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Lone parents

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I'm going to get slaughtered for this, I bet

232 replies

satyricon · 02/07/2007 14:01

I'm brand new on the site. I'm not even sure why I'm here, in fact. But the message boards seem so friendly and supportive, so I thought I'd try my question. Bear in mind that I'm a guy and therefore clearly quite dim.

My partner and I split up about 6 months ago. She had miscarried a month or two before and after that, everything changed. She didn't want to be around me, didn't want support or company, just wanted to be alone. Finally she told me she was moving away and she didn't love me any more. It was a terrible experience, and it's taken me a while to come to terms with it. I suspect I might never see her again. Certainly, the last time we spoke, that was how she was feeling. I've tried very hard and I do understand that what she's doing is trying to do is to rub that part of her life out... and that means me.

OK, so that doesn't make me a lone parent. Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

This question's going to sound pretty humdrum after all the stuff I've just said, but her goes. How do you get back into dating and the whole scene? It's been a long time and I'm totally clueless. And what makes it worse is that I was a real social vulture before all this. Going back to the clubs and bars I used to hang out in just seems a little meaningless and dull. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Am I just a bit of a freak?

OP posts:
satyricon · 03/07/2007 14:24

Rosa... if one can write, one is allowed a little latitude with the rules. Besides, I've never tried to write while cradling a little person, so you're alright by me.

talcy, Cat... I'm not a real man, so I fear you'd be sadly disappointed.

Wisteria... which album?

OP posts:
SurferRosa · 03/07/2007 14:27

Oh. oops.

thought you meant that pixies one.

And girls, he's out of my league I think. So please feel free!

Just to add, on the way out, that my only credentials at present are an IQ of 135 and really temporarily enormous breasts. So you aren't missing anything.

Wisteria · 03/07/2007 14:28

This Mortal Coil - Blood, there was a mention on a pixies website that I was trying to cut n paste for KC.
Actually heard Zane Lowe play Mr Somewhere the other day and nearly fainted, then forgot to order it but thanks to you and your post I have remembered!

SurferRosa · 03/07/2007 14:28

Sorry cross posts satyr!

arghhhhhhh

Wisteria · 03/07/2007 14:29

SR - how do you know what he looks like? (already got all the pixies ones xx)

Kewcumber · 03/07/2007 14:29

Surfer - try testing your IQ on an American site, it mysteriously increases by about 10 points! True!

CatIsSleepy · 03/07/2007 14:32

satyricon, you misunderstand me, i don't much care if you're a real man or not i just wanted to lock talcy in a cupboard!
sorry talcy

SurferRosa · 03/07/2007 14:32

Brilliant! No it was only that stupid test the nation thing a few years ago. I felt rather clever.

Wisteria, I have no idea. Attractive in terms of what I gather from posts...

I always like ugly blokes anyway. Gordon Brown is particularly delicious.

Wisteria · 03/07/2007 14:33

SurferRosa - you need to get out more!

minorityrules · 03/07/2007 14:33

So if a woman came on and said she had a miscarriage and her relationship failed would she be accused of ulterior motives? Or would she be welcomed and shown empathy

Or how about same situation in a lesbian relationship?

Just because he is a man it is seen suspicious?

Bit unfair people

Tinkerbel5 · 03/07/2007 14:33

Gordon Brown, hmmmmm not bad

talcy0 · 03/07/2007 14:33
CatIsSleepy · 03/07/2007 14:34

talcy love i already let you out

SurferRosa · 03/07/2007 14:35

W - don't I just!

talcy0 · 03/07/2007 14:35
DonutBouvier · 03/07/2007 14:36

agree back there with surfer - it's nice to read well written and eloquent postings, so satyricon is very welcome here.

Tinkerbel5 · 03/07/2007 14:37

so who's in the closet then, I mean the wardrobe, lol

Wisteria · 03/07/2007 14:38

Well you've no excuse - you presumably have a bike! And with your fab taste in music must have loads of lovely mates - hoping they're not all Gordon Brown lookalikes though

MamaMaiasaura · 03/07/2007 14:42

minority - not unfair cos she would proably be looking for support in direct relation to the miscarraige not for advice of how to get back into dating again.

satyricon · 03/07/2007 14:43

Jeez Louise. Gordon Brown is a sex symbol around here? It seems Scarface was right after all.

'First you get de money, THEN you get de women.'

OP posts:
Tinkerbel5 · 03/07/2007 14:46

he is one of those 'would but shouldnt' guys.

SurferRosa · 03/07/2007 14:56

It isn't the money, Satyr. It's something to do with his gravitas.

I don't know, probably just reminds me of my dad.. shallow psychology I have...

fireflyfairy2 · 03/07/2007 16:06

Gordon Brown??? Eeuurrggghhh

And to think dh threatened me with divorce because I said i'd like to try Peter Kay for size

fwiw, I like reading Satyricon's posts He's got a good grasp on grammar, that usually goes down well around here

mojosmum · 03/07/2007 17:04

i gave up posting when things started to get quite aggressive but feel that if you have a problem with men of any kind openly [as he could easily of lied about his situation but he didnt] joining this site then you dont have to comunicate with them.

i think its so sad that some one is being treated this way this man has obviously been hurt & had he been a women everyone would of been simperthetic [sorry cant spell] & offered there help so why should it be any different because hes a man?????

Klaw · 03/07/2007 17:05

Satyricon, I'm not a lone parent but I was one when I met my dp 8 years ago.

We both went to see live Blues and Rock music, that is what brought us together. Decide what it is that is important to you and what you would like to be able to share with a partner and then go find a place where you can meet others that share these interests.

You don't believe that you can get back with your ex? What do you want? If you do want her back then you have to let her go if she's to come back to you at all. Which it sounds like you have done, but you'll need to gently let her know that you are still there, if she wants you. Don't be strong and stiff upper lipped about your grief, let her know that you grieve too but also just listen to her grief, unconditionally.

Or it's maybe to late for all that?...

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