Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

[Solo]

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

She (exw) sounds like a self centred cow CPD . Teens are often a nightmare! My next teen is 2.7 years away! Yippee!

I am always calling ds for 45 mins every morning before he will get out of bed for school on a weekday it is very tiring!

I have the opposite problem at the minute, keeping the kids in bed until a decent time in the morning so she's not too tired for school. Yeah their mum has always been self centred, everything is used as a way of getting attention which has lead to me not believing a word she says about any sudden 'health issue's that pop up when she's meant to be having the kids

I really like an early night i.e. 10 pm lights off. These days with ds being 12 he is getting harder and harder to get off to sleep and it is easily becoming 1030 pm the odd night it is a flippin' nightmare! Even if I unplug the internet at 9.45 he can think of ways to string out the evening and takes time to sort himself out.

What a pity they have minds of their own lol. :) If only we could change their chip!

I sympathise, I really do! My son has Scoliosis and that apparently can interfere with Melatonin so he sleeps badly.

Well I am fit to be tied. I have a new and difficult job. My new manager is a cow and accused me of sleeping with the director. I just denied it and watched what looked like a great job disappear down the toilet.

My ex likes to screw about with the maintenance and I spent last week threatening him with court proceedings. He paid up. My daughter thinks he is super and talks about him endlessly. I say nothing.

I am attempting to sell my house and find somewhere new to live
(Timing not my choice).

This evening, after another day being patronised by my new boss, my daughter 6 years old decided she would refuse to go to bed. I gamely ignored for twenty minutes. Then I lost it. I just could not take another complaint or problem. I feel bad having lost my temper, but I am
only human.

Pink we all do it so don't beat yourself up. Your Dd will get older and learn. I'm a shouty Mummy, but less so as my Dd grows up. As for your ex...I used to listen to the crap from Ds about his father after he'd met him (for the last time) at 3yrs old; he bought him Quavers and a comic and daddy was the best thing since sliced bread. Sadly for me they are now in regular contact and get on well according to Ds (18 now so...) but his father is telling him I don't know what and denying some very factual things too. I just hope he's not around if/when Ds decides to get married etc. I feel the same about Dd's father but at least he's paying a bit towards her hobbies.
Count to 10 Pink you aren't alone here.

Solo I dread to think of what my ex will tell the kids as the years go by, she's still hiding that she left us for someone else from everyone she can and most of her friends think I used to do things like make her sleep in the seatee every night just because I'm a horrible person.

Pink as Solo said we're all only human so don't feel bad that everything got in top of you and you shouted. My DD has been constantly pushing boundaries lately and the other night I went mad when I found out that when she'd been going upstairs to use the toilet she was putting wet toilet paper everywhere and playing with sudocream. I sent her to bed without any soft toys for the first time that night, causing screams and tears galore and I did end up shouting that it was her own fault as she'd been naughty and needed to realise that hee actions have consequences

Another shouty mummy too. I've tried the not shouting but they don't pay any attention to me. Being loud seems to be the only way to be acknowledged.

Had one if those weeks, my Great aunt is ever so poorly and in hospital (I'm here with her now but she's sleeping), mum is on hols so I've had to change my hours to do all the school runs and my car is pretty much buggered. I do have money for another one but I haven't decided what.

Hope everyone is having a better time of things this week? I have been given a months notice today :( business is poor so I have to go. I'm sad and worried about what is next as I don't retain information like I used to.

How awful for you Solo yes I have a memory of a goldfish these days too.

Ds being dead lazy and not cooperating with any housework tasks. Since he turned 12 I have tried to get him to sweep his room with a brush and dustpan every week. Most weeks he has not done this so I have not paid him any pocket money. He does not seem to mind...!

Hopeless lol.

Also having probs with my man friend already just his usual traits coming out, pernickety and critical and a bit blunt. He is having a gallbladder out this week so not meeting up and then me and ds are going to London for a few days in the half terms so perhaps absence will make the heart grow fonder. All these spare men left have such bad traits it seems. Ds is also moaning I have been seeing him too much and he doesn't like having a guest round. He doesn't stay the night as we both like our own bed (we are strange!) so he can't moan about that! We have had such a silent home with no family support I think ds finds it a big change. He has only stayed a few hours nothing heavy. 3 times a week. Ds isn't good with change.

Also sleeping like crap. Hey ho! Looking forward to going to London anyway. :)

I don't know where to start looking really. I only want 20 hours a week school ish hours. I could cry!

