Really stressful explaining to my three year old that we can't afford to put the TV on

[Shelovespawpatrol]

I've got a job interview next week but if I don't get the job, don't know what we are going to do over winter. I checked my daily usage and it costs £3 a day to have the TV on in the background for a couple of hours, have a quick shower each and cook a meal. I've only been paying £34 a month electric until my fixed tariff ended recently and won't be able to afford £90 a month on £550 a month Universal Credit.
I can't afford to take my DD out on the bus to keep her out of the house and she only goes to nursery 15 hours a week. It was okay in the holidays because they gave us a free bus pass so we made it to the beach and trips into town to different parks.
I know it is only a year and she will be at school all week and they have after school clubs, and my job options will open up, but I'm so frustrated and stressed at keeping having to tell her no. She likes watching YouTube which is a lot cheaper than the TV to run, but that stops her playing at the same time and I don't want her absorbed in that. We haven't really got any friends in our new area yet, for her to do play dates with (despite trying!). I know everyone is in the same boat, so I'm not looking for pity, just wanting to vent to those who get it. Really bugged me earlier seeing someone complaining about having no money left after paying for car and children's activities. I can't even give my daughter that right now, despite saving what I could and always looking for job opportunities which fit nursery hours.

Its not the scrimping which bugs me, because I can be quite happy on little and find my own inner happiness, but it's having to deal with the tantrums and my daughter not understanding why things are being taken from her all of a sudden. I don't know what to choose to keep and pay for.

It's really tough at the moment.
I find that doing studies on prolific (found it thanks to the ten pound a day thread on here-definitely worth a look) helps me give my daughter a treat now and again. I do a few surveys whenever I can and it just gives me a bit more money (and I'm talking a small amount)to cope- a cup of tea out here and there or a treat from Amazon or probably in the future being able to have the heater on as a treat 😢
I'm not suggesting this is for you as you may not have the time/energy etc- but just putting it out there.
It's hard so sending sympathy

Really bugged me earlier seeing someone complaining about having no money left after paying for car and children's activities.

YABVU to begrudge hard working families who are struggling. Just because someone is higher in the socioeconomic scale than you does not mean that they have not been adversely affected by changes in the cost of living.

Heaven help us if this is your biggest worry!!
As a young army wife and mother living abroad in a time before YouTube ,the internet etc I had very limited access to tv or nurseries etc .
You need to use your imagination around what you have got instead of fretting over what you haven't got

Anyone who looking forward to getting extra money and immediately thinks of booking a holiday isn't in financial distress ffs.

Not had a holiday in 10 years. IF i was due money due to hosting Ukrainians, I'd be thinking thank christ for that, bit more food this month, not thinking of booking a holiday. So there's clearly lot of other things you can cut before you need to turn the TV off.

Your story isn't adding up frankly.

Sky TV but can't afford to put the TV on. Right t ho.

I live in a two bedroom semi with large bedrooms. They were in one of the double bedrooms and me and my toddler shared my room as she was sleeping with me at the time anyway. It didn't cost me anything to host them as they had their own income for food and bus fares. She went home with a few grand in her pocket from saving the benefits she received. I didn't charge them rent. The Ukrainians situation is neither here nor there to my current predicament. Before they arrived I was using 1-2 kw per day and then that went up to 4-7 kw depending on the day and she paid the difference. However because summer holidays and my savings have run out and my bus pass ran out, we have been at home a lot since they left and I saw I am suddenly using 4 kilowatts per day to have the TV on and for me to cook a gousto box.

Anyway none of it is here nor there because PPS led to to investigate the wattage of the shower and oven and I can see how extortionate they are and I can try to manage that for now.

Thanks to posters suggesting ways to get longer nursery hours. In my area all the nurseries are on waiting lists for full time hours, so I'm hoping to find something part time which fits.

Does anyone know energy costs of a radio or something like Alexa? There are childrens stations, CBeebies radio that kind of thing for background noise rather than a screen when playing.

saw I am suddenly using 4 kilowatts per day to have the TV on and for me to cook a gousto box.

Cook a gousto box. Brilliant. How much is one of them then?!

Do you have a local toy library? That has saved me so much money over the summer. Mine have been so preoccupied by having a ‘new’ toy every week that I haven’t bothered to put the tv on the wall since we moved.

Alexa's vary a lot depending on usage and generation.

