support thread for people who find it hard as LPs...

[simpson]

just wondering if this has been done before...

I have 2 Dcs (2 & 5) and am bringing them up by myself (H allowed to have phone contact only due to his fuck wittery {I love that phrase })

Sometimes its soooo hard doing it by myself

DS had parents evening today and although his comments from teachers were fab most all of the other parents were couples.

Sometimes it hits me that I have to do everything myself

aww jellykat. Give me your number and i'll text you. In fact maybe i should go text some people (haven't looked myself as wouldn't expect any either) just in case they're thinking the same (while not sending me any either)...

Aww Thank you gilly.. a PM would cheer me up!I'm just being stupid i know..!

Haven't sen this thread before. Request to join please.

Been a LP since pg with Dc1. Got Ds of 12.5 and Dd who is just 4yo. It's very, very hard at times.

not not stupid. Well unless you're saying i'm stupid too! Just hurts to know that I mean so little to friends and family. Ahh well. Maybe i'll go take a look and see if anyone did text. Be brave and all that. Kind of already know the answer though.

I think at times one just runs out of steam..I thought i'd found a friend this time last year, now am back at square one, and 47years old!

Thank you so much you two x

I'll be 47 in March too... tis crapola!

Yeah I think that's it. I used to be full of steam and life and energy and capable and looking forward to life. Now I can struggle to get by most days and have no interest in anything much any more.
Can't see life ever getting any better, in fact it will be a heck of a lot worse once ds is older and I stop getting wtc but still have all the same bills as before (possibly more if he does go to uni - though at the age of 11 he's saying he won't go now with all the stuff on teh news about it).

Sorry I sound really down, but am actually a lot better than I have been ost of this year. Just takes one or two small things to set you back though doesn't it :(

Can I join in?

Tonight I got one text from an old friend and one from my ex that I've told to leave me alone unless it's directly to do with making arrangements for the kids (out of necessity, the night we split he strangled me while screaming my my face he was going to kill me). I used to be such a sociable person too.

I'm hoping it's just that this time of year makes it harder. It's been 5 years since I was on my own, and I am finding it a struggle.

I did send him a bit of a nasty f off and talk to people that you haven't f'd over, I only need to hear from you to do with the kids text back. Made me feel better for a few minutes, but now I feel like even if he's not their real dad at least he's showing an interest and despite what happened with us he does love them and they do love him. Meh, I hate this time of year!

sjm123 Have posted encouraging positive things on your thread, Bugger you've caught me out!..

NYNS Didn't realize we were the same age, are you having the additional stuff of wonky hormones too?..

Gilly Yes am on WTC too, DS1 at college he went back to college city this morning, he's got a lot less grant/loan this year,and getting stressed/not eating properly..hes' so naturally thin,that a couple of pounds lost in weight is scarey..so i bought as much food as i could afford for him to take back..

It really is a great big pile of smelly stuff,hope tomorrow is a bit better for us all!

I have a bit of a hangover today

Had a good night, was good to just dance tbh

Kids just been dropped off.

All I want to do is go back to bed

Sorry some of you had a pants night

TBH I just cannot wait for DS to go back to school on tuesday and for our "normal" routine to start again iyswim especially as he missed the last 2wks of school due to chicken pox.

Oh how lovely to dance,i'm pleased you had a good night simpson!

Hope you have gone back to bed for a wee bit, it's grey and horrid today..so sounds like a brilliant idea!

How is everyone else finding 2011 so far?..

still in my pj's

still in my PJs here too

No point getting dressed now

Am trying to steel myself to change kittens litter trays Not a good hang over cure

Had to get dressed at midday to walk dog,will do it again in an hour..then i can change back into pjs, once i've lit the fire!oh and made the supper,oh and done the washing up..yep pjs here we come
Now that is something to look forward to!.. HeeHee

I seem to have full blown flu today! great start to the year eh?! been in bed for most of the day. Got up to feed Dd etc and she's been watching the TV and cuddling up with me in bed some of the time.