Yes I am sure you could Solo there is nothing worse than a financial plight (apart from sorry health) is there. Even care work isn't child friendly hours. Is there any way you could become a teaching assistant at least it is child friendly and is respectable. I wouldn't want that myself but just an idea. I appreciate it isn't something you can just walk into though. There are job ideas also on uk classifieds website to do from home or funny hours to work around children etc.

Back to man problems my friend made a fuss Sunday when it was time for me to go back to ds I don't like leaving him on his own more than four hours and wouldn't do that more than once a week tops. He was acting like a spoilt child. His own grown up children don't talk to him due to his gobby ways but aside from that he has many good traits and I wish to try to work things out with him. Trouble in paradise already as they say!

I did think about teaching assistant but it's the kids!!! I can just about cope with my own! Thanks for the tip re UK Classifieds though.

I think there is something fundamentally wrong with a lot of the single men out there but it can't be all of them. I think I will just be on my own for the rest of my life. I can't see how I will meet anyone - or anyone half decent. I didn't meet decent men when I was beautiful and slim and young, so it's hardly going to happen now I'm none of those things. I hope this one can be kicked into shape for you though Flowers I really do :) .

Lol don't you find other people's children easier than our own?!

I think my friend was just acting up. He is like that he can go a bit contrary. I know him very well and know what to expect. I will just suggest to meet weekly from now on in and then hopefully the good will still outweigh the not so good......

No! Well not always anyway.

Hopefully it'll work out for you :)

Am quite sure I will be on my own the rest of my days too Solo I just can't cope going out with a guy who is going to criticse the way I am bringing up my son. He doesn't know anything about 12 year olds as he had split up with his ex wife by that stage and the next relationship he had after that he was still drinking heavily so wasn't a reformed man. He is too hypercritical going to call it a day for the millionth time.

Hope I am not boring anybody! :(

Just wanted to update you all that for now at least my now expanding job is safe.

Well done better than the dole office Solo! Good on you. :)

Solo I'm glad you're jobs sorted at least for now. As Polly said theres nothing worse then finacial worrys, they just seem to get under your skin.

I'm lucky at the moment finacially as since I won my ESA tribunal DWP had to back date my payments nearly a year so I've recieved a lump sum which has allowed my to relax for the first time since my wife left last year

Ooh well done CPD that sounds brill. Not that it is fun to be sick at least some measure of justice has been served for a change. ESA bunch not the most generous of folk and all that!

Yeah it wasn't the best time of my life. They gave me 4 days notice of the assessment last year and then took me off ESA. This was despite me pointing out during my appeal that tge assessor had put things in her report that I hadn't said and included lines such as "he didn't look in pain." I think they targetted me as I had become a single parent so they just thought that if I could lool after two young children I could work.

Luckily the lawyer/judge and doctor at the tribunal disagrees. Its stupis because DWP have been fighting my appeal foe nearly a year and the tribunal took about 15 minutes to decide they were wrong

Thanks all :) Yes, it does beat the dole queue!

CPD I'm pleased to hear you got your payments reinstated and your back payments too; that must be such a relief.

Hope everybody is well. I gained three pounds in weight last week whilst away in London hey ho. It shows no signs of coming off since either! Am going to try the 'clean eating' diet and have purchased a book so hope to start that imminently. A friend swears by it.

Took the car for a service yesterday it now needs a new clutch soon so finances challenging as per - can I never get a respite!! Just when I think I might get in front no such luck!

I told my friend off and asked him to leave me be I feel a lot better for it. We have tried to go out 7 times in 8 years it is utterly pointless and a dead end street. I had to send it quite bluntly to get the point home but I felt so much better for it. To be honest I find at this stage in my life it is so much easier to remain single and enjoy any free time I have to do what I like in it and not have any interference/expectations. I prefer the free agent approach!

Polly I'm sorry things didn't work out with tour friend but glad your feeling better for it.

I hope you're having a better weekend then I am. The kids went to their mums friday night for the first time in a month and were meant to stay until tonight but I got a phone call from my ex at 5am saturday morning to say that apparently she'd just woken up to fond a burgular downstairs who fled when challened so she needes me to get the kids when they woke up. So gpt another call at 7 to collect them and they've been home since.

A small part of me feels bad for saying this but I honestly don't believe her. If all the things she tells me happen are true her life is more drama filled then Eastenders and Coronation street combined. She was unable to have them last time it was her weekend as her brother who lived with her until this week was aggressive and she was scared for her safety and stayed eksewhere, and every contact weekend before that usually enses early due to some emergency with her pregnancy