That said, at their MOST expensive they are about 30p a day to run all day (24 hours). So 1p an hour is not a bad assumption.

I was looking at a single holiday when I thought my income was going up by 350 a month. This hasn't happened hence me looking for a holiday is irrelevant. I signed up to sky before the cost of living crisis was known about. Like I said before it's only £12 a month so even to be able to cancel it would only cover a fifth of the increase in electricity .

My current income is 550 a month Universal credit plus 21 a week child benefit.

If I had been paid the 350 a month for hosting, yes I would have been able to cover the increase in bills, take my daughter to some activities and afford one holiday for the year. But I wasn't so it is irrelevant now and I'm on my bum until I find a way to bring income in.

It was free....you can look through my old posts and see that I signed up to it via mumsnet.

You can do jacket potatoes, cook chicken (chicken thighs are cheap), spaghetti bolognaise.. all kinds of things in slow cooker. Google it, it's not just 'sloppy' food. I got an air fryer second hand for £15 and I cook most of what I would cook in the oven in that.

If you call Sky and explain you need to leave due to cost of living and not being able to afford it now, they will let you out of your contract early.

Make sure you are claiming all the benefits you're entitled to as £450 a month sounds very low - that wouldn't even nearly cover rent on a one bed flat where I am.

OP while I absolutely sympathise with everyon’es struggle with the cost of living increase, the reality is you’re not doing yourself any favours here.

You have recently been looking for a £1000 holiday, you can afford Gousto, and yet you’re saying the toddler is going to have to go without tv or favourite meals?

A lot of people are genuinely struggling with the cost of living affecting their whole family, but there seems to be this influx of posters who feel the kids should have to go without so the adults don’t have to change their lifestyle.

If. You need to cut then tv is the least of your concerns.

Gousto however which on a TV programme last week was seen to be about 3 times the amount of the actual ingredients, is an unnecessary extravagance which most people can’t afford even when there isn’t a financial crisis.

Not what was asked but we didn't have the to on after school during the week.
They did their spelling, reason, homework and then played.
To was only ever on at weekends.
To in the background is a pointless waste and detracts from play

I agree, I tend to find comments like this quite patronizing.
Plus, not everyone is the same - there were many things my parents couldn’t afford when I was growing up - I hardly ever got the kind of clothes my peers where wearing. I’m not blaming my parents at all, but as soon as I started earning my own money I started spending it on stupid amounts of clothing (not doing it now though).

I think at 3 years old you can easily distract her, put some music on instead if you need background noise. At that age you can occupy them with pretty much anything, I really wouldn't be stressed saying the TV is broken to a 3 year old (I'd obviously feel stressed why I was saying that, I'm not trying to downplay what sounds like a shit situation, just that kids so young really won't care).

It's going to be difficult to find an employer offering flexible hours to fit around your daughter's nursery.
Why not set up as self employed just to bring in some extra money? (in addition to U C) Dog walking services, cleaning, ironing or even leafleting locally will pull in some much needed money with no set up costs and flexibility,, no car required, just put an advert up.

Or take in a lodger if you had the room to host Ukrainians, as already suggested.

You're clearly not reading the full thread because the gousto box was free and I was looking for a holiday when I thought I was going to be paid for hosting ukrainians for a year (4200 for the year) and that hasn't happened. My sky TV is only £12 a month and if I am able to cancel it, I will. I haven't been on holiday, it was a pipe dream, and gousto is a thing of the past. My bills only increased in July so I'm only just feeling how bad things are now after investing time and energy into something I wasn't reimbursed for.

I get 550 a month universal credit after rent is paid (council house) and 21 a week child benefit.

Not really. Nurseries open 7am-6pm generally. Not sure why an employer would need to be flexible if the hours were say 9-5?

She has already advised it was free.

If you get a job then UC will pay up to 85% of the childcare costs to put your DD in nursery for more hours. Then you wouldn't be subject to any benefit cap and you'd be better off too.

Do you have a children's centre or library within walking distance? The activities they put on are a great opportunity for both adults and children to make friends, and the staff may be able to point you in the direction of additional help if it is available. Also, many are going to be 'warm banks' this winter (how utterly depressing that they are needed), so that might save a little on heating.

Op in first post you said your smart meter was broken when you moved in and BG won’t replace yet In the above post you calculated the £50 usage from your smart meter your Ukrainian guests used.