Really stressful explaining to my three year old that we can't afford to put the TV on

[Shelovespawpatrol]

I've got a job interview next week but if I don't get the job, don't know what we are going to do over winter. I checked my daily usage and it costs £3 a day to have the TV on in the background for a couple of hours, have a quick shower each and cook a meal. I've only been paying £34 a month electric until my fixed tariff ended recently and won't be able to afford £90 a month on £550 a month Universal Credit.
I can't afford to take my DD out on the bus to keep her out of the house and she only goes to nursery 15 hours a week. It was okay in the holidays because they gave us a free bus pass so we made it to the beach and trips into town to different parks.
I know it is only a year and she will be at school all week and they have after school clubs, and my job options will open up, but I'm so frustrated and stressed at keeping having to tell her no. She likes watching YouTube which is a lot cheaper than the TV to run, but that stops her playing at the same time and I don't want her absorbed in that. We haven't really got any friends in our new area yet, for her to do play dates with (despite trying!). I know everyone is in the same boat, so I'm not looking for pity, just wanting to vent to those who get it. Really bugged me earlier seeing someone complaining about having no money left after paying for car and children's activities. I can't even give my daughter that right now, despite saving what I could and always looking for job opportunities which fit nursery hours.

Its not the scrimping which bugs me, because I can be quite happy on little and find my own inner happiness, but it's having to deal with the tantrums and my daughter not understanding why things are being taken from her all of a sudden. I don't know what to choose to keep and pay for.

Look up some microwave recipes. Microwave will be the cheapest way to heat food. Jacket potatoes can be done, veggies "boiled" and pasta cooked. If you don't have a microwave, ask on fb there are lots of random acts of kindness pages where people give away stuff they don't want/need.
Also think about quick cooking. Eggy bread, omelettes with veg, beans on toast, tinned soup etc. Hot food done cheaply.

As a side, we grew up quite poor and were in a caravan one christmas as nowhere else to live. I remember my dad cooking a (decent given the circumstances) christmas dinner for 4 in a microwave and on the caravan hob. Possibly one of the better Christmases we've had and certainly the most memorable.

I wouldn't have the TV on "in the backgound", only for specific shows, but agree with others the TV uses a miniscule amount of energy.

It's miserable that people are having to think like this though

Hi, you’ve got lots of great advice on here about the costs so I just wanted to jump
on and say I know exactly how your feeling. I was a single parent and will never forget there feeling of penny watching constantly and the utter loneliness that being a single parent brings with it. I used to go to bed at 8pm along with my daughter so we would be warm together, not use electric and because the nights where so lonely it was just better to sleep.

so what I wanted to say really was that it gets easier down the line, you sound like an amazing Mum and you’ll get through this. My daughter is now 18 and about to go to uni and I am in a great financial position now to be able to provide her with everything she needs. Anyway, hold on tight and good luck, it will all be fine in the long run.

Sorry, no I don't.
I just take it as a rough guidance.

Do you have a Kindle or cheap tablet (we get them at £30 when on offer so second hand should be very cheap).

It is a lot easier for them to understand 'battery has run out' at that age than 'this needs to go off'.

Mine like watching things on I player etc and some of the free apps with colouring and little games

She'd soon accept it's run out of charge.

You can also charge them on buses etc or from car if out and about

Definitely try the slow cooker. You can make stews, soups, broths etc for quite cheap (even without meat to keep the cost down further). If there is only the two of you, I made a beef stew with some dumplings on Sunday. I bought some yellow ticket reduced price stewing steak, bulked up with vegetables, a stock and water - about 5/6 pound and it fed 4 and a baby for 2 days. A lot cheaper than cooking in the oven too. You could freeze portions as I doubt you'd want to eat the same meal for a few days running. I hope you get the job OP - and hopefully truss will do something so you don't have to think like this going forward🤞

Who cares if the OP was looking for a holiday a few weeks ago. We had no idea whether it was a gift from someone etc.

As she’s pointed out, it was going to be paid for out of the refugee ‘thank you’.

