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Lone parents

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Original poster

how long have you been a single parent?

311 replies

AMAZINWOMAN · 06/07/2007 19:41

ive been a single parent now for oevr 7 years
i chose to be alone

i cant imagine myself being settled again and sharing the parenting responsibility-its been so long

but i dont want to be alone for the rest of my life! im worried that i will be though as we are very close and for someone to come in our lives it would affect the dynamics

OP posts:
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skyatnight · 16/07/2007 22:33

Sorry to hear it might be over, zookeeper. You'll be ok, it will just take a while.

charliecat · 16/07/2007 22:41

Aww zookeeper, im recently alone. Its ok, its nice not to argue...or wonder how the atmosphere will be when you get in.
xx

lou33 · 17/07/2007 01:22

oh zookeeper i'm sorry, you will find good support on here if you need it

sky, i wish !

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 09:44

being single sucks!!!!

My thought for the day!

allgonebellyup · 17/07/2007 12:37

i guess that although i am on my 2nd "potential" fling, its kind of an internet affair so is doomed for failure!!!

Hes sent me lots of pics, one of which he looks really fit and the other 3 he looks not so amazing but still ok. Have spoken on the phone and texted etc but yet to meet in the flesh, which i am absolutley dreading, its this weekend! god i just know it will be awful, i know he wont look as good as he does in the nice photo and i will have to pretend to be polite for the afternoon but really wanting to run away!
should i even turn up??

allgonebellyup · 17/07/2007 12:38

absolutely

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 12:40

get a friend to text you and if his awful then you can say your friend has texted you she has gone into labour and your needed to look after her kids! and if his nice you can simply text back yes his yummy text me again in abit just incase i get bored!

allgonebellyup · 17/07/2007 12:45

Fab plan! Will deffo do that!

(He has got this idea in his head that we will spend ALL day together and have lunch, go out on a boat etc, when i just wanna scream "what if i dont fancy you????????? i want to run away!!")
i am also dreading that he is v short and as he is couple of yrs younger than me i will tower over him and look like his mother!

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 12:59

rofl!!

Oh the wonderful world of dating! Theres me worrying about being on my own not thinking i have to go through all that crap yet!

Just for reference when i start dating again everyone on mn is having my mobile number to text me! no way am i getting stuck with a boring short arse!

Listmaker · 17/07/2007 13:13

I was a single parent for 5 years bar a few flings that made me definitely think it wasn't worth the hassle! I had come to terms with the fact that a big true love thing wasn't for me and was very happy in my little world with my 2 dds as many of you have described.

But I was tempted into online dating but in a completely half-hearted way and had one date with a man who turned out to be amazing and fantastic and at the age of 42 and 49 we got married (3 months ago) and it's all great!

That's not to say there aren't times when I long for the old quiet routine of the 3 of us (dh has 3 dds, 2 of whom live with us full time and one lives with us every other week so it's busy!!).

So there are really good men out there who come back 'on the market' occasionally and if you can meet one of them then it's great. Unfortunately you usually have to kiss a lot of frogs on the way!

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 13:18

How fantastic and many congratulations x

Problem is i dont like frogs

Listmaker · 17/07/2007 13:24

Thanks Sugar! I'm still amazed by it!

I too had sworn off the frogs too before I met dh!! You should have seen my profile on the dating site - talk about stroppy and negative!! I was so fed up with being messed about etc.

I guess it's just the triumph of optimism over experience that sent me on that date but I knew from before I met him really that he was different. He could never mess anyone about as he's just so damned NICE!! Now in the past that might not have been my type but I was determined to change my ways!

He had been married for 22 years and totally faithful and his wife left him for someone else! I was his first attempt at dating (always slightly annoys me that he's never had to suffer the torment of single parent dating mind you ). So I checked out his credentials carefully before meeting him! I wasn't prepared to take anymore crap!

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 13:27

maybe thats my problem. Only been 4 weeks but im a miserable cow already! Time of month doesnt help just want to damage mens organs right now!!!

Has dh got a younger brother??

allgonebellyup · 17/07/2007 13:33

"just want to damage mens organs right now" !!

lol lol

Listmaker · 17/07/2007 13:34

Afraid not!!

Nothing wrong with concentrating on you and all those dcs for a while!! For the first year I was adamant I was completely uninterested, then I had a couple of years of rubbish flings and then a year of being completely off the whole idea really. So you've got a long way to go!!

No relationship is definitely better than rubbish ones that make you feel crap!

allgonebellyup · 17/07/2007 13:50

it can happen in any way though! theres not a set amount of time before you meet someone!

i left my dd's dad and then met dh after only 5 months on my own (and several yummy flings).He was great with my dd and we married a year later.

(sad that we have just grown apart now though, we did last 6yrs)

Listmaker · 17/07/2007 13:52

Yeah it's just a matter of luck really I guess. You could meet someone at any time or not at all. I'm just jealous of my dh meeting someone as fab as me straight away like that .

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 15:10

sounds every hopeful! 1 minute i cant wait to be with someone the next i want to be on my own for always!

Kewcumber · 17/07/2007 15:14

I have alwasy been a single paretn because I chose to be so I don;t have some of the baggage that sadly goes with it.

But as listmaker didn't quite say (but close enough) - you've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your frog

allgonebellyup · 17/07/2007 16:10

Am getting slightly aware of getting older now (am 28) as my sister says once you get past 30/35 nobody will really be interested. So i have got a couple of years before my hope dies for good!
Has anyone ever heard of blokes being interested in women with 2 (or even more!!) children once they are late 30s?
i cant imagine going out on dates once i get to that age!

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 16:28

thanks hun im 34 with 6 kids

allgonebellyup · 17/07/2007 16:37

OMG sorry!! i have such a big mouth.
Do you really have 6 children????
wow, i take my hat off to you..

bratnav · 17/07/2007 16:44

2 and a half years until 4 months ago

I have to admit it was very very hard to let someone into my family, he had to work like a trojan to gain my trust

Kewcumber · 17/07/2007 16:48

and I'm 42 so apparently absolutely no hope for me....

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 16:55

lol bellyup. i dont look like a mum of 6 fully clothed anyway!!

last time me and h seperated i managed to have 2 short relationships but ended at my request. 1 was a copper who was happy to re locate to where i lived but i did only have 5 kids then!!

so i know it can happen just in a cant be bothered mood at the mo.

Know i cant trust ex again but still not ready to completely let go i guess.