Can casual ever become "serious"?

[tetti]

For anyone who's read my recent post(have I lost my marbles!lol),you'll know that I recently started seeing a younger guy on a casual basis.
Now,casual is easier said than done,isn't it,at least for women.

I am a bit confused,a few days ago,before we first went further together,he told me he didn't want to mess me around,but that he didn't want a relationship or anything serious,but if I wanted to talk and more(ehum),that was cool,but up to me.
I thought,that's completely fine by me,I have 3 months ago come out of a 12 year long realtionship,and don't want to get heavy as in moving in with someone for eg.

So ,we met up,talked and had our fun.I sent him a txt saying I was totally cool with it being casual, and then told him to ring me next week if he felt like it,he called the next day!
We met up yesterday and same thing,talking loads,sex,(and loads of cuddles from him!:-)
He was more attentive than before,but that was what got me.
I know soo much about him already,and I don't have to ask any questions about him,he just talks and tells me!
I know all about his childhood,family and life.

This is what I find confusing,if it's so casual,why really bother to get to know everything about the other person?(if you're going to have sex and dissappear a few weeks or months down the line).
Because,surely,the better you get to know eachother,the harder it'll be to let go?

I dk how mens brains work,but I am soo confused.
I am not going to ask-Where is this going?,as we agreed on casual just some days ago,but it's like we got closer after getting into bed!,we actually started to talk more then..
It's doing my head in.I knew I took a great emotional risk by sleeping with him in the first place,but we had been flirting badly for months and months,and the physical attraction was so great I couldn't not take the risk! My head just didn't rule over my body at all,I wanted him and that was it,and had for months.

I do not have any preconcieved ideas here,I do not believe that I can make him fall for me,but have anyone else gone from casual to more "commited"?(not as far as in living together,but in having a relationship)

Oooh I wouldn't have sent a text asking him that....I would have just been confused..

It was a kneejerk reaction,I thought,hang on a min!That's one stupid way to end it(!),but he sent me a txt less than 1 min later,literally laughing his head off at my wrong interpretation.
And I kind of feel good knowing that obviously he did give a monkeys by txting me back as soon as he got my txt!

despite what isadi earlier, it all sounds as though its becoming pretty 'does he doesn't he' for you.

I hope you don't get hurt.

Yep,me too.That's why I'm taking it cool for a few days and not seeing him.I need a little bit of space.With him staying over and not leaving after sex you kind of become a little bit too emotional about things.

Oh no,am starting to lust for him again!What is this?lol.
He was only round here a couple of days ago,it's not like"I want him to come round so I can tell him I love him",cause I don't,it's more like"I want you now!",lol.
Why can't I just switch my hormones off for one day?lol

i tell myself its hormonal and out of my hands

something happens when you get past 30

i believe me anyway

So true...Well,I thought my hormones had gone to sleep forever(ask my ex and he'd gladly testify to that!lol).
But then u meet another guy and,wooops,what happened here then?lol
From never thinking about it at all,it's on my mind all the time (Isound like some boy hitting his puberty here!lol)

lol i know what you mean

So,how do the rest of you "play it" in regards to your casual relationships?
I mean in the sense that"Do you call him,does he call you" or have you agreed on how it works,or do you just play it by ear?
Just wondering,because I really let him do the chasing and calling here,I have never rung him,apart from once when he rang me and I had to call him back a few mins later as I was busy!
He has said I can call,but I just don't want to be too keen.
I do txt him,but not alot,maybe saying-Give us a bell in t week if you feel like it(and then I usually hear from him quite soon!)

I dk,but as he wanted casual,and I agreed,I kind of thought,well,if he wants me,he'll ring me!lol
Don't want him to think I have no life(which I do have,a child,ft work,friends etc etc),clinginess is just such a turn off,but I dk if perhaps I'm playing it too coll?(or is there such a thing?lol)

casual for me meant i would get in touch when i was in the mood lol

haha,well,that means I'll probably have to get in touch w him very soon then!lol

i will just add at this point, that the casual arrangements i had, i am still friends with even tho i ended the arrangements

one of them, as i said became serious and we dated 9 months, and this one now has also gone from casual to exclusive recently

We should be hooking up tomorrow,cool!:-)

lol good luck!

