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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

support thread for people who find it hard as LPs...

821 replies

simpson · 16/11/2010 23:01

just wondering if this has been done before...

I have 2 Dcs (2 & 5) and am bringing them up by myself (H allowed to have phone contact only due to his fuck wittery {I love that phrase })

Sometimes its soooo hard doing it by myself

DS had parents evening today and although his comments from teachers were fab most all of the other parents were couples.

Sometimes it hits me that I have to do everything myself

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Jellykat · 01/02/2011 16:58

Oh Scorps.. Don't get down! He really can't be very nice if he didn't reply at all..That's one helluva game player, that's his problem not yours', so try not to turn it on yourself.. You are lovely, and he is a knob!!

Hello Lizzy - I don't reckon your DCs will think you're a witch when they're older!.. You'll be the one that is always there for them, and the one they'll come to talk to about problems etc.. That is worth more than gifts, Kids work that out as they get older!

MonkeyandParrot · 01/02/2011 20:46

Can I use this thread to rant about ex as I need to compose yet another email and I am about to explode? My ex is another game player who seems to devote his life to winding me up. He owes my mum and dad money and has not contacted them since we split a year ago to arrange repayment (we halved all debts when we split) and my dad has made numerous efforts to contact him with no result. I've emailed him twice now to try and formalise contact - offering for him to use my house to have the DCs overnight (he flat shares and doesn't have the space). He has definately recieved the emails as he has referred to other bits in them but just ignored the reference to contact . And to top it all he has finally agreed to pay maintance but wants to pay it directly to the DCs childminder as he wants to know it will be used for them. I mean I'm hardly going to spend it on drugs and booze!

But the icing on the cake is that because it is DD2s birthday next week he wants half of his contact time with just her. He sees the kids twice a month for 6 hrs and my DD1 (2.5) is always asking to see Daddy more . So this Sat I've got to drop them both off then pick up DD1 half way through the vist and leave DD2 behind. I'm guessing DD1 is not going to be impressed at being left out. Particullarly as she is very very excited about DD2s first birthday and wants to help with everything. And its going to me that has to deal with a jealous toddler who will be upset.

Right deep breath and polite email suggesting that just maybe including DD1 in DD2s birthday treat might just be a good idea.......

Original poster

simpson · 01/02/2011 21:13

Scorps - hun, hope you are ok??? man sounds a twat if he could not be bothered to reply and you are better off without him...

M&P - sorry your Ex is being such a twat Why can't men see what they are doing to their DC like we can?? Hope your DD1 is ok...

Lizzygirl - Hi and welcome I know exactly what you mean about friends who are in a couple moaning...

DD has been crying for her daddy today I am suprised she remembers him tbh as she has not seen him for 4mths and only talks to him on the phone once a week.

She had a favourite red teddy which went everywhere with her and sadly it got lost and with the help of MN I found one almost identical for her

However her dad sent over a red teddy too which is totally different to the original one and she has decided that thats her favourite because "daddy bought it"

All the time I hear "I love this red teddy more than my other one because daddy got it" I know its just her trying to make sense of a difficult/confusing situation but it is a bit galling

I guess, boring old mummy is always there and daddy is exciting etc bcause they (DC) don't really see him....

OP posts:

Wysiwig · 01/02/2011 22:46

Scorps,Simpson and Jellykat....thanks for all your words of comfort and wisdom:) I know deep down he'll be ok, it's my fears not his, he doesn't seem to worry about the dad bit, just the next game on the xbox! A Mums lot I guess...worry,worry and then a little bit more worry...

I'm lucky with the ex,purely because I have no feelings (love or hate) for him and he's still a complete knob (so no regrets) and we do have a fairly amicable relationship. No financial assistance, but that was agreed cos I got the house (which I actually worked for all my life) but hey, you can't get blood out of a stone and he earns peanuts so it just wasn't worth the agg!

Scorps...men...have had a couple of dates (actually 3) recently...what can I say? Nothing scary or particularly odd, but I will say that men of a certain age have so much emotional baggage that they should have left on the carousel...the dating lark is a bit of a white knuckle ride...it's soo hard...

I get more pleasure from logging on here than seeing how many winks I've had;)

Lizzygirl · 01/02/2011 23:27

Yes, agree with comments about men of a certain age and their emotional baggage. I could handle that as we all have some to be fair but they all act like fuck wits.

Scorps · 02/02/2011 13:21

Having a really bad couple of days, i look awful from crying. H's gf has been talking about me around town again, no reply from man, it's just gonna be shitty forever isn't it. Finding the dc so much work, little fun things for me, how come he gets the easy ride when he did all the bad things??

