Am I being too fussy?

[salizchap]

OK, after the passing of yet another waste of space relationship, I have put a new profile on POF in the ever unrealistic optimistic hope of atracting mr right.

Is it me? 4 men have contacted me recently. Although I specifically say on my profile that I only want to date locally, the first man lives 200 miles away. The second just looks miserable and doesn't smile in any of his 10 pics. The third is unattractive and only writes 2 lines in his profile. The fourth is ok in his pic but his ortography, spelling and punctuation is awful.

None has an interesting or well paid job (full time student, lorry driver, shop worker, unemployed). I would like, for a change, date a professional man who might be able to treat me occasionally, especially as a lone parent I struggle to make ends meet. I am fed up of landing blokes who are worse with finances than me and just make my life more complicated.

Am I expecting too much? Am I being a job snob?

Big alarm bells from me, sorry. You've known him 17 days and already says you are a deciding factor in staying? Bollocks, to put it bluntly. He sees you as a bit of fun and possibly a roof over his head.

luceeloo, I would back off and see what happens.

Hi ladies, have come to join you here as JaquiChan suggested I opo my head round the door.
I've just joined a dating site, and am already having second thoughts, due to idiot man telling me I seem infatuated with my dog! Just because I have a pic of me cuddling him. Prat. Is that what I am reduced to now, lol?
Anyway, will keep all updated and will enjoy reading all about yours

Hmm...is it always this full on on a dating site? I had an e mail from a bloke just now, promising to make me happy if I will only let him, and that he is looking for an 'older lady' to date ...he is 37 and I'm 41! Not a good start, lol.

Oh I wouldn't worry about it HappyWithLife, I've had the lot. One bloke sent a picture of his erect penis to my personal e-mail address. What a hoot eh?

welcome HWL .

Meant to say that I went to MrVeryKeen's on Saturday, he was wearing slippers .

Is that a dealbreaker then Jaqui?
Am in a foul mood here today. I hadn't told my friend I was making alternate arrangements for Saturday, I wanted to prove to myself more than anyhting that she will let me down. Surprise surprise I get a text today, not apologising or anything, but saying 'Saturday looks pretty dicey'
On the other hand, me and ds were struck down with awful food poisoning on Saturday night when the Man was here, and he was so so fabulous. It's the first time he met ds, who was covered in sick, and I was projectile vomitting every 5 minutes for a good 5 hours, but he wasn't phased at all . I'm now glad that he and dd did have a little introduction a few weeks ago as he was able to go and reasure her when she woke up. If they hadn't already been introduced, the whole night would have been an even bigger disaster

slippers, shirt tucked in, quiet.....really starting to have a good think here....am seriously starting to think along the f/buddy route .

Your 'friend' is a complete nightmare!

BooBoo...sorry you weren't well but your story did remind me of the time an ex bf took DS in his prized classic sports car, and DS was promptly sick all over the front seat, dashboard, floor....

Makeyerown...hahahahahaha...eeewww.

Well dtd last night. Hurt like hell coz was first
Time since having baby but he was v kind about it. Agreed to just take it one day at a time til he decides his plans. Oh sex was after I spent 2 hours in casualty with him after he stood on a wine glass. Prat. So 7 dates in now. What do I buy/ how much do I spend on Xmas?!

Jac - slippers?! Wow bet that turned you on. Were they grandad ones or homer Simpson? Dunno what's worse!

Forgive me lucee, but are you very young? You've just goven him license to bugger off whenever he wants. You agree to go one day at a time the day you first have sex? You won't see him for dust :(

lucee, why are you sleeping with him when he could be off to Manchester?

I'm 23. Sorry if that makes me "very young".
We had the conversation about Manchester before having sex. But cheers booboo, clearly the optimist and full of encouragement. He has met my family and I've met his flat mate and friends. He's a nice guy who is simply being honest with me about his uncertainty for next year which I credit him for.

