Can casual ever become "serious"?

[tetti]

For anyone who's read my recent post(have I lost my marbles!lol),you'll know that I recently started seeing a younger guy on a casual basis.
Now,casual is easier said than done,isn't it,at least for women.

I am a bit confused,a few days ago,before we first went further together,he told me he didn't want to mess me around,but that he didn't want a relationship or anything serious,but if I wanted to talk and more(ehum),that was cool,but up to me.
I thought,that's completely fine by me,I have 3 months ago come out of a 12 year long realtionship,and don't want to get heavy as in moving in with someone for eg.

So ,we met up,talked and had our fun.I sent him a txt saying I was totally cool with it being casual, and then told him to ring me next week if he felt like it,he called the next day!
We met up yesterday and same thing,talking loads,sex,(and loads of cuddles from him!:-)
He was more attentive than before,but that was what got me.
I know soo much about him already,and I don't have to ask any questions about him,he just talks and tells me!
I know all about his childhood,family and life.

This is what I find confusing,if it's so casual,why really bother to get to know everything about the other person?(if you're going to have sex and dissappear a few weeks or months down the line).
Because,surely,the better you get to know eachother,the harder it'll be to let go?

I dk how mens brains work,but I am soo confused.
I am not going to ask-Where is this going?,as we agreed on casual just some days ago,but it's like we got closer after getting into bed!,we actually started to talk more then..
It's doing my head in.I knew I took a great emotional risk by sleeping with him in the first place,but we had been flirting badly for months and months,and the physical attraction was so great I couldn't not take the risk! My head just didn't rule over my body at all,I wanted him and that was it,and had for months.

I do not have any preconcieved ideas here,I do not believe that I can make him fall for me,but have anyone else gone from casual to more "commited"?(not as far as in living together,but in having a relationship)

Almost called everything off yesterday,we had a pregnancy scare the other day,the flipping thing split and I had to get the morning after pill,great!
I just thought-Whoah!This is getting a bit heavy and intense for me!

Have had a bit of a reality check though,and I know I'll just take this for what it is for now.If we get involved eventually ,then so be it,but tbh,I am not counting on it.U never know what's round the corner and I have learned u can't make plans as things never turned out as you thought they would(my attitude stems from my mother passing away unexpectedly some years ago,kind of gives you a different outlook on life!)

just read thru this and I think it was god for you to post and get this all out. When you first meet someone new, you just have no idea where it's going to go. Every man you meet, its goingto be in diferent circumstances, and each man is his own person.

My guess is that he does like you very much, but out the barriers up, as he was cautious, and knew that you have a chuild and he doesnt want you to get 'hung up' on him too quickley. Maybe he needs time to assess how he's feeling abou the whole thing.

That initial excitement you are feeling, is great but scary too, and you may well have thought, ok i can do casual, but that was cos you so badly wanted to get together in the sack. Nothing wrong in that, but there's always going to be chit chat, and tbh it sounds like he really is nervous. is he yougner than you?

Yeah,8 years younger!(yikes!),but has a very mature head on his shoulders.
He's met my daughter before,but that was before we started our "thing",and he really adores her and she really likes him.
That is why I won't let her know that he's around,he comes when she's asleep and goes before she wakes up.
He's great with kids as he's got a v big family,siblings of all ages!!!lol

You are so spot on,I agreed on casual as I wanted him so badly,I felt I desperately needed to get him out of my system as the attraction to him was so unbelivably great,and tbh,I had wanted to bed him ever since I first laid my eyes on him (and I'm normally not like that).
It was like as if I had totally lost control of my senses and thought-Sod the
consequences,I neeeeed this man!lol)

It feels so weird that after having had no sexdrive what soever for the past few years(every time my ex tried it on I felt repulsed!),now I'm like a dog on heat,and I hate it!lol.I am so used to being in control over every aspect of my life,hence the emotional turmoil I am going through right now...

