Number 2 Thread When You Are Fed Up With The Solitary Burden Of Single Parentdom

[Solo]

Happy New Year and Happy New Thread to all the single parents looking for a place to rant, rave, moan, share the highs and the lows and chat with people that know! It is the second thread and probably a slow one if the first is anything to go by, but it's here when we need it.

LINK TO THE FIRST THREAD

Well another date dumped before it could happen - again.
Three times asked to rearrange at a few hours notice (last one less than 2 hours!) - once - fine, twice - okaaaay, three times - forget it, I'm not an option. And this was after him messaging me last night when I was out saying he'd definitely be there.
Tosser!

The majority of single men do seem pretty clueless when it comes to the sensible logistics of arranging childcare and it not being avaiable at a moment's notice.

I am still looking forward to my date tomorrow but daren't hang my dress outside the wardrobe ready for the occasion in case it jinxes it lol.

Good luck Polly - surely 1 out of 3 of us should manage a date!!!!!!

Who knows Fos ain't holding my breath until it actually happens not because of my friend as such but fate has jinxed us already on a few occasions......!

Happy birthday for Tuesday too. :)

Aw - thank you! I had planned a few years with dd but she's just texted from her dad's to ask if she can meet up with her friend that she hasn't seen in ages......dumped by her now too!!!!!

Hope you have a lovely day Polly

Sorry but can I have a quick sorry for myself moment?

Xh asked if he could use this weekend for dd's Xmas voucher, so I said fine no probs, I'd see her most of Sunday and today and we could have a treat for my birthday today.

Attempted date failure x 3 which also meant no lie ins.
He brings her back late and v tired after little sleep (which to be fair wasn't entirely their fault but totally predictable) and a tense weekend between the adults.
Whilst at her dads her friend who she doesn't physically get to see very often asks if they can meet up today (my one day with her). It would be mean to say no so I say ok. Think that even though it's another early morning the money I'd planned to treat us I could take to Primark and treat me to new work clothes.
Turns out the parents thought it would be nice to go out for the day and do certain activities so now the £30 I'd put to one side has gone with her to subsidise her part if it.

So my last day of my birthday weekend (the only time I get to call mine) is being spent alone again but this time with a pile of ironing and a price reduced lemon cake I bought on Saturday (and will have that many additives in should still be ol, if not there's always custard!!!).

We can't even go to the pictures as the film we want to see starts at 8pm.....ggggrrrrr!!!!!

No special time for me then...... I know it's just a day, and with her exams she needs down time to have fun, but this month she's cost me a bloody fortune, one day back would have been nice.......

Happy Birthday Foslady! Sorry your birthday weekend has not gone to plan ! I think i'd be inclined to follow the Queen's example and have another birthday later in the year so you get to celebrate after all!

Good idea about two birthdays Leo! Sory to hear your birthday is a bit of a washout Fos I always try and book myself e.g. a massage or something nice my birthday rather than just celebrate it on my own at least that way I have something covered for ME for a change! Waiting for the world to see to it would be like waiting for doomsday!

I met up with my friend earlier today it was a rather subdued and tempered moderate occasion as he is in bits over his ex not letting him see his daughter or even talk to her. It has only been 6 days since he got thrown out so I guess it is all mega raw. He is looking a bit pitiful and really not himself.

I could only stay out 3 hours because ds was left at home but he is 12 and was fine on his own with his playstation and croonies online.

I am still looking forward to spending more time with him slowly but guess I will have to be patient if he isn't full of the joys... At least going in his favour he may get a new fairly good full time job in July or so and it may be nearer to where I live but I don't know yet and he will move from his friends' home to a new neighbourhood as he says he doesn't want to go back to where his ex is as she is gossiping and spreading lies about him where he used to live. So things may pick up in time......

Relationships are so tricky! The monastery was a really novel experience and had some freaky rockery and the nearby tea room was quite sweet.

At least I went OUT for a Bank Holiday for a change that must be a first for quite some time and I ain't kidding (apart from a trip to Sports Direct or somewhere boring but that doesn't count!). I did notice when I walked round that EVERYBODY seems to go out in a couple don't they! It was nice to feel in the majority for a change albeit a few hours lol.

Ha! Didn't know if to laugh or cry the other day - a married friend was telling me how hard it had been to walk into a friend's party alone not knowing if anyone else she knew would be there........,welcome to our world!!!!😂😂😂

Fos I hate parties and never get invited as I don't like crowds and large gatherings so that resolves that problem!

I prefer small groups or one on ones.

