support thread for people who find it hard as LPs...

[simpson]

just wondering if this has been done before...

I have 2 Dcs (2 & 5) and am bringing them up by myself (H allowed to have phone contact only due to his fuck wittery {I love that phrase })

Sometimes its soooo hard doing it by myself

DS had parents evening today and although his comments from teachers were fab most all of the other parents were couples.

Sometimes it hits me that I have to do everything myself

H has started to see someone else. it's a girl i kinda know. im in shock and very sad and im so worried ill be alone forever and what if he likes her liked he liked me and now i have to imagine it all

Scorps - how long has he been seeing her?

He should not have been texting you stuff when seeing her as it makes it soooo much harder for you iyswim.

Am feeling very poorly today but luckily my mum is coming round in a bit to take DC out so I can sleep

Arrgghhhh! Bloody weekends! Anyone else climbing the walls?

Roll on summer when we can get out of the house without coats, hats, raincovers etc.

Well the thing is we live in a very small town and everyone gossips - there have been rumours for a long time about her, so he told me so there would be no more rumours iyswim. He said he doesn't even know what he's doing. I just said its going to happen at some point; us seeing other people i mean, its just something else i have to get over. I told him i dont think he's ready because of how he is about me but that he's to feel free, its his own life and decision iyswim. We did talk adultly about it. It makes it harder for me as she knows 2 of my closest friends, but thats kind of inevitable down here.

I dont feel jealous or anything, just my mind is running away with me and i know they're going out one week night and now i'll just dwell on it. I know logically it makees no change to my life but now i know its happening, iyswim.

Oi! solo come back.. Watcha doin?

Yes, today has been the shittiest of days..running around after everyone else-my mother has been a complete bitch, but then what's new? emailing head of year at DS2s school again due to more incompetence on their part, and my brother going completely OCD over a much younger beautiful bimbo-who quite frankly isn't that into him!..at 45, i keep telling him to go for the personality rather than the boobs, but will he listen??

Still, seeing consultant tomorrow at hosp. and M&S and Next are next door..might buy some new knicks or something

ScorpsWhat you're feeling is totally natural,you don't want him, but it's weird knowing he's with someone else.I know when i hear my XP is with someone else a part of me will be hurt, but i will think- poor woman, knowing she'll go through what i had to go through, eventually..plus in your case it's harder, being in a small town,it's in your face..At least when you do meet someone else ,it won't be on the rebound!

My DS2s dad got together with my best friend of 14 years,when DS2 was 3 months old.She had been my birthing partner for DS1, and is the mother of my niece!..We lived in a small town too then, and noone told me..It took me 4 months to work it out myself,and all the while i'd confided in her...I nearly killed her(verbally,not physically that is)I eventually moved away and started afresh.They're not together anymore,but she lost a damn good friend.

Sorry ranting there..just saying i know how it feels..and if it's any consolation i think we all probably have thoughts that we'll be by ourselves.Chin up,tits out..at least we have our DC,however much they drive us nuts at times..and who knows what the future holds..

jellykat - happy shopping

This weekend was not too bad for me as it was full of birthday parties for DCs friends so that kept us busy

Looking forward to next weekend as my friends husband is having a 40th birthday bash and all the girlies are going

My mum is having kids and today she said she will pick them up around midday on sat so I have time to buy a new outfit if £££ permit!!!

Bad, bad night and morning. Am still in pjs, my neighbour took dc to school for me. I look a mess.

We talked alot yesterday, he asked to come over but i said no. Earlier in the day when he dropped dc home he asked for a cuddle, said he wouldn't go if i didn't want him to, said he loves me, can't imagine touching anyone else, it would turn his stomach etc. So honestly i have no clue why he wants to go out with her, but whatever.

When we attended Relate we touched on his childhood and how it makes him attention seeking in his adulthood - thats why he cheated on me when we were together; attention. i think he's doing the same now, but it will only lead to later problems but that's up to him.

I guess i feel jeaous that he has someone like that when i would like that too.

I would say normally im ok and cope with the whole single mum bit however Saturday I lost the plot and sat on my stairs and just wailed my heart out for a good ten minutes. I must say it was probably brought on by a night out with my Mother who after downing huge vats of red wine told me that I lacked motivation and was in fact a very boring person! I always thought your mum was supposed to be there for you and that I was doing an ok job of rearing my son, but her comments sort of caught me off guard and really hurt. It would be nice to have some support at times and It does get a bit lonely at times!!!

cuteboots Grrrr on your mother!!

My new tumble drier has just arrived

But there is one slight problem It is one of those smaller ones that can go ontop of counter iyswim and I can't lift the fecking thing

If I had a strapping man here, then he would do it obviously

I am a lp with 1yo, I separated from my ex as he was drinking heavily after or DD was born.

My Ex has just started seeing her again as he found it 'too hard' after we split . So after spending 6 months adjusting to being just the two of us I decided to give him a chance as I didn't want to deprive our DD of a relationship with her dad, and have been taking her to visit him at his parents house.

DD cried for over an hour last night and it sounded like she was saying 'daddy' I found it really hard to settle her and was devastated that she seemed to be crying for the one thing I couldn't give her, have spent most of today close to tears at work and feeling really guilty :(

Hello..This should make you smile (remembering today is statistically supposed to be the most depressing day of the annual calender)..

