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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

support thread for people who find it hard as LPs...

821 replies

simpson · 16/11/2010 23:01

just wondering if this has been done before...

I have 2 Dcs (2 & 5) and am bringing them up by myself (H allowed to have phone contact only due to his fuck wittery {I love that phrase Blush Grin})

Sometimes its soooo hard doing it by myself Sad

DS had parents evening today and although his comments from teachers were fab most all of the other parents were couples.

Sometimes it hits me that I have to do everything myself Sad

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Jellykat · 24/01/2011 20:08

God, Its bloody hard isn't it!!

My XP texted middle of last week to say he still had my Christmas pressy,and would drop it into my post box,opening up communication again..So i've been really jumpy at every car sound slowing down outside all weekend, i think that was the bloody intention, trying to control ,and it worked..

Yes, i've nearly texted him,but i'm not going to... Resist Scorps, Resist!! We'll look back one day, and think Thank god i remained strong.We cannot go backwards!

Scorps · 24/01/2011 20:15

It's shit how I've really detached lately, set up so much for myself, but yet tonight it's all slipping. I won't text him, though. And it really doesn't matter what he's doing with her, I don't want to know, I know he can't spend his life mourning me etc, but still. I miss having someone that familiar in my life, I long for a safe cuddle, a snuggle in the night.

Today I'm scared of never, ever being married 'properly'.

Jellykat · 24/01/2011 20:24

Yes my inner strength vanished over the weekend too, how come??...

Scorps · 24/01/2011 20:25

I think sometimes it's just too much effort to fight it, and your brain gives up for a while, and then you start again.

I have found though that the down times are less and easier.

Jellykat · 24/01/2011 20:49

Well its been 5 weeks for me, and it does seem to be getting worse..maybe it's due to tiredness or feeling a bit ill..I suppose that is when one wants a cuddle the most..

Time and distance is the crux of the matter i guess.

Glad to hear your bad times are getting less.

Oh that rhymes! Adele eat your heart out! Grin

Scorps · 24/01/2011 20:51

5 weeks isn't very long, don't be hard on yourself at all. I'm a year now.

Jellykat · 24/01/2011 21:01

Time is a bitch..We need it to fast forward a bit..

Do you still have to do parents evenings/birthdays in each others company?

Original poster
simpson · 24/01/2011 22:03

It will be 2yrs in may since I split up with H.

Luckily he is in Ireland so he cannot come to parents eves etc...

Have not braved it and told him that my mum is ok for him to come over for a few days at Easter yet Hmm

Had some bad news about my grandmother today Sad

She has been getting incresingly confused etc and her carer went to hers this morning to help get her up & downstairs etc as normal at 7.30 am to find an empty house Shock

The police were called and tracked her down to the local hosp as she had been wondering the streets confused Sad

My mum is going to look at a care home tomorrow but tbh thinkshe will have a battle on her hands getting her to go Sad but its now obvious she cannot remain in her own home Sad

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Scorps · 24/01/2011 22:11

Oh simpson :( It's sad, isn't it. My Nan was like that too, so is ds1 great Nan. Hope she gets the help she needs.

Well i went to the last parents evening alone, i will tell him when they are and he can come or not come, i don't really care.

Am quite sad tonight :(

Original poster
simpson · 24/01/2011 22:15

Scorps - sorry you are Sad

the thing I find hard is that we all went to my grandmother's house on Boxing day and cooked a nice meal etc and little did I know it would be the last time I would go to her house iyswim Sad

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Scorps · 24/01/2011 22:17

I know exactly what you mean, but she is still that person, just a little bit hidden now. It's so difficult :(

I miss my parents today.

Scorps · 24/01/2011 22:20

Any of you on fb? We could always be FB friends, if anyone wants to.

Original poster
simpson · 24/01/2011 22:30

Scorps - are you planning to see them soon??

Yes I am always sometimes on FB Grin

PM me your email and I will find you Smile

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Original poster
simpson · 24/01/2011 22:31

I have not forgotten they are in Spain btw, just wondered if you had a trip planned...

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sjm123 · 24/01/2011 22:45

Blimey Jellykat, I would have thought it had been longer. You seem to be doing so much better than me, and it's been since 26th November for me.

I am on facebook, but I have to have my privacy levels all at the highest because of the kid's dad so I am not sure if it would be possible to find me by searching, but if you want to pm me email addys I will add you. All I do is complain on there at the moment too, and I've set up a new profile and only added people that are either friendly or neutral since the split so there's nothing on there :)

Ex is being really nice today, instead of nasty or whiney, which for some reason just seems to make me really angry Angry

Parent's evening coming up here too. I think I'll just forget to tell him tbh. I can't stomach the thought of being around him and they're actually my kids anyway so I reckon it's ok. Maybe Confused

Scorps · 24/01/2011 22:53

France Grin and not until May. Will pm you both.

Original poster
simpson · 24/01/2011 22:55

France sorry!!! Blush Blush

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Original poster
simpson · 24/01/2011 22:58

Scorps - found you Grin Grin

FB request sent Smile

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Scorps · 24/01/2011 23:06

Done!! (I'm not noseying at your photos, honest Blush)

Original poster
simpson · 24/01/2011 23:11

LOL there is not that many, i am not good with a camera Blush

And I must change my profile pic, it was taken when when I was fat and pg with DD. I am now back to a size 10

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Scorps · 24/01/2011 23:14

I'm rubbish at photos too Grin

anyway, i'm off to bed, i overslept this morning as it is!

Original poster
simpson · 24/01/2011 23:16

Turning myself in too Grin otherwise I will never get the Dcs up in the morning Blush

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evolucy7 · 24/01/2011 23:36

Hello there, can I join in Smile

Jellykat we have talked on previous threads, just read the last few pages of this, sorry to hear about your XP [big hug]

I now have a nightmare situation, my 2 children do not want to stay with their father, it started when he would not provide his new address, but it seems that this has been a catalyst for many issues that they have now raised about being unhappy with contact with him, he has gone back to court, Since August 2010 he pays £5 a week through CSA, this has reduced my income by 25% from what he did pay for 2 years, my application for a variation has been successful and I am waiting for re-calculation. I get no time off as they don't want to see him, but actually they are better behaved. I have taken legal advice regarding the fact they do want to see him, my solicitor has advised that I am being perfectly reasonable in listening to the children and offering contact with me and their father present to start to try and get contact going again, but he has refused this. It's a mess!

Jellykat · 25/01/2011 12:07

I went to bed too early i see, and missed loads! I feel massively better today despite the rain. Nearly wrote a letter to XP this morn. but then thought, No he didn't care how i felt in our relationship, he sure as hell won't give a shit now!- and made my house nice instead!.. Am just nipping into town to buy myself what the pressy was, he can shove his copy up his big fat old arse! Wink

Hello lucy - I remember, we had some fun there, it was a lovely distraction of a Thread!.. Grin

I'll be back later with coffee and lots of cream cake for anyone that would like some..
Save me a space!

Original poster
simpson · 25/01/2011 19:50

Hi lucy Grin

Ds announced this eve he has to take an old fashioned toy into school tomorrow and he has settled on a set of finger puppets, so hopefully that will do Smile

DD got a birthday card from her toddler group today and spent all afternoon clutching it and even took it to bed Shock

She said "I am little, but on saturday I will be big" Bless!!!

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