He was knackered after training so it'll be this eve I think:-).
Trying to get my daughter to sleep through the night,argh! She's started school,but when she was poorly a while ago I let her stay in my bed,BIG mistake!
Now she's in her own room again she wakes up about 3 times a night,great for when I get some time w the guy.
It's becoming harder and harder to keep the two separate because of her sleeping patterns.
Spoke to the ex though,he suggested that as she knows the guy and likes him,I should just say-Mummy's friend (name) might be coming around this eve,so in case she hears his voice,she won't be too taken aback!
By me saying he's just just my friend she will not get too attached to him,as my friends,male and female, pop round every now and then and not all the time (as they have kids,jobs etc just like myself),so she'll hopefully come to think of him as just another one of my friends.
It's the only way we can do it.Juggling motherhood versus lovelife is v hard work!

it sure is

my youngest used to wake a lot , but funnily enough when my now exbf used to stay over , he stopped getting up

Going back to.......... Like someone said, back in jan if he doesnt fancy you after yuo've been poking your breasts at him over the counter then he must be either gay or 'lacking'..
haha ...
I have just nearly wet myself reading that

You lucky one,lou33,lol
I sooo wish she'll sleep this eve if he comes round.
Thank god (so far,touch wood!Don't want to jinx it!),she's managed to wake up "after",not "during",if that happened,omg,I don't even want to think about that!
Not that she'd see us,but it'd mean I'd have to dash upstairs to comfort her quicker than lightning!lol

maybe get a lock on your bedroom door?

oh yes 'lacking'

my breasts are stupendous and not in the least bit pendulous.

which can't be said about my bum i am afraid.

lol, i think i made up the 'lacking' bit, for wnat of a better word, 6 months on and him not one jot interested.

knobber

lol i love the word nobber, i'm always calling my new bf that

hi lou, i am jsut off to pick up dd, sorry about yest and the thread about shania, was bit insensitive re the mother thing i thought after i'd posted.

or am i being too much of a worrying knobber

lol i dont know what you are talking about

ok, thats cool! justme being a prat

I am quite confused about the whole situation "the morning after"!

He came round quite late last night as we both had been busy.So we had gr8 sex,again,but,ahem,I get the feeling that maybe no women,or very few has eh"gone south" on him before.And I felt like whoah,maybe I moved abit too quickly there!lol.He seemed so surprised it was unbeliavable.You can kind of tell our age gap there as I (being in my 30's) got a totally more relaxed attitude and am not afraid to ask what he wants etc,I think when you are younger you may feel abit more embarrassed about that,including younger men!

Ok,so we had a sleep and in the morning he got ready to leave b4 my daughter got up.But,she woke up!
As I explained in my post I explained to her that mummy's friend might come round (so that it wouldn't be a chock to her if she saw him here,although she knows we're friends).
She was adamant that she wanted to see him (but was to shy to say -Hello!,although she normally can't stop talking when she sees him).

I just think,maybe now it'll really sink in (in his mind) that I am a mother first and foremost,no such thing as uncomplicated,undisturbed encounters here(as she may wake up at any time and go-Mummy!!!)!lol.

I dk know,I feel really badly attracted to him and we do have a gr8 time,not just in the sack,but in general,but it seems more and more that this will be just that,casual.
Maybe it's just my PMT,my thoughts are always a little bit irrational and overanalyzing then!lol
,but,who knows if I'll see him again,or if I'd just scared him off by being so forward in bed,or him having a little 5 year old looking him in the eye first thing in the morning (thank god he was ready to go then and not in my room!).
Me confused?Just a bit!