8 years isn't much of an age gap tho..just see how it goes

Yep,I am really trying to keep it cool right now,I'll just wait for him to call me.Having said that,if he hasn't been in touch in a few days I'll probably send a txt-Baby,come over now!!!!!!,lol.

ha well it's easy enough being cool and not doing the contacting if he is contacting you all the time...it's when he doesn't that you are tempted to

good luck

my god i can relate to the sex drive thing!

I thought my bits had given up, after bad birth, and splitting with dh, and we had had no lust for a few yrs.

Then i had a one 'weekend' stand with someone, and my god i was like a different person!!! I couldn't belive it!!

8yrs is fine tho, isn't it ( says she who has shagged someone last year 13 yrs my junior!!)

Oh yes!It's when they don't that you start to feel very tempted indeed!lol

It was hilarious when I casually said-Oh,u can ring me some time nxt week if u feel like it!,then he rings in the middle of the morning,well,3 am the next day I think,and had the chock of his life when I answered the phone! I think he kind of expected just to hear my voice on the vm,and sounded flabbergasted when I when I went-Hi Ya!(lol)
I had dozed off on the settee which the phone in my pocket,or else I'd never had answered it.:-)

the guy i am er seeing is 19 years younger than me...

Hahaha,you go girl!(pirate girl),it's a great ego boost,isn't it?
It is so great to have one's sexdrive back again,my friends who doesn't know I am seeing him(a few knows,but only the closest mates) say-You look different,blooming!,lol.
Well,I feel like saying,I better after having had a fake tan, and all the diy beauty treatments in the world!lol.

Well,you know how it is,if you've only been with one man for sooo many years,you just stop caring about your appearance as you know they'll want to sleep with you even if you've look like hell and got hairy legs!haha
I got foot treatments,St Tropez tan to hide the old imperfections (couldn't afford Botox and veneers though to get a Hollywood smile,haha,nor could I get a boobjob to inflate my Kate Moss flat chest,but hey,he soon made me forget about all my flaws,great!lol).I have actually started to shave my legs again on a regular basis!lol

i think you win zippi. I have missed out on something here havent I?? When did yo meet, or am i just not up on the goss!!

oh, i forgot, i had a grope with someone who was 19, last year i was 37. He was totally not going to take no for an answer, i told him how old i was lol. ah well!! you stil win zippi tho!!

god zippi, i have to catch up and exchange young man info

mine has been with me since saturday lol

One forgets how it's like to be with a younger guy,I couldn't see him every day,I'd be too shattered!lol
With the ex it was 5 mins,with this guy 3 hours,and you think,omg!!!
I am still tired since Mond,I'm getting old!

he is just casual lol..suits me at the mo..met him a few weeks ago ..I don't think i can cover up my deficiencies with fake tan tho pmsl

10yr 9month age gap here

I'd actually prefer a less than 20 year age gap tho...so someone over 35 at least lol..just can't find anyone

I just can't believe that I've actually slept with the guy I've fantasised about for soo long,never saw that on coming!(I never thought that it'd be more than just that,a fantasy)
I don't think I would've felt as much for some guy I'd just met in a bar for example,but as I fancied this guy something rotten for soo long before we hooked up,it kind of intensifies things,doesn't it?

yes it does, i had a complete thing for a bloke back in oh, january, don't know if anyone remembers post office man pmsl. I think if i had ever got to bed him, I would have backed out as i'd fancied him so long.

mn is like a bloody online bridget jones diary

lol pirate i remember!

i have no idea what i saw him now lol. Well he is good looking but I'd prob have eaten him alive, had i got the chance.
maybe thats why he wasn't interested !!!

lol i dunno, some men like the idea!

yes absolutely, thats the type I need, not one who really looks scared!!

My mothering instinct must have kicked in on that one. I now think he's a bit wet.

Like someone said, back in jan if he doesnt fancy you after yuo've been poking your breasts at him over the counter then he must be either gay or 'lacking'..
haha

Hahahaha,very true!

Omg,he really got me going for a minute!
I sent him some website links,and he replied-Thank's honey,enjoy life!!!

I thought,what?!,and sent him a txt saying-What was that,I take it I will not see u again then!

He sent another txt-No you silly!lol,Enjoy life is just my motto!xxxx
Is that the age barrier,we use different languáge!haha