindset for you (and for anyone else recently put in your position).

Unexpected events happen in life. When times are better your first priority should be thinking about saving up a suitable emergency fund to be able to weather future storms (like this one).

Unless you've already got a suitable emergency fund (~£5k in your position frankly because £6k will start to affect your UC) you shouldn't even be thinking about a £1000 holiday. It's utterly irresponsible.

Now if you told me that you had £5k+ at the time you were thinking about a £1k holiday then suddenly lost almost all of it due to some tragic event, it's a different story.

Nevertheless, either way I do feel for you and your daughter, it's not nice that people are suffering and I hope you get that job.

Isn’t this a little like Jack Monroe style poverty ?

Silly me I have spent all my money on VIP concert tickets now I need to feed myself and my child for the rest of the month on £10, if I cut rashers of bacon into quarters we could have 1 of those a day, would that be enough? (To be fair OP at least you don’t have the absolute brass neck to then do the wide eyed innocent link to PayPal that JM does)

OP it’s tough love time - you need to learn to manage your money better!

Speak to your child’s nursery and ask if they can help set you up with some support for budgeting etc.

@Shelovespawpatrol - I’m glad you’ve found you can keep the TV on for your toddler - sometimes it is the smallest things that mean the most.

Re the slow cooker - I have just bought one, because I make a lot of casseroles in the winter, and the cost of running the oven for 6-8 hours to cook them was just eye-watering. I am currently looking at slow cooker recipes, and I am definitely a novice, but it does look as if there are recipes that don’t need 8 hours in it - if I find any good ones, I’m happy to share them. I’m also planning to make extra, when I do make a casserole, so I can freeze some, and just reheat in the microwave.

I hope things get better for you.

Haha thanks for the advice but it was a one time £70 purchase when I still had over £500 in my savings and I put it on my credit card. Not a regular thing. It was hardly going to make a dent in my current bills.

It seems to bother people that now that the electric costs £3 a day to cook a meal, have a shower and have the TV on for two hours, I shouldn't be complaining because one time in the past year I spent £70 in one go on my credit card, when life was cheaper. Currently paying it off at around £2 a month so hardly think I struggle to budget lmao and it's hardly a lifestyle, considering I've been out twice since having my daughter, buy all my clothes at the charity shop, dont drink, smoke, don't watch TV myself much, haven't had a hair cut in three years and don't eat meat.

Like I said before I was only getting an idea of the cost of potential holidays when I believed my income was going to increase and the one I found was under £300 in the end, and no I didn't book it.

Intellizoom pays £6 a test. Usually takes 10 mins and pays straight into your PayPal. My single mum friend does moderating for crisp thinking, also straight into PayPal. Seriously consider it. She does these side hustles when her four year old is in bed.

Is she a good reader? You could try to get her into a good series that you read together? My niece loves Animal Ark, she's 5. We have to help her with a lot of the words so at 3 you'd probably be doing most of it but it's doing wonders for shutting her up her vocabulary and reading skills.

You could also explain how the electric works and get her to help you 'save the pennies' running round turning things off, shut the doors to keep the heat in, help load the washing machine and set it so it comes on at non peak times. Make it exciting like a game, we're being naughty, you should really be in bed but instead we're doing this.

I remember cooking with my nan at gone midnight when I was about 6 because it was cheaper at night. It felt really naughty, sneaking out of bed and cooking jacket potatoes for the next days dinner. Obviously I understand now that it was because she was broke but at the time it just felt like being nanny's little partner in crime and pretending we hadn't eaten half the jelly cubes when making dessert.

It still doesnt add up.

I thought Ukrainian men weren't allowed to leave the country?

And if you have had them staying with you there's no reason you shouldn't have got the £350pcm.

Some of the posters on this thread should hang their heads in shame with some of the comments they have made

In case it has passed some people by bills have/will go up significantly more than what was expected a few months ago

That means that people (including but not only the OP) will have made spending decisions at the start of the year that in hindsight they wouldn’t have done now

All the OP came on and asked for was some advice and she has been dragged about because of something she was THINKING of booking before her situation changed

This is just the start of the crisis. Looks like the lack of empathy has started too

OP you have had some good suggestions on this thread and I will be taking some of them on for myself.

I can’t believe you just said that.

Does she sound like the type of woman who smokes and drinks alcohol?! You’ve read single mum on benefits and ignored all of her other very sensible posts that show genuine concern for her DD and a lot of financial awareness. Such a disgusting stereotype.

“Good luck with the job interview” is also nice and snide.

OP won’t pay Council Tax if not working and claiming benefits