Original poster

simpson · 02/02/2011 17:35

Scorps - sorry you are having a bad few days

have to say I have struggled today too DD is such hard work, constantly talking, asking so many questions that she barely breathes But I find it incedibly wearing and am knackered this eve

I also thought it might be a nice tradition to make a little photo album of DD's party pics and wrap it for her (will do the same for DS) but she had other ideas and when she was looking at the pics she had a total strop (imagine lying on floor screaming till blue etc)because she was not in enough of the pics FFS she is 3 not 13

What makes me angry is me dealing with all this crap and having to get up early every day (I am not a morning person!!) and H gets to sleep in late, go shopping eat out and basically swan about and do what he wants

OP posts:

Jellykat · 02/02/2011 18:00

Yes, the thing about emotional baggage.. We do all have it, it's how much you lay it on other people isn't it? A lot of men seem to revel in it, using it as a excuse to treat others badly IMO..

Scorps,Sorry you feel low
No it won't always be shitty, it can't be.. re. your H, i am a firm believer in what goes around comes around.. It sounds simplistic i know, but you have 3 options, either you let these tiny minded idiots get to you,or you think 'fuckwits' and leave them to their bored gossip, or you move and leave them far behind..

I've had a shit day too..
But tomorrow might be better..or the day after that..

Jellykat · 02/02/2011 18:06

Simpson, Oops, Am not ignoring you, just got distracted before i pressed the 'post message' bit..

How come we're all having a shit day? Hopefully it's not just us, but the XPs too.. Hee Hee - evil thoughts..

No i'm not a morning person at all either, I can't eat anything before 11a.m,let alone speak!

Wysiwig · 02/02/2011 22:06

Ladies...

Seems it's a bit of a low day all round?! It's an emotional rollercoaster..kids,ex's,potential dates,work...some people never ever experience this crap do they? I'm so envious of them..hey ho...

Fuckwit...love that word...it's so..right;)

Original poster

simpson · 02/02/2011 22:09

But what I tell myself when I am happy( which I'm not right now tbh) is that they miss out on DC arms round their neck for a hug, or the sloppy kisses etc....

But what I wouldn't give for a lie in!!!

OP posts:

solo · 02/02/2011 22:37

Popping in again :)

Jellykat · 02/02/2011 23:20

Solo you're like the blinkin' white rabbit you are..

Getting a right hammering on another thread, OP has disappeared and i'm not surprised..

Gggggrrr.. please let the sun shine tomorrow,and please get some lovely- at least 6ft tall- hunk, come and give me a big hug..Thanks!

solo · 02/02/2011 23:24

Then send him over to me JK :)

Jellykat · 02/02/2011 23:29

Of course.. He may be a little knackered by the time i've finished with him tho'

solo · 02/02/2011 23:46

Harumph! that's no loody good then!!! I need a full service, not my tyres inflating!

Scorps · 03/02/2011 12:48

Epic fail yesterday. :(

Original poster

simpson · 03/02/2011 14:35

scorps - hope you are having a better day today??

JK - if your 6ft hunk has an identical twin brother, send him over!!!

OP posts:

Jellykat · 03/02/2011 19:54

Well the sun shone for a little while this a.m.

6ft plus man arrived, but i didn't like the 'cut of his jib',so i sent him away..
I don't give cuddles to any ol'riff raff y'know

If he'd been up to scratch i'd of cloned him, and we all could've had a copy-kept them under the stairs or something, next to the hoover!

How is everyone today??

Original poster

simpson · 03/02/2011 20:24

maybe tomorrows 6ft man will be better

Had a meeting with Ds's teacher today about his reading and the meeting went really well and DS has been put onto some harder books and his teacher said he is doing well

Today been much better, tbh I think its the weather, its much harder to be down when the sun is shining

OP posts:

Jellykat · 03/02/2011 21:35

Aaaahh simpson!

When things like that happen,you know you're doing a good job! That's what it's all about,eh?..

Original poster

simpson · 03/02/2011 22:51

Jk - exactly

Ds's little face as the teacher took him off to choose a harder book was a picture

And I know when H rings tomorow and I tell him, he will not be interested

OP posts:

Jellykat · 03/02/2011 23:14

Re, H-That doesn't surprise me at all!...

My DS2 is so happy, his dad phoned and has suggested paying weekly pocket money for him into a bank account,so that he has a bit of money for mobile top-ups, cinema etc..

It will help me out a bit too, all those little bus fares etc add up, but DS2 will learn about money 'management', banks etc..so i'm quite pleased with that result really.

And he says he'll help with school shoes etc, but,of course i'll have to ask each time..

sjm123 · 04/02/2011 00:30

Jellykat - that's really good :)

Hello, not been in for a while. Ex keeps on about wanting to get back together in a couple of years when we're both over each other and have built new lives. I've had to tell him it'll never happen cos it hurts me too much to keep hoping :(

Have a night out with a few girly mates on Saturday though, hopefully that'll drag me out of the really shitty place I feel in right now :)

Original poster

simpson · 04/02/2011 16:32

Oooh can I be the first to ask is it time for yet??

OP posts:

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