support thread. For current lone parents who live with their children

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

If your a current lone parent with resident children and fancy offloading or a rant or have a question you want to ask others who are currently in your situation and you want to do it in a safe place

And you don't want to ask an NRP or a step parent or none parent then why not ask in here.

Yes I get that too. Although I am hugely angry at the way he treated us both when I had to throw him out, I would sometimes like him to ask about DD. Being proud of them is hard to deal with alone as I often feel I am boasting when I share with friends, but really need to share some of the things.

Now and then I even thing it would be nice for her to have him in her life to see once a week and bond with. But I know he can't commit to that now and never would. It's a funny thing isn't it, thinking how much fun they would have with them and then realising you'd not trust them to actually look after them properly if they were to have contact. I also don't know how much his g.f has stopped him seeing his daughter - he seemed up for contact before she came along (although all on his terms and late etc), so I suspect a lot of the Court and other dramas are down to her 'advice'. I definitely don't think I would like her to see DD as I don't know her (other than her impact on his decisions as above).

I am also confident they know my name on here and are probably reading all of my posts! It's sad that they have the time really, and care what I am doing with my life rather than living theirs. If he wanted to know about DD he should ask, not stalk. So I won't post a lot of things here, because frankly I don't see why he should get to hear it with minimum effort.

lion yes I have to share with other people. That's what FB is for too .

DS was given a special job at Beavers the other day, apparently it's because he's the most sensible one .

At least you are all allowed to be called single parents. My ex (who does see and pay for his child) insists that I am not a single parent at all

I remember I phoned my Mum when I knew she was on a night out when DD rolled over the first time. I think I've phoned her with everything since too. In the event I can't get hold of her I ring my Dad or Brother

They probably think I'm a bit bonkers but it's nice to share.

I use FB too - pretty sure most of my 'friends' are fed up with seeing her (90% of my posts are about her! Not boasting but covered in mud/face painting me) but I figure they can always block me! I get comments from old school friends from all over the world about her, so that feels a bit like sisters commenting I guess. My dad finds her funny too and I think he's convinced she's me again (keeps calling her my name) so at least he gets to see some of the little moments. He's usually down once a month or just over, so she does have one other adult to fawn over her occasionally

We're off to look at the local school today. Bit nervous about it for some reason. It's a good comp but in a rough estate of the edge of a nice area so you get a big mix of parents. Feeling a bit weird thinking she will be in uniform so soon as she will be the youngest in her year. Everyone keeps saying how you 'loose them' once they are at school. I just hope this is the right one to loose her too

*to, sorry - DD hitting me over the head to get me to read her a book so back later!

mine are 15 now and I cannot afford any food.
my son just launched himslef at me and I fell against some furniture and my arm is quite painful.
I owe my landlady some money for electricity that I cannot pay today and she is going to go mad.
Son ran up the phonebill to 160 for the month and so the phone has been cut off.
i was trying to tell my dad about it and he suggested I go to CAB or SS. I mean just wtf? does he really think i would invite SS into our lives again? last time they were involved with us all they did was slate me as a parent.
am in tears every morning.
since xmas my income has been cut by about 750 a month, with a HB cut and ex decided to stop sending us money. Apparetlny he now earns zero pounds a week. Funny how he runs a jog on that. JAG.

ina ddition son smashed my car windscrenn so i had to part ex it and i still owe a local boy money for the second car. Son keeps coming in and saying 'have you paid so and so yet?'
I was thinking aloud about asking the neighbour if i could check my emails at his place and son told me that 'nobody likes a scav'

and my last post comes up as 'pornographic content blocked' on ceredigion library service please can someone talk to me I am sitting here sniffing.
Son told me I should 'stop feeling sorry for myself'

Hi Nigella

Sorry you're having such a tough time at the moment. Parenting teenagers is so hard, especially on your own.
Can't offer you any specific advice about your situation, but I wanted you to know someone cared.

My ds is 13 and can be a real handful at the moment. He got angry and broke his laptop screen this week. Of course he was really upset when he calmed down but it's still broken.

thank you hen xx

Sorry to hear how hard everything is for you at the moment Nigella Any chance of getting your son to do a paper round or wash cars for a few quid to earn something towards paying back everything? Sounds as though he isn't aware of how this is his responsibility as well. You sound like you need some advice on other things, so CAB may be a good place to start.
No idea on teenangers really though so possibly not the best person. Here to hand hold though. Hope your day got better.

School was nice and better than I had expected. Head said we are right on the verge of the 0.3 mile radius though which has put the fear of god into me as the only other primary in our catchment is really bad. They start taking kids from the closest area first and only have 30 pupils in each year. Obvs siblings get first dibs on top of that too. I know 20 parents who all want to send their kids there so am feeling as though I'd be unlikely to get DD in. I have another to look at which is further away and could possibly collect DD by minibus every morning, but the reason they accept our area is because it is always under subscribed... I don't have to decide until September but I hate the uncertainty!

Hope everyone has been enjoying the nice weather? DD collected her painted rocks today which were fun to carry home

Hope you have had a better day Nigellla...

