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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

I'm going to get slaughtered for this, I bet

232 replies

satyricon · 02/07/2007 14:01

I'm brand new on the site. I'm not even sure why I'm here, in fact. But the message boards seem so friendly and supportive, so I thought I'd try my question. Bear in mind that I'm a guy and therefore clearly quite dim.

My partner and I split up about 6 months ago. She had miscarried a month or two before and after that, everything changed. She didn't want to be around me, didn't want support or company, just wanted to be alone. Finally she told me she was moving away and she didn't love me any more. It was a terrible experience, and it's taken me a while to come to terms with it. I suspect I might never see her again. Certainly, the last time we spoke, that was how she was feeling. I've tried very hard and I do understand that what she's doing is trying to do is to rub that part of her life out... and that means me.

OK, so that doesn't make me a lone parent. Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

This question's going to sound pretty humdrum after all the stuff I've just said, but her goes. How do you get back into dating and the whole scene? It's been a long time and I'm totally clueless. And what makes it worse is that I was a real social vulture before all this. Going back to the clubs and bars I used to hang out in just seems a little meaningless and dull. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Am I just a bit of a freak?

OP posts:
satyricon · 02/07/2007 16:54

I feel like a new man already.

Sadly, I have also realised that a 31-year-old git like me is probably too fusty for all the delectable mid-twenties yummies who populate the site, so I shall sit quietly back and immerse myself in the female mind.

OP posts:
BigGitDad · 02/07/2007 16:56

I also warn you this site is very addictive!

SurferRosa · 02/07/2007 16:58

33 here, and not the eldest I assure you !

mojosmum · 02/07/2007 16:59

31s not only my dds dad is 41 but he needs some parenting lessons from some of the men on here

mojosmum · 02/07/2007 17:00

ment to say 31 is not old

MascaraOHara · 02/07/2007 17:00

Internet and speed dating are good fun

Beetroot · 02/07/2007 17:02

BGD do you really think it is addictive for a 31 year old single man without kids - surely there is very little for someone like that here - apart from some female attention

jeremyvile · 02/07/2007 17:05

Agree with BGD.

Its a great place for learning about relationship issues etc and as its mostly populated by women, i can see how for men it must be fascinating.

I only wish there was a male alternative that we could infiltrate

And no, poker, porn and motoring sites just dont cut it!

satyricon · 02/07/2007 17:05

The very fact that I'm surrounded by women is, in itself, reason enough. But the fact that I might actually be useful to women, especially as I can't do DIY, is irresistible.

OP posts:
mojosmum · 02/07/2007 17:08

a male perspective is always usful even if he cant do DIY as most of us single mums have had to learn to do the DIY ourselfs

BigGitDad · 02/07/2007 17:25

jeremyvile, I think there is no male equivilent because most men cannot be bothered to get involved in something like this.
HappyDaddy made a comment last week about men not being able to comunicate well with each other. I kind of disagree with that. Certainly in the group of friends I hang around with we talk about our lives etc. I think men can talk about things but choose not to. It is not the same as being unable to.
I hope I am not going off course here.

mojosmum · 02/07/2007 17:30

I find that alot of men cant or wont comunicate with women thats why they are so many relationship brake ups

jeremyvile · 02/07/2007 17:31

So if most men can 'talk' but choose not to, then why do some choose to?

I would have thought that the only guys who would be interested in MN would be parents...that that would be what drew them in in the first place, but.....and please dont take offence, as none is intended.... i have noticed that the few guys on here dont post an awful lot on parenting issues, so what is different about guys who post on MN?

satyricon · 02/07/2007 17:36

Perhaps they've found a community that is relatively on-judgmental and allows them to broach issues with an openness and honesty that they might find more difficult amongst people they knew.

OP posts:
satyricon · 02/07/2007 17:38

That's obviously non. Non-judgmental.

OP posts:
mojosmum · 02/07/2007 17:39

satyricon - please dont take it personally as i hope you understand as most of us on this thread are single mums we have been hurt by men & can be very weary

jeremyvile · 02/07/2007 17:39

Spose that goes for us all then, just wondered if the reasons might be somewhat dfferent for men.

jeremyvile · 02/07/2007 17:41

Actually, i was referring to BGD.

So no, absolutely dont take it personally.

BigGitDad · 02/07/2007 17:43

You are right about the posting jerermyvile. I guess the reason I do not post on parenting issues is beacuse I tend to read and learn from them. However if I thought I had something to offer then I would post something.
My wife got me into this site with morningpaper and her comments a while back. Since then I have been hooked.

mojosmum · 02/07/2007 17:44

ok will butt out & leave now sorry

jeremyvile · 02/07/2007 17:51

Oh ok.
Its wierd cos I'm always reading out snippets to dp, you know funny or annoying things etc and i know he's genuinely interested, he's always asking for updates on certain threads. I've said to him he should join but he wont, he absolutely refuses, in fact he wont even have a look despite being interested! I think he's cutting off his nose to spite his face just cos its called MumsNet.
I bet theres quite a lot of men who would find MN very interesting but just wont give into temptation

jeremyvile · 02/07/2007 17:51

Mojosmum?

BigGitDad · 02/07/2007 17:52

What is different about me? Hmmmm... I don't know. dare I say it I enjoy Womens conversation. When I was at college I had a lot of female friends and enjoyed their company for what they were. In a way I see a bit of that here. I still keep in touch with a few from college but they are now married and life has moved on. I do miss them still as well you would with any good friends.

Cappuccino · 02/07/2007 17:54

excuse me for being the spanner in the works

but like you said, what are you doing here if you haven't got any kids?

BigGitDad · 02/07/2007 17:55

Shame about your husband jeremy as this site I think is hilarious! It is what keeps me coming back for more.
Maybe he does not want to be involved because it is your thing and as such wants to leave well alone.

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