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Original poster

I don't want my baby

246 replies

probablylateagain · 24/12/2020 08:27

How can I give him away? Is there a way someone will take him today? He has everything to take with him. I don't want him. I am sick of him. He is 5 months, who do I get to take him. I can't do this anymore

OP posts:
Nanniss · 24/12/2020 13:59

Fantastic - well done for asking for help and it's great to hear you have some support now.

justanotherneighinparadise · 24/12/2020 14:00

Bless you OP. You sound like you need sleep. My second DC would let me sleep for 6 months and I honestly nearly lost my mind. Hang in there 💐

Ruddyfedup · 24/12/2020 14:01

Good on you. Its hard, i 100% get what you meant. DD was an awful baby, she slept through, granted BUT i dreaded getting out of bed every. Damm. Day. I had to almost pin her down every 3 hours to pour milk down her, that would take 2 hours then id be starting all over again an hour later. DP came home to me crying DS7 crying and me wailing we should never of had her and why cant we give her away. Yes, i had dp but he was out 12 hours a day and i was left juggling 2 kids and the animals and not end up shutting myself in a cupboard. It does get better. I weaned DD early and it made such a difference to her, much happier and settled

Qcumber · 24/12/2020 14:03

So happy to read your update. Sounds like you've taken some great steps already. Things feel so much easier when you're honest with people who love you. You sound like a great mum doing your best in a difficult situation. Keep going, one day at a time, and soon things will be easier x Merry Christmas

Baboutheocelot · 24/12/2020 14:04

If you’re in Lancashire it might be useful to know that there is a specialist mother and baby unit in Chorley. You could ask your GP about this when they phone you for your appointment. I went to one when I had post natal depression and they were amazing, they offered lots of different ways to help.
There is help for you out there, you shouldn’t have to fight for it, but please believe that things will get better.

Mooey89 · 24/12/2020 14:06

Hi Op,
I had PND and you sound just like me. Can you call your local perinatal mental health team? Around here they have a great support with nursery nurses. Take care of yourself.

Christmashottubintheshed · 24/12/2020 14:06

Well done op! Everyone needs help sometimes and you’ve done well to recognise that you did and take the steps to get it.

My ds had reflux and it was hell. He was sick after every feed until he was one but because he was putting on weight as expected, nobody seemed very concerned. He also used to get badly constipated and had to take something called movicol to help him, we had endless problems with his stomach until he reached his first birthday and it all seemed to magically settle itself but I wouldn’t wish that year on my worst enemy. Sending Flowers. You will get through this and it gets easier I promise. My ds is 11 now, you’ve got so much happiness with your son ahead of you.

Thegrinchshorriblesister · 24/12/2020 14:08

Ah I’m so glad you’ve got support Flowers

ISeeTheLight · 24/12/2020 14:08

Brilliant update OP. More than happy to give more info on our CMPA and silent reflux (GORD) experience.

Willow4987 · 24/12/2020 14:22

Oh op I’ve just read your thread and really feel for you

I sincerely hope you get the help you need for yourself and your DS soon

Just a couple of things....you’ve said the HV brushed you off about DS not pooing regularly and it being fine. While that might be the case you know him best and if you think he’s uncomfortable then you need to speak to a GP instead. My Ds was the same and I was also brushed off by the HV but I knew it wasn’t right. Saw a GP and after a couple of suppositories and 2 weeks of lactulose he was fixed and hasn’t had an issue since

Also both my DS have had silent reflux and infant gaviscon has made a whole world of difference

DS1 was a clingy baby and would cry if I wasn’t holding him so he went in a sling a lot - is this an option for you? Just means you can have your hands free etc

The lack of sleep must be absolutely killing you. But I promise it will get better. Hopefully you can get the support you need from the Gp for any medical things for your son and he finally gets some more sleep so that you can get some rest too.

It must be so hard for you and as PP suggest you might have PND which is hardly surprising after what you’ve described

Please please please don’t be fobbed off. You need help and support

Sending you love

DoubleHelix79 · 24/12/2020 14:25

Both DH and I took 6 months off when DD was born. Despite there being two of us we were still very close to breaking point for the first few months. I'm sure we looked fine from the outside, but we were really not.

