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Ok, I am going to need your help with this one....... any advice or experience would be welcomed.

310 replies

NamedAfterCbeebies · 29/06/2006 18:12

I have had to change my name incase this does go the way that I think it might well do and I dont want anything that I say on here to be dragged up at a later date.

I am hoping that you will all know who I am but please do not use my other name (which I will keep for other threads) and do not refer to anything that could give me away to anyone that could be reading this and shouldnt be iykwim.

It has been 3 weeks since H moved out, and we have tried to keep it very nice and friendly. But I think I have been very guliable and to trusting. We agreed that H would have the children on his days off (he works 4 days on and 4 days off) I thought that this arrangement was more than fair and that it was also the least painful solution.

H has been telling me over and over that he wants to work things out and that he will continue to provide for us all etc, which is why, although I went to the CAB I havent put the whells in motion with regards to CSA and IS.

Anyhow, H booked some time off work. He has had the boys since Thursday, which is coming up to a week. Obviously more than his 4 days.... But, on questioning him about it he replied "Well you said when Im not working they will be with me..." which I did, but I didnt specify about holidays etc. I thought that it was fine, he could have them for longer, they are his children too.

Anyhow, My mil has decorated a bedroom for them, I havent seen them for more than half an hour every other day for a few days now. H has stopped bringing them round, Mil keeps putting the phone down on me..... H ame round today alone to talk and has admitted that they want to keep the boys with them. His mom is mainly pushing for it. H has said that he wants whats best for the children - ie, living with me as his work shifts mean it would be impossible to care for them full time... but that his mother would be able to help with childcare.

I dont think he is able to stand up to his mother on this, and deep down I dont think he wants too. He enjoys having his children with him.

As they are in his care atm, I cant just go round and demand them back, he has as many rights as me. I keep suggesting that he brings them over here but he finds ways around it - suggests trips out etc. He wants to keep them 'staying with him' as if they were in my house then I could just say that they wernt leaving again.

I have been so stupid trying to keep things nice. He has changed the last week, stopped trying to win me back, stopped calling etc, basically backed off. I think his mother and him have decided between them that they want residency of the children.

What can I do? They are with him atm and what if he decides to keep it that way? This is not something I ever considered he would think of doing, and I know its mainly down to mil.

Any advice greatfully recieved. Thank you.

OP posts:
rickman · 01/07/2006 18:20

Message withdrawn

tortoise · 01/07/2006 18:21

Im worried.Its been 4 hours since last posted.
Hope you are ok nac.

rickman · 01/07/2006 18:31

Message withdrawn

tortoise · 01/07/2006 18:32

I just scrolled down to check.Its so worrying when last post is short and all this is going on.

HappyMumof2 · 01/07/2006 18:33

Message withdrawn

tortoise · 01/07/2006 18:35

She said had plans with an mn meet up tomorrow.She knows one mner in rl but couldnt get hold of him(think is carlk?)

Creole · 01/07/2006 18:40

Oh lord, I've just seen this thread and I hope you're ok.

Munz · 01/07/2006 18:50

no word? i'm hoping no news is good news, I fully agree with hm02, u've tried things nicely now is time to show them u won't be intimidated into handing over your boys.

does anyone else know her in RL, or at least her location so we can see if someone's close by to ensure all's ok? - althou it might make things worse for her??

glitterfairy · 01/07/2006 18:51

I am thinking of you and hope you are ok! Hope you have called the police as well they are often very supportive in these circumstances.

ScoobyDooooo · 01/07/2006 19:02

Still no news hope you & your kids are ok xx

SaintGeorge · 01/07/2006 19:05

I have sent text. Will let you know if I hear anything.

tortoise · 01/07/2006 19:08

Thanks StG.

saadia · 01/07/2006 19:45

really hope this day has a happy ending for NaCbb,

ScoobyDooooo · 01/07/2006 20:07

Any news yet SG?

Creole · 01/07/2006 20:28

I really think she's fine - she's probably just busy with the kids as she hasn't seen them in a while.
If she wasn't and the family had taken the kids away she would have been on here for support.

Please prove me right NAC!

tortoise · 01/07/2006 20:31

i hope youre right creole.
Although she did post when she had them earlier.

HappyMumof2 · 01/07/2006 20:33

Message withdrawn

tortoise · 01/07/2006 20:34

That was before they had an argument over his mum and she took the dc.

HappyMumof2 · 01/07/2006 20:41

Message withdrawn

rickman · 01/07/2006 20:41

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misdee · 01/07/2006 20:46

think sherlock may have her number.

serenity · 01/07/2006 20:48

SG - have you had a reply yet?

7up · 01/07/2006 21:01

oh dear, this isnt good!im thinking perhaps theyve sorted things out and have all gone out together as a family, without the bitch mil and she will post later when they back or in the morning

SaintGeorge · 01/07/2006 21:10

Not had a text. Will try ringing.

SaintGeorge · 01/07/2006 21:13

No answer landline. Mobile went to voicemail.

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