I think you could well look for full time work. I’m a single mum of a 3 year old and yes nursery full time is a fortune but I work full time to enable us to do the things you describe

Will ya pull the other one... you can't turn on the tv put you can blow a grand on a holiday with the payments?

Spectacular name fail there.

Really? I'd say its bang on. 3 year olds do not need cartoons droning on in the background all day, whether or not its about money (and since it costs about 10p its not really about money anyway)

Surely your income has increased and your usage of everything decreased if you're no longer hosting Ukrainians? I mean whatever you were spending to help subsidise them, is now for you and your DD. And you'll be using less energy since you no longer have additional people staying with you.

She also knows that they can be recharged...I have a second old phone she uses for games and YouTube but I was using the TV in the background as a compromise to get her off it.

Is this the new £30 kettle?

Hello sweet, really sorry you are having to go through this. I don’t have any suggestions about saving electric but I just thought I would let you know that if you work over the 15 hours free childcare and get a receipt from a certified child minder then universal credit will reimburse you 80% of the extra child care costs you pay. It might help when looking for jobs. Completely understand if extra hours don’t suit you or your little one though x

This only works if you can earn a high enough wage to pay for the fortune that is full-time nursery, and in a job where the working hours are all within nursery opening hours.

I actually can't believe posters think a 3-yr-old wanting background noise from cartoons is an issue during the cost of living crisis. Even if OP hadn't been looking for £1000 holidays last week ... ffs. It makes a complete mockery of the families who are struggling

A 3 year old gets 30 free funded nursery hours if a parent is working enough hours. You don’t need a high wage to be able to cover the remainder. most nurseries open 7/8am-6pm so definitely appropriate hours to suit most jobs besides of course night shifts

Good luck OP. But if you don't get this job, you apply for another one.....

This is so weird.

There's a £350 pcm 'thank you' payment for hosts of Ukrainian refugees but only if they haven't been charging rent.

So either OP had enough money to house them for free. Or has been charging them rent. Either way she's better off than most unemployed single mums.

Also it implies living in a house much bigger than they need. No wonder fuel bills are high!

Thank you. And I definitely am not on holiday after all, am I?
The situation with Ukrainians, when I was looking at holidays was meant to be ongoing and I wouldn't have had the TV/should I use the oven debacle, but she suddenly decided to leave to go back to Ukraine. She also gave me fifty a month towards the electricity she used. I have a smart meter so I was able to calculate how much the kw usage went up and she paid the difference (roughly fifty a month). Before anyone starts she could afford it as her husband was also here working full time on a farm with no rent, and she also got the full benefits and other people sent them clothes and toiletries and baby milk. I never asked her for more than she actually used and I paid all the standing charges, water (non metered) and council tax etc, so them being here or not isn't making any difference to my original post.

The oven is the most expensive item you’ll use . Depending on your food preferences I think you should consider batch cooking and freezing dinners for you both- it saves a fortune and will be dead handy to be in that habit when you go back to work. Curries, stews , bolognaise, that sort of thing. Pasta and rice freeze okay if you do it right. I dont think the telly uses much and I’d have gone mental if I couldn’t leave mine in-front of it each day for a break. You sound like a good mum who’s struggling and I’ve been there many years ago. You get through it and it gets easier as you get more childcare and more opportunity to earn. Don’t freeze or go without , contact your local council for a welfare grant - they’re giving out £250 here ( London borough) it varies though. Also contact your supplier and let them know you’re struggling . Don’t forget we all get £400 over winter in energy and you should have another £300 and something due from COL.
you sound really on the ball and careful which is great but don’t suffer please. This mess will get sorted somehow .

If it was a feature it would have been mentioned

Well, if she has an air frier she can cook a mumsnet chicken and feed them all for a week. ;)

Yes, I thought that too. It was absolutely fair enough.

My local library is going to be used as a warm space this winter and will put on refreshments & activities for people. Look into spending time at your local library for a few hours each day. I'm planning on working remotely from the library this wi yer. I can keep warm and save money during school hours.