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Original poster

Support for essbee 2

423 replies

anorak · 26/09/2004 10:51

Here it is...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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bobbby · 30/10/2004 02:14

found you now, sorry for being so dumb

essbee · 30/10/2004 02:14

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nikkim · 30/10/2004 02:16

I am only asking as my ex h was extremely unpleasant during our relationship and yet i still loved him and we used to go our seperate ways and then drift back together and so it went on for years. When we separated the last time I still wanted him back for almsot a year even though he had treated me and my dd awfully. It is now about two and a half years and I ahve completely moved on.

essbee · 30/10/2004 02:16

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nikkim · 30/10/2004 02:17

It is very hard if you have given someone 11 years ( is that right) I was with ex for 9 as they have become part of you. But maybe moving on is what you need to do.

PuffTheMagicDragon · 30/10/2004 02:17

The thing is its so easy for us to give advice to others, but when you're in the middle of your own difficulties its not so clear cut.

essbee · 30/10/2004 02:18

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PuffTheMagicDragon · 30/10/2004 02:19

You did the right thing by asking him to go before you crumbled.

turquoise · 30/10/2004 02:19

Well done for finding that strength. From the sounds of what you've been going through, I don't know how you did it.
Did he give any kind of explanation along with his apology?

essbee · 30/10/2004 02:20

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nikkim · 30/10/2004 02:20

I was the same, wanting the good kid man back but sometimes when there has been so much unpleasantness the scales have tipped and you can't go back.

I still have some lovely memories of my ex and still (very rarely it has to be said) have those if only thoughts but they are just memories and maybe need to stay that way,

nikkim · 30/10/2004 02:20

meant good kind man!!! not kid although he acts like a flippin kid a freudian slip I feel

PuffTheMagicDragon · 30/10/2004 02:21

Do you feel like you've fallen back, he's opened up all you feelings for him again?

essbee · 30/10/2004 02:21

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PuffTheMagicDragon · 30/10/2004 02:21

sorry, there's meant to be a because in there!

nikkim · 30/10/2004 02:21

Of course it is easy for us to give advice, like I said I wanted my ex back even after everything I had done.

essbee · 30/10/2004 02:22

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essbee · 30/10/2004 02:23

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PuffTheMagicDragon · 30/10/2004 02:24

I think the important thing is to try not to put youself under pressure because of this apology and conversation. Give yourself to put it into perspective and the bigger picture.

nikkim · 30/10/2004 02:24

Maybe you just need to admit those feelings are there but that you still need to move on. If you loved someone once that never goes 100% away, I know it hasn't in my case however much i wish it would.

I just think of all the times I went back to my ex as a setback in my life I could be so much further ahead if I had left him the first time.

essbee · 30/10/2004 02:25

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essbee · 30/10/2004 02:27

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nikkim · 30/10/2004 02:27

I do feel for you essbee and hope I am not coming across as lecturing. I had been apart form my dp for about ten months when he told me he loved still loved me and thought he wanted me back. I still loved him and like you hated being alone and I was desperate for my dd to ahve a normal family. I thought at the time I was over him but realised it wasn't the case if there was a chance we could work it out. It was hard but looking back now i am glad I didn't go back.

essbee · 30/10/2004 02:28

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nikkim · 30/10/2004 02:29

I don't know you well enough essbee to say if there is any hope, but if you are to get back togther it may be a hard journey that doesn't take you to where you want to go.