I'm going to get slaughtered for this, I bet

[satyricon]

I'm brand new on the site. I'm not even sure why I'm here, in fact. But the message boards seem so friendly and supportive, so I thought I'd try my question. Bear in mind that I'm a guy and therefore clearly quite dim.

My partner and I split up about 6 months ago. She had miscarried a month or two before and after that, everything changed. She didn't want to be around me, didn't want support or company, just wanted to be alone. Finally she told me she was moving away and she didn't love me any more. It was a terrible experience, and it's taken me a while to come to terms with it. I suspect I might never see her again. Certainly, the last time we spoke, that was how she was feeling. I've tried very hard and I do understand that what she's doing is trying to do is to rub that part of her life out... and that means me.

OK, so that doesn't make me a lone parent. Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

This question's going to sound pretty humdrum after all the stuff I've just said, but her goes. How do you get back into dating and the whole scene? It's been a long time and I'm totally clueless. And what makes it worse is that I was a real social vulture before all this. Going back to the clubs and bars I used to hang out in just seems a little meaningless and dull. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Am I just a bit of a freak?

Kewcumber that's just your musical taste, not necessarily your age - they have been around since the mid 80's!

so I'm ruled out of finding love because I was uncool in my 20's instead (were they cool?) I was more into Kirsty McColl and Everything but the Girl (well Tracy Thorne solo then)

www.emusic.com/album/The-Pixies-Doolittle-MP3-Download/10764525.html

You may have heard track 7, although Debaser is my favourite! I too adore Kirsty McColl x

kewcumber, the pixies were not necessarily to everybody's taste! (have to say i loved 'em though-first band i ever saw)

This seems a bit like talking behind someone's back as the OP doesn't seem to be around any more...

But anyway...if he's after feminine wisdom then fair play to him, why not?

it's a parenting forum sure but plenty of discussions are not remotely related to parenting so if he's got something interesting/funny/incisive to say, again i say why not?

If he just wants to use MN as a glorified dating site then I would be dubious...but am hoping that's not the case...

(although a MN wedding would be v. exciting don't you think? I'd even get a virtual hat...)

Ouch. Some of you guys are MEAN.

Oddly, I don't feel as welcome any more. Or perhaps I just need to have a better sense of humour about some of the nastier comments on here. I may not be attached, but trawling the "Lone parents" section of a message board looking for a date is pretty low, even for a writer.

In answer to how I got here, I was doing some research for a piece I'm writing. It seemed, at first, like quite a nice place and I was inspired to write something about myself.

The reason I didn't answer all the unpleasantness was that I make a point of not going online in the evenings: it's my time to write. And, believe me, if I was genuinely looking for "bored housewives", I wouldn't sink so low as to spin a sob story in the hope that one of them might make a wild stab at where I live and turn up with PVC outfit and toys akimbo.

Do my credentials pass muster, or shall I make my excuses and leave? The last thing I want to do is intrude on a site in which everyone knows each other, and random men aren't welcome.

so no PVC or toys then?

satyricon, MN can be a very nice place but it isn't fluffy. A sense of humour is definitely required.
If you want to stay, then stay! you will have an entertaining and interesting time of it. No-one can make you leave if you want to be on MN!

Perhaps you should find yourself a sense of humour first and a bit of common sense?

You honestly don't understand why people would be suspicious of a single, childless guy posting on a parenting site called Mumsnet in a thread titled "Lone Parents" asking for advice on dating? Come on! Even if you are genuine, which I did state I would happily accept, then you surely must have the common sense to understand where us cynical old hags are coming from?

As for nasty posts, I see none. I see lots of friendly ones and even those of us who have questioned your motives have said that you are welcome to post, so where is your grievance? Or am I to read about all of this in tomorrow's paper?

Toys are acceptable, but I'm more of a rubber fan. PVC is itchy.

Rhubarb... you never know. I'd buy all the tabloids for the next couple of weeks, just to be on the safe side.

I suspected your motives from your first post.

"But the message boards seem so friendly and supportive"

Eh? You don't know us at all...

Ha research! I was right

Are you sure you wouldn't stoop that low? There was a mini queue forming....

you need to use talc with PVC...

so I'm told.

Talc... does this mean an end to chafing?

yup

where's the pervs anonymous topic when you need it?

Get a dungeon

KM
not sure MN needs another pervy sex thread

Kewcumber there have been a couple recently! (well if bum sex counts as pervy...)

Anywho, what's a site without a token minority? I rather like the idea of being token single white male.