I've got up now, but I think it'll be an early night tonight.

Hope you feel better tomorrow

Can i join? I've been on my own for a year. Dh left me last Xmas when i was 38 weeks pregnant with dc4. I have 4 children - 8,6,2 and 1 - 2 of each :)

Some days good, some days bad, sometimes hard, sometimes fun. I do worry alot though. And get scared sometimes.

hey, can i tell you my 'story'I have been separated from H for 19mths and still finding it a bit difficult at times. my DD's are 9,10,11. I had been really unhappily married for best part of the 15yrs we were together (would you be emotionally scarred if your H after 2 yrs told you he wasnt interested in sex with you & other stuff) I finally plucked up the courage to call it a day and since then have been in turmoil because of the damage I may be causing to the DD's. I started a new career after completing a four year degree course and gradually the stress of being at work and coping as a LP caught up with me. I ended up having a melt down resulting in councelling (which has just finished) and happy pills which i am still taking. although it has been nearly 2yrs it is only the second christmas and has been quite difficult, I ended up in tears again!! I am determined to put the past behind me in 2011 and look forward to the future (if only it were that simple!).

the whole point of this thread is that there are others out there just like us....LPs - I have always been single - so going to NCT on your own is quite good training for LP trips to the parents evening....birthdays, holidays all rubbish - but reading that other people are going through it too makes it better - maybe we should all go on holiday together - ?

Hello 1mumble,That's an intense 1.5 years you've had- no wonder you got burnt out!Seems incredible that you've kept it together for so long..Your self esteem must have been so low having been told that after 2 years of marrage, and to get your degree and start a new career through all that shows such strength.

Why do you worry about the damage you may be causing your DDs?If you had stayed unhappily married (with what sounds like an emotionally abusive H) surely that would have been more damaging for them longterm?

It seems you've come a long way in a short time,you should be proud!

Scorps You've got a lot on your plate too,4 DC! I feel such a wimp for blubbing last night with only one DS at home,but yes some days good,some bad..What scares you scorps if you don't mind me asking?

Yes rose (I'm a very slow typer,and have no brain today).. Where shall we go? I fancy a white sandy beach, with blue blue seas!oh and coconut trees..

1mumble You sound like a strong inspiring woman to me - You will find it usefulto join some of us on the "Chin up Tits out" thread in Relationships. Know that's not quite the situation for you - but I think you would find it helpful.

You are doing a fantastic job with your dd's, in trying circumstances and you should hold you head high.

Count me in on the holiday, white sandy beach sounds fab

1mumble - I also think you sound incredibily strong, well done on the studying.

Scorps - I remember your thread in "relationships" I cannot beleive your youngest is a yr old already

At least I don't have a hang over today But I confess I do find my youngest (2) a handful as she is a real whinger/tantrumer and she seems to be having them in abundance today

I also need to think about what to do for her 3rd birthday at the end of jan

hello scorps and 1mumble

a Holiday sounds great, when do we leave? (who am I kidding- none of us have passports.. so Skegness is as close to white andy beaches as we'll manage!)

I'm happy to report my hangover was shortlived yesterday - having spent NYE hanging out on FB and MN in a slightly drunken state...

NY is starting quiety and lazily, calm and contented - long may it reign, though not hte laziness.. I really MUST clean up.. but not to day, I would press on only I feel like I've been STABBED, think its IBS pains.. but keeping an eye on it...

hi all, thanks you so much for the much needed ego boost and welcome to the site. a friend put me onto you and already you are making a big diference to me.
i wouldn't consider myself as a strong person, just someone who gets on with what needs to be for the sake of others (mainly the DD's) one of the most valuable things my counsillor told me was that i have spent so much time thinking about others that i have forgotten that i need some TLC too because i am just as important as all those others i care about. for me that meant more than giving me 'me time' but really understanding my worth in the world. (god that sounds philosophical) i hope some of you take heed of this message to give you strenght too.

so all in all i think the shrink was in a way giving me permission to go on hol with some of you lovely people, where do you fancy??? lol.