support thread. For current lone parents who live with their children

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

If your a current lone parent with resident children and fancy offloading or a rant or have a question you want to ask others who are currently in your situation and you want to do it in a safe place

And you don't want to ask an NRP or a step parent or none parent then why not ask in here.

He asked me to buy him a motorbike last time we had a decent length conversation and wondered why I laughed

How ridiculous, needs!! what a fun day out for the children that would be - him dashing to the bog every 5 minutes!

Mine used to waltz in whenever he pleased and expect me Cook and clean and look after him which I did when I put my foot down he made me pay for it! I've put my foot down again recently and I'm waiting to see what his response will be. every time he perceives me to be taking some control he punishes me for it

Hi all. Feeling a bit low today. My lovely colleague had his last day at work today. He's one of a few men who convinced me that not all men are bastards after my marriage broke up. Anyway when he hugged me goodbye I realised that the only other man who had hugged me in the last three years was my dad. I miss that big bear hug you only get from a man. I thought I was content to be single for ever if necessary, but now I feel a bit wobbly.

Bitchy, all is not lost not all men are bastards,there is one lives 5 streets down and two across second house from the left who I know is not a bastard.

All hope is not lost

I'm all for that protected feeling ~(heaven knows we need it, after having to be responsible 24/7) just don't believe the hug means it will be thus. Nice to have comfort, just don't expect too much from it. I decided life was much simpler if you can separate relying only on yourself from the emotional want to share the load. I was on a thread recently where someone posted about loosing yourself in a relationship and becoming less of who you really are. For me that is very true. I don't know why or how, but I feel less confident and more needy. On my own the buck stops with me, which is tiring and stressful and angst ridden, but I only have myself to blame or look out for. Much simpler. It doesn't work for everyone. Closeness and physicality are important, but I try to see that as seperate from my family functioning to it full potential. Basically I don't want to feel I need a man for 'comfort' at the cost of unbalancing my happy stable home.
Maybe I'm a control freak

I know exactly what you mean lion! on my own I feel strong and capable (don't get me wrong, I still have manu moments where I feel I can't cope etc) and when in a relationship I start turning into this needy, paranoid neurotic I seem to be keeping a lid on that so far with the new guy bit I am so very aware of it now

Hi all ,
Argh argh argh- when will I ever learn to hold my rants in???
My ds and I have been on half term- but yesterday - ds seemed kinda lonely- I texted his dad because I thought a surprise visit from his dad for half hr might perk him up- his dad replied was working and finishing late in Birmingham .
I take my son to the barbers today- an they say to my son " oh hello xxxx, ur dad was in last night , why didn't u come in with dad?"
As you can imagine I wasn't happy that his dad told me was working and finishing late but managed to be at barbers at 6.45- barbers is literally 3 mins from house and he knew ds needed hair cut.
So I've ranted at him via text as to why he lied and why he coukdbt be bothered to see what I needed for his son.
He then has tbe cheek when I've asked him why he puts everything before his son- to try to throw back I'm being mental etc.-- eerrr no I'm mental coz u make me mad with ur lack of thought-argh argh argh- when will I ever learn to hold my tongue and not get so wound up by it all an loose it by text/voice :-( I also think he's seeing someone and would just admit it. He's always been a liar about a lot once large suns of money.
I don't love him anymore but I hate the fact his life wil move on before mine when I'm tbe wronged party( long story)
Pls pls advise on how you keep your cool?!?! Sorry for typos am too mad to correct at min! X

Loved your post needasock. I know a few non bastards these days, but no single ones.
Sorry you're having to put up with shit like that from your ex ej. When mine is being an idiot I remind myself that my dc will realise how selfish he is soon enough. In a few years time they will be putting him off and saying they are too busy to see him. So really I keep myself calm by plotting revenge on him

Bitchyhen- day of reckoning seems such a long way off.:-(

EJ, I try very hard to maintain calm as he just loves it when I lose my temper and I don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he's got to me!
In order to keep my temper, I talk to him like a business acquaintance. Facts only. Doesn't always work but I feel a LOT happier about my dealings with him when I can remove the emotion from it, if that makes sense.

Yes I know what u mean- it's like that most of time for us- we even had dinner as a "family" last week- but then soon as Monday comes- and he goes back to being "god" at work - everything's forgotten and turns to an self important mid life crisis male. Then I get riled.
I need a pause like button- as soon as lady barber asked about his dad and I found out- my rage and pulse shot through roof and I'm instantly texting.
The only thing that's made me sad- is that ds overheard some of the phone row- and he's seemed a little upset this afternoon:-( I can't seem to help it- even knowing my son overhears.
It's like he's made my life a misery for years so I don't want it to continue.

No idea but watching this as I need to do mine tomorrow if I can't convince my Dad to come round

Sounds like your blades might need sharpening paddling. Also if the grass is long it's best to have the blades higher for the first cut then lower it for the second cut. Could be the grass is too damp also.
Hth

Ok I'm screwed. I've never cut grass before and none of that made sense to me.

No don't mow it if its that high, you need to strim it first.

Well today I am my ex's families public enemy number 1 apparently I'm a up my own arse toff cunt!

All I did was ask them to stop calling my youngest,baby P

What sort of mower is it?

Erm... I am presuming and hoping your youngest's name starts with a P.

Even still, I would say that it's pretty obvious why nobody would want their child referred to as "Baby P".

www.flymo.com/ddoc/FLYO/FLYO2012_GBen/FLYO2012_GBen__505531406.pdf

This should help

Yes Cupid it does, but still I found it unnerving and it was made clear its because they don't like the name.

And I'm guessing we all know what jumped into my head every time I heard it

Don't mowers have plastic strip thingies these days instead of blades?