DS2 and i went to see the consultant today (not bad looking actually,and a GSOH,but a foot too short, in height,not limbs..)after 1 1/4 hrs on bus to get there, i needed a pee,so i went to the loo-i just thought oh this is a different layout, they must've done some building work-noone else was in there, when i came out of the cubicle..4 MEN! weeing in urinals!!..I stood there trying to work it out, then i just said"I'm in the mens aren't i!?"("Err yes love!" came the reply).. Then i had to step out into a busy foyer..Very strange looks!, they must've thought i was a tranny..

DS2 and i haven't laughed so much for ages,what an idiot..

Ha, that's funny, how embarrassing.

jellykat - you have totally made me LOL

Feeling sorry for myself as I am still poorly (gastric flu)

It is an effort to get the kids fed/bathed etc in the eves

Just want this to pass

Simpson.. Can you sleep a bit in the day? Its been going on for ages!..Poor you

Did you manage to get the tumble drier sorted,before the bug hit you again?..been wondering..

HelloPinky-Try not to feel too guilty about your DD,she will adjust,and it's a better situation then having a ranting pisshead around!

HelloCuteboots- Yes, my mum has always been like that, i ignore her, or chuck it back, she's a fine one to talk.. but when you need support it's a real downer.Try not to listen to her,the whole 'you're doing a grand job' seems to be impossible to say, for some mums..particularly to daughters!..The light shines out of my brothers' backside however. Yeah Rrrright

jellykat - atm I am managing to sleep when DD is at playgroup/nursery in the mornings.

Yes, got tumble drier sorted although not had mental energy to get it working yet

I must be well for saturday, for my night out

Ahh good, that's something!..

Tumble drier-Well at least you can look at it! all shiny and new, soon to be ready for action!

Yes,you need to get better,pronto!..

Thanks Simpson, I know you are right it is just hard sometimes, and DD was fine and back to her smiley little self when I picked her up from nursery x

Hello all,

Had a really hard few days, with constant texts from the ex, accusing me of everything from hacking his facebook (it makes me feel sick when I see his face pop up in my feed commenting on someone else, so I'd certainly never want to look at his profile), to sleeping with friends of his and being to blame for everything that ever happened in our whole relationship, including him physically attacking me the night we split along with other really weird, totally unbelievable stuff.

So far no texts today, and I am going to change my number and not give him the new one I think. He can contact me by email if he needs to, and if something is up when the kids see him my son can call or text me.

I seem to be being totally ignored by most of our mutual friends now as well as all his friends, so I assume he's been spreading the same malicious nonsense to everyone else. He's a good salesman, and can talk for England, everyone seems to be buying it and I just don't have the energy to argue or explain to people any more.

Yesterday I passed on a bit of information to him about housing, but only what was relevant to him, and because he wanted more detail that I wasn't prepared to give he sent me 15 texts in the space of 15 minutes, all really nasty until I gave in just to shut him up and I ended up struggling not to cry at the school gate again. He reckons he's not a bully :(

I really can't take much more of his crap, and it's getting really hard to cope with anything being on my own all the bloody time. I feel like a hermit :(

On the good news side tax credits have come through, and I am going to try and force myself to start that yoga class tomorrow evening for something to do out of the house :)

Hello sjm.. By the way, how did you get on Saturday night?,was it good to get out for a while with 'grown ups'?

I think it would be good to change your number if poss.

Yes, i had that situation with DS2s dad,some friends i had known for years, wouldn't even say Hello in the street,it was pretty obvious why,he had gone off with my best friend, and then people ignored me.. They must of really told some porkies to shift the blame...
It's very upsetting being alienated like that,all i can say is those people must be thick as anything to believe it,and not realize there's 2 sides to every story!.. idiots!

Enjoy your Yoga, that'll help with the stress,glad your TC has been sorted- one less thing to think about, eh?

My Decree Nisi arrived today so now I have to wait 6wks to apply for Absolute and then I am freeeee

Jellykat - the bits I can remember were good fun. I did drink a bit too much, then pull a (way out of my league) gorgeous (too young) bloke and after a bit of a kiss have to tell him I wasn't really ready to be doing that. I really do excel at making a tit of myself. AND I fell over

Simpson - Congratulations

Simpson- Another 6 weeks.. is that in case one goes..Oh, hang on.. i've changed my mind

Yay sjm- sitting in the corner indeed!!!You pulled a gorgeous bloke for a snog,..You've still got it,admit it eh?
And falling over...sounds like a good night indeed!

I'm in a good mood because i,ve done my 'books',and caught up with major paperwork/form filling..Yeeesss that's it till the tax man in April.

Can you advise me pretty please ladies;
DS2 has a school trip coming up,and it's quite a lot of money.He's already missed 2 trips because i couldn't afford it
His dad hasn't given me any money in 13 years,the CSA did try about 8 yrs ago,but he is self employed and clever,plus at the time he had his 2 daughters(dependents) living with him half the time.
Now his DDs are 23 and 20,left home and working.Sooo,i don't want to go back to the CSA, but should i bite the bullet,admit i'm skint,and ask him for a contribution?, bearing in mind he does have a lot of extremely well paid work?

Problem is- we've only been speaking for 2 years or so,It could get his back up, and make things between him and DS2 even more erratic then it is..
Plus i am quite a proud person!

Watcha reckon??

SJM - you pulled

Jellykat - does it mean if you don't ask him that your DS can't go on the trip? If that is the case then I think you might have to bite the bullet

Am fucking fed up with DD's health problems

She has obviously eaten something and has not stopped pooing Poo dripping out of nappy onto floor