I am ditching the idea altogether of any boyfriends until a) I have more money and b) I have more friends. I need to be happy with ME first. Not sure when these areas are going to get resolved mind! Every month I think about joining a book club or aqua aerobics my health conspires against it. I am beginning to think I am socially cursed right now!

I also can't cope with a boyfriend who can't be bothered to scrub himself up well enough so he doesn't have bad breath or a hairy groin. Not a lot to ask is it??!!

Hope I made you smile ladies. :)

FWIW, I found it much worse being at parties/do's on my own when the now ex was working cheating that now when I know I have little Flowers what happened? Didn't he bother for you?

*than, not that now etc.

Well Solo he was 40 minutes late acting very shut down depressed low in mood and smelly breath and we had a bit of a fumble in his car at one point but he had a hairy groin. That is such a turn off long white hair around the private parts! It isn't fashionable at all these days men at least trim down below. I think he just doesn't have any dating skills and all that build up over the weeks had led it to feel one big letdown. He also didn't text for two days so it made me feel very uneasy so I emailed him to say it isn't the right time for him but to keep in touch. Not heard anything since last Wed.

He needs to change his car find a different job and move and there are to many things to see to. It is just depressing.....

Can't be bothered with all the stress it made me ill! Hey ho.

He wasn't affectionate either I had to make all the effort steer things etc. Hopeless.

Oh no! Flowers I'm sorry to hear that. Was he married for a long time? What age is he etc? Not trying to make excuses for him, but he sounds depressed as much as anything. I feel for you .

Yes Solo I think he IS depressed. She won't let him see their 12 year old daughter and she isn't speaking to him on the mobile any more. The wife texts him daily with insults etc. He is 55 and was married from about 20 and only ever had one woman. I don't feel like carrying a depressed guy when I get my own anxieties depressions and hormones to cope with and I don't think I could cope steering somebody who isn't clued up in the dating department either. He perhaps doesn't realise that long white hairy groins just don't lure the chicks in anymore these days ......! I would like to hear his news on the email from time to time but think it is pointless to date him he is too raw with it all. Anyway I find relationships highly stressful these days I was saying to a friend last night on the phone he agrees we are both relationship phobic! Just need some more single friends but I work at home and trapped evenings so am stuck! When I am over the hayfever and tiredness phase I will join aqua aerobics one evening a week.....

I agree - depressed and a bit clueless! And i could imagine that he'd let you become part of his support network rather than partner. I think he probably needs some time on his own in order to work his way through before embarking on a new relationship.
I'm giving myself a break - I've got a scewed view of men from OLD so need it!

I only ever meet the strange ones I have given up. Victims/men that nobody would want/nothing left on the market my age group if you ask me lol. Even when I used to socialise when ds used to stay at his dad the men around were just awful.

I used to always tell my girlfriends when they split from a man, 'have some time on your own; find out who you are and what you like and want and then you'll know more about what you will accept.' Now you all know why I've been on my own for so long! Well that and being at home all the time with kids when not at work.

I used to think that the majority of men were decent, as I like to think I am, with a small but significant minority of absolute idiots and heartless bustard but it does seem to be the other way around a lot of the time.

I am resigned to the fact that I'm more then likely going to be single for the rest of my life since my wife left last year. As much as I'd like to think I am nice and could make someone happy it seems it's impossible for anyone to look past the immediate things of me being a disabled father of 2 children under 5. As I'm unable to work and probably will be for at least years to come then no one will even give me a first look never mind second or third.

Ah well enough pitying myself though, I hope you're all well

I think a lot depends on how much you socialise and seeing as I work from home and am trapped at home in the evenings the odds aren't too high of meeting much cross section. I can live with it though.

CPD if you don't mind me asking, how disabled are you? I have ME and suffer chronic pain but am not classed as disabled even though I am. I don't think that everyone wouldn't entertain the idea of dating (or more) someone with a disability; I myself dated a man with MS in 2003/4.

Flowers that is my problem. I don't go out! So I'm in the low odds section too.

Yes every pot has its lid CPD don't take it so hard. Besides I have an impairment which is borderline Asperger's and that is no picnic. We are all wounded in some way.

I'm not registered disabled, but suffer from anxiety and depression (had 7 weeks off work recovery and have to keep a close eye on myself - luckily I also have a good friend that lets me know when I've start behaving erratically as I don't usually realise) and I know that it makes me difficult to live with, let alone love, so CPD please don't write yourself off.
Everyone has something, even if they don't realise it - I tell myself there'sfew pieces of pottery my age in general use that doesn't have a chip or crack!!!!!!