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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

I'm going to get slaughtered for this, I bet

232 replies

satyricon · 02/07/2007 14:01

I'm brand new on the site. I'm not even sure why I'm here, in fact. But the message boards seem so friendly and supportive, so I thought I'd try my question. Bear in mind that I'm a guy and therefore clearly quite dim.

My partner and I split up about 6 months ago. She had miscarried a month or two before and after that, everything changed. She didn't want to be around me, didn't want support or company, just wanted to be alone. Finally she told me she was moving away and she didn't love me any more. It was a terrible experience, and it's taken me a while to come to terms with it. I suspect I might never see her again. Certainly, the last time we spoke, that was how she was feeling. I've tried very hard and I do understand that what she's doing is trying to do is to rub that part of her life out... and that means me.

OK, so that doesn't make me a lone parent. Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

This question's going to sound pretty humdrum after all the stuff I've just said, but her goes. How do you get back into dating and the whole scene? It's been a long time and I'm totally clueless. And what makes it worse is that I was a real social vulture before all this. Going back to the clubs and bars I used to hang out in just seems a little meaningless and dull. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Am I just a bit of a freak?

OP posts:
michaelad · 03/07/2007 10:32

I'm absolutely with you on that one, Bouvier!
Give the man a break!!

Rhubarb · 03/07/2007 10:33

Oh look, his friends have arrived!

jeremyvile · 03/07/2007 10:35

I agree with Rhub it strikes me as he thinks MN must be full of potential dates, but bloody hell, if he's genuine then he'd have to be a bit of a wuss to get scared off by a few sceptical women.

I Satyr is genuine then im sure he'll stick around and prove us wrong.

Rhubarb · 03/07/2007 10:37

Sure, we are all allowed to speak our mind aren't we? He did say our "feminine wisdom" would come in handy so I'm sure he doesn't mind the odd cynicism. Life would be boring if we all agreed wouldn't it?

michaelad · 03/07/2007 10:37

Rhubarb, you are entitled to your opinion but to me, his profile does not read like a dating ad at all. It is simply well written and funny. And so far he has not said anything that could even be potentially offensive to anyone at all. So why not just let him be part of the community? Plenty of time to tar and feather him later should the tone change...

Rhubarb · 03/07/2007 10:39

He is more than welcome, but we all read things differently, and to me, his profile coupled with his posts here, strike me as having an ulterior motive. If he really does just want advice then I'm sure he'll get plenty of it.

FlamingTomatoes · 03/07/2007 10:40

I would much rather get to know people on a non dating website than on a dating website - dating websites seem to be populated by the bald and horny, whereas normal websites are full of normal people.

Like us

Carmenere · 03/07/2007 10:46

I'll guess that Satyricon is a researcher for a show like The Wright Stuff/Womans Hour (but he's only doing it til the book is published, hence the writer on the profile). He was told to come on here and get a few current affair ideas for the coming weeks. He has a bet with the other bloke in the office that he can pull a married yummy mummy. He may or may not have had a gf who miscarried their baby, although that bit rings true to me so I'd imagine that he may be drawing on rl experience.

However I am naturally cynical and if he has any staying power or at least an understanding of mn he will not only understand my skepticism but expect it

Either way he is most wellcome.

MerlinsBeard · 03/07/2007 10:49

have to say i agree with rhuby. of he was looking for support after a m/c google would have produced the miscarriage association.

The topic he chose is lone parents out of all the others that he could possibley have chosen ie miscarriage. and i haven;t looked at the profile yet.

FlamingTomatoes · 03/07/2007 11:04

If women got this kind of treatment when they joined there would be no mumsnet. Our reputation for being a nest of vipers is not entirley undeserved.

FlamingTomatoes · 03/07/2007 11:05

It's goddamned sexist. I would be furious to be speculated about on an internet forum I had innocently joined for support and company, just because it's mainly the opposite sex!

KerryMum · 03/07/2007 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jeremyvile · 03/07/2007 11:08

You're right FT, the nest of vipers is not entirely undeserved.

So nothing that is being said on this thread is out of keeping with the rest of the site.

People can either appreciate it for what it is, get stuck in and enjoy OR decide its not for them.

Rhubarb · 03/07/2007 11:08

Ok flaming, how many childless women do you get on Mumsnet starting a thread in the lone parent section asking for advice on dating?

Trust me too, that once or twice we have had women on here using the boards to chat up some of the men would you believe! And yes they got lynched. Does that make you feel better?

If we have suspicions or cynicisms, which we happily admit to and even happily accept that we may be wrong, shall we just sit on our hands and not post them in case we are called sexist or racist (he may be black after all)? You really are being very silly!

jeremyvile · 03/07/2007 11:08

'nest of vipers TAG'

newlifenewname · 03/07/2007 11:09

You can try flyposting on any vertical objects.

newlifenewname · 03/07/2007 11:10

Please do post your picture, and tell me you've done it before Lou sees.

Carmenere · 03/07/2007 11:10

oh stop taking it so seriously FT. Of course a single man(and a somewhat smarmy one at that) is going to cause a certain amount of cynical speculation when he joins a forum for mothers. His first thread is about how to meet women fgs.
If he is just a genuine, strange, bloke there is no problem.
Nobody has been particulary nasty to him.

mamazon · 03/07/2007 11:14

am i alome in thinking this is a fishing attempt?

that Op has chosen the lone parent section to post in the hopes that some poor lonely female will find his attention appealing and therefore he can score?

I am very sorry if this is not the case satyr but it is very common for predatory males to hunt lone female parents as they are an easy target.

why not try posting in the mens room for a while and then see how things go from there.

Kewcumber · 03/07/2007 11:15

ooh d'you think he's really looking for a date? Is 43 too old? or do we have a problem with dating in the family as it were . I'm very keen on seemingly intelligent men who flatter women but saying nice things to them (its vastly under-rated in my humble opinion) - please don't send the odd one that strays on here off to another site...

jeremyvile · 03/07/2007 11:15

Yes Mamazon.
You're entirely alone Gin

Rhubarb · 03/07/2007 11:16

If he is still around, then you are welcome to join, but I hope you understand the suspicion your posts on a Lone Parents topic causes.

And I hope you accept our right to voice our concerns. Of course you are also within your right to defend yourself and post wherever you like.

jeremyvile · 03/07/2007 11:17

Ha!!, Meant
But quite like Gin too

Wisteria · 03/07/2007 11:26

He likes The Pixies - got my vote and yes, I am that fickle....

Kewcumber · 03/07/2007 11:44

yup, 42 is too old 'cos I have never heard of the Pixies.

In that case... HOUND HIM OUT