Maglet...what did DS do? I was telling my DS the other day about at some schools the naughty children are sat by the good children ..so the naughty children will behave better ...He told me it happens in his school too and told me the children who are the good children..Sadly he did not mention himself however I was relieved to here the good children he had never been sat by

We have had a lovely day at the theme park today proper quality time together...Really good for making memories so am happy

thank you Lion and Starlight , in fairness to him he has tried to make his own cash since he was about 10, flogging pre decimal coins in the playground at primary (that did not go down well) helping me with a paper-round (nor did that), washing cars, penny for the guy, the lot. His problem is now he is big and nearly grown up looking and nobody wants boys like that washing their cars, as they are basically suspicious of his motives. Anyway he will probably start doing the car boot sales soon and he DID say he would give me some money (When he makes it)

I did have a better day as I went to the docs and got some anti-depressants - not my ideal life plan but might give me enough of a lift to start changing things. Thank you for the support.

Glad you are better today. This will get better eventually. Sounds like he is a good kid at heart

We've been busy making cakes and decorating for our Easter party this Sunday. Looks like 9 kids so I'm not stressing out about cleaning too much

Perhaps we can all inspire each other to do an ebay item a week to get some cash back in? I'm going to try to do some of DD's shoes as they hold their £. Anyone done bundles of shoes before? Would be nice to get rid in one go but not sure if it is as profitable?

Off to buy some cheapo eggs for the weekend hunt! Hope everyone is well and happy.

I stopped doing ebay...people finding tiny faults when they paid pennies for stuff... Not worth the effort... We did a car boot before Christmas though od DS's toys and that went very well.( not the ones he still plays with btw.

I am full of cold still..Went and did the shopping this afternoon and packed DS off to holiday acitivty club so I could sit down and do nothing for an hour but I got a phonecall asking to collect him as he didn't feel well...I actually think he is just overtired..Although he claims he isn't tired but put in bed early and straight to sleep.

So hopefully all better tomorrow

Oh no star what a shame! I know how important those hours are I hope you don't feel too washed out?

I've got a wedding dress rehearsal tomorrow (bridesmaid) and I'm hoping DD 'gets it' as her friend will be there and they are little monkeys together! I have horrible visions of her and him shrieking like banshees throughout the wedding/pulling faces at the guests/hand+armpit farts - you name it. Any tips from wedding goers?

Also have still to find extra eggs as Poundland had none so looks like a long walk to Aldi after the church tomorrow! Last year it seemed all of the shops over ordered and they were flogging eggs for weeks after, yet this year they all ran out a week in advance DD is so excited and thinks it is her birthday

Luckily I've never had a problem with ebay. I get most of our clothes from there as we are on a strict budget, and have had the odd batch we just had to chuck out or use for craft clothes. Grandpa buys most of the shoes (I try to stick to Clarks and couldn't afford it with all of the growth spurts - £60 for winter boots - more than I spend on mine!) but they usually sell for around half of the original price, so that's the party covered!

im just catching my breath after the last couple of days. hope everyone is ok. lion thats sweet about dd being excited about the easter party :) :)

i have had stuff listed on ebay for ages and have loads of stuff i need to sell but its just not selling and im losing motivation.
im a bit down at the minute really. just need to focus on the positives (which there are many many i just can't see them right now)

Jan hope you are feeling better now? I am convinced we are on the verge of summer and it is making me itch to get out and do stuff!

I don't seem to be getting anywhere with DD missing her dad/grandma. If anything it seems to be happening every other day now In the supermarket yesterday she actually turned to a man looking at coffee behind us and said "My daddy gone, just gone." and stuck out her bottom lip. I was mortified and said "Yes, dear it is a bit sad, but we are OK". Add to that her flinging herself at the Best Man for this wedding and screaming excitedly "My DADDY! My daddy is HERE!" - I had never met this man before.

Can anyone give me advice? I don't want to be peeling her from strangers legs for the next few years! I've shown her pics when she asks at home, I've distracted her and I've explained he isn't around clearly enough but I am at a bit of a loss. Is it just a matter of being patient (adds to ever growing list of things you must be patient for with a toddler!).

Other than that we are great. Easter party was a huge success and she and her 8 friends ran riot for 5 hours around the garden and house. We have the wedding this weekend and Grandpa is over so I may get to socialise! That's twice in one month!!!

Thanks Paddling, it's funny but she seems to go on about it for 3 days and off for the rest of the week. Maybe it's just because of the wedding and we are meeting lots of men we haven't met before (ushers/best man etc).
I haven't done the pictures this week as she hasn't asked for them, but I think you are right. It wasn't doing what I had hoped - stopping her calling random men daddy!
We have the wedding tomorrow, so she has been trying on her dress, new shoes and special socks. As she says "I'm weeally smart Mummy! We're getting married!"
Off to get tucked in with a book and have an early one. Hope everyone is well and has a nice bank holiday weekend ahead.

I would of suggested the same.. Time is a healer for kids as well.... One piece of advise someone gave me was when you hear the name Daddy and he is absent you give it so much importance where as where is the old neighbour oh we don't see them anymore they live to far away..end of conversation very factual don't give it much more thought.

I also found as I felt I should answer all the questions my DS asked and then I realised he always asked these questions at bedtime so more than having questions about Daddy he was delaying bedtime.. That's not to say not times he hasn't needed questions answering.

Morning all. My ex has been up to his old gas lighting tricks this week and I'm feeling extremely head battered as a result. I hate how he still manages to get me to question myself!
Anyone else have this? If so, how do you manager to get it to not affect you?

Could you maybe keep all contact in writing? Emails or text messages?

I actually have no need to communicate with my ex ever but when I did still have to I refused to speak on the phone about anything. I supervised visitation at the time but I was just in the house not the same room so didn't really discuss anything in person either.