Don't think everyone else is fine - there are some babies who sleep OK and are easy to manage, but I'd bet most parents know what it feels like to have absolutely nothing left to give.

Please reach out to someone. You'll be surprised how supportive people can be once you admit you need help. I'd gladly look after someone's baby for a few hours if I knew they were struggling, even if I didn't know them that well.

AliasGrape · 24/12/2020 14:27

Well done OP, I’m so pleased you’re getting some support. It was so brave of you to post and even more so to reach out in real life, I hope on the near future you’ll be able to look back and give yourself credit for how brave you’ve been and what a good mum it makes you.

I also want to mention this organisation- I’m sorry I can’t see if it’s already been mentioned, may be worth a look going forward just to give you a little support with more practical things www.home-start.org.uk/

lipsticklovley · 24/12/2020 14:37

OP, it's made me teary with gladness that you're ok, despite being total strangers, I genuinely wish you and your little one all the very best x

allhappeningatonce · 24/12/2020 14:53

I hope you have a really peaceful next few days and a much better 2021. You are so worthwhile, you've done amazing keeping it together by yourself in this hard hard year. There are better days to come 💙💙💙

grey12 · 24/12/2020 14:56

TEETHING!!! Give paracetamol

mummyslittlenightmare · 24/12/2020 15:03

12 months ago, I was you.

She is my first baby and because of the hell I experienced in those first few months she will probably be my last.

Phone 111 - say you are not coping with your baby and you need help now.

I wish I lived near you, I would happily take your baby for a couple of days to help you because my god I wish I had someone to do that for me back then. My heart breaks for you it honestly does. Please update us all

mummyslittlenightmare · 24/12/2020 15:06

Sorry OP I just read the update. Well done!

One day you will look back at this and see how far you've come!

Merry Christmas too you and your little one.

evenmoreforthemoor · 24/12/2020 15:06

I could have been you.

Then I went to a cranionosteopath and she was better.

Worth a try.

Things will change. It will get better. Well done for getting help.

bloodywhitecat · 24/12/2020 15:20

Well done OP, as a foster mum I am so glad you found the strength and courage to reach out to a friend. I hope 2021 is a better year for you Flowers

bossyboo · 24/12/2020 15:23

That's so good to read. Well done for reaching out I know how hard it is but keep reaching out. Lots of mums struggle and just pretend all is well but people do care. Here's to a better 2021for you and your baby x

Littleyell · 24/12/2020 15:24

@mummyslittlenightmare

12 months ago, I was you.

She is my first baby and because of the hell I experienced in those first few months she will probably be my last.

Phone 111 - say you are not coping with your baby and you need help now.

I wish I lived near you, I would happily take your baby for a couple of days to help you because my god I wish I had someone to do that for me back then. My heart breaks for you it honestly does. Please update us all

This is lovely. There’s good people in this world. I hope OP has called for support so many us can relate.
binkyblinky · 24/12/2020 15:28

Keep going OP. You can do this. Thinking of you, whoever and wherever you are. Xxx

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 24/12/2020 15:37

OP I'm so happy to read your update, I've been thinking about you all day.

You'll get through this and once ds starts walking and talking it will get so much easier mentally
Physically you'll be as fit as Mo Farah !
Merry Christmas z

ByersRd · 24/12/2020 15:37

Wishing you well and well done for asking for support.
Please continue to do that either here or elsewhere.

Long term a support network is important.

Have a restful Christmas with your baby.

Pregnancyhell · 24/12/2020 15:52

Hi OP

Social worker and mum to a 1 yr old here .

I do hope you and baby are ok. I'm so pleased you were able to reach out to someone, that isn't an easy thing to do and I hope you are able to get some rest.

Please think about contacting SS for support. Parenting is soooo hard and this year has been unspeakably hard for so many people. SS would be able to support you and no one would judge you. In fact it would be seen as a massive show of strength and courage to make the phone call.

I really do wish you a happy Christmas. Please try and get some rest if you can.

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