Jacqui - Why shouldnt I sleep with him?! Sorry if that causes you offence or something but we spoke in length about it before anything happened. Why am I justifying myself!?

You have a 5 month old baby and a very very new relationship. WHy the hurry to sleep with him that's all? And tbh, I am only 4 years older than you, but experience and hindsight are wonderful things. It's great that you think you're onto something good. All I'm saying is, don't be surprised when things don't work out. That 'indepth conversation' was him laying the groundwork to leave. He's got the perfect excuse hasn't he?

lucee, nope doesn't cause me any offence in the slightest.. you were on here wondering what to do about the Manchester situation and not wanting to get too involved if he was going to go....obviously your Manchester chat was satisfactory.

I was never aware that there are set ground rules on timings. Yes it's been 3 weeks which is an exceedingly short time, but I'm so lucky to have met someone I feel entirely comfortable with. I've sent him out to buy tampax for God sake! If I didnt feel entirely comfortable with him there's no way I'd have gone there. He's not going to know about Manchester for a few months, has an interview for another London job next week so who knows? I'm a glass half full kind of girl. I think life is too short to not take chances, live for each day and enjoy it. Yes it might not work forever, yes he may move, but then at the same token, if it did work, what's to say I can't go with him? I'd rather regret him leaving after a fantastic few weeks/months together, than regret not trying and not seeing what could have been. After all, he's still unsure what his work plans are. He's 27. I'm being optimistic. I was both mentally and physically abused by my ex who unfortunately is my baby's father. Mr POF is the first guy I've met in a very long time to treat me with the upmost respect and care. As I said, I'm just living for today.

It's great that you're an optimist, I know for a fact that I'm not, I'm cynical to a fault. I have just seen too many of my friends rush into things and regret it later. I think the tampax thing is actually quite indicitive of the differences between our attitudes tbh. To me that is way too familiar for 3 weeks, I wouldn't ask any favour of someone I'd been seeing such a short time.

What's the problem with a bloke - any bloke - buying tampax?!

In a long term relationship? None at all. But 3 weeks in? It's overfamiliar. Likewise, I wouldn't ask him to pick me up a pint of milk. It's too early to be doing errands for each other, you should still be in

the wooing phase imo.

And we are very much so. But wow you sound incredibly pessimistic about things! I spent the afternoon in casualty with him yesterday. That meant driving him too and from hospital. so is that wrong of me to "run an errand" for him? Or does that show that I care about him and that he wanted me to be at the hospital with him? He gave me his card and pin no to buy some food after because his foot was sore. Is that wrong too in your opinion? Everyone else I've spoken to applauds the level of trust and chemistry between us.

It's not 'wrong'. We're just going to have to agree to disagree. I think a bit of cynicism is healthy, I don't get caught up in reckless love, I need a good solid base, and trust that has built up over time. From my perspective, you are moving too fast, there can be no real trust less than 3 weeks in. You don't know each other that well. Call that cycncism, pessimism, whatever you like. To me, that's just the reality of it. I think you are caught up in lust. Nothing wrong with that, I just cannot stand when people put big meaning into a relationship so early. It's unrealistic.

There isn't any real meaning. We are two people who fancy each other, like and respect each other. And fundamentally enjoy each others company. But yes people have different attitudes to things. I'm not blasé I know there's a chance, as does he, that this may not work if he moves, but for now we r happy

Help!!! Have agreed to meet MrVeryKeen again this week but think it will be a deciding date...he is quite charming, does make me laugh, however the slippers were not a good look and he doesn't make great conversation, it's a sort of I can take him or leave him kind of thing...what do I do...give him one last go, cancel the date, if it's a no, do I tell him on the date or text him after .

Don't text him! Let him down face to face with wine inside you. But definitely don't text

Boo, how are the plans for Saturday shaping up?

MrVeryKeen has mentioned today that he will be looking for a Christmas present for me .