Am I being too fussy?

[salizchap]

OK, after the passing of yet another waste of space relationship, I have put a new profile on POF in the ever unrealistic optimistic hope of atracting mr right.

Is it me? 4 men have contacted me recently. Although I specifically say on my profile that I only want to date locally, the first man lives 200 miles away. The second just looks miserable and doesn't smile in any of his 10 pics. The third is unattractive and only writes 2 lines in his profile. The fourth is ok in his pic but his ortography, spelling and punctuation is awful.

None has an interesting or well paid job (full time student, lorry driver, shop worker, unemployed). I would like, for a change, date a professional man who might be able to treat me occasionally, especially as a lone parent I struggle to make ends meet. I am fed up of landing blokes who are worse with finances than me and just make my life more complicated.

Am I expecting too much? Am I being a job snob?

He will think I am trying to undress him . I am glad I persevered, he is quite lovely .

Thermals Boo, the only way to go!!

I might not be going now, flaky friend has yet again let me down at last minute :( Am now shitting it that she might do it next weekend for the ball. Have had a little cry this afternoon as she always seems to let me down recently, I'm beginning to think it's personal. I should say, I have her dd just as often as I ask her to have mine, which isn't often I have to say.

aww Boo, that's bad...you HAVE to get a back up for next weekend!

pof? plenty of fools that's all that's on offer there! I mean come on, just cos we are single parents, doesn't mean we are desperate ffs. Why are they all old, fat, ugly, boring or all at the same time?!

I don't think i'm particularly picky, i don't expect Brad Pitt but normal would be a good start

I keep thinking right that's it, i'm deleting my profile.... then i get bored and find myself back on there... oops

lol @ plenty of fools!

Advice please ladies....4th date tomorrow...should I go to his for dinner and film or is that too soon? We have done drinks, dinner, bowling so far...not really weather for a nice walk, says it's my choice as he suggested bowling...I definitely want somewhere that we can talk so cinema is out.

Do you feel comfortable being at his house?
I think our 4th date was at my house as it happens, babysitters were not forthcoming and I wanted to see him so it's what we've been doing since. Am havign major headache about childcare for next week. I've even signed up for Sitters online as backup, but I don't like the thought of leaving them with a stranger

Do feel comfortable with him and he has an open fire {grin].

Oh Boo, nightmare eh?? Guess you have racked your brains if you have signed up for Sitters. Did your friend say she was ok to sit next weekend? Does she know about the ball?

Open fire? It's a no brainer then
She knows, I asked her the very day after he asked me if she would do it, and she assures me she will, but I am just sorry to say that I can't rely on her :( I have to put other plans in place or I will lose my mind.
AM v at the thought of you in front of that fire. I have my scarf on and icicles on my nose

I'm freezing here as well . He said I was very welcome to come over to his and the fire anytime so how do I invite myself??

Oh yes you have to have another plan, in fact, I would rule her out all together to be honest. Guess you've done the neighbours/nursery workers as an alternative?

Have asked everyone. A v v v kind friend has offered to have them overnight but she is in a village about 20 minutes away and won't get home til 15 minutes before our taxi is due. Am asking everyone I know with a car if they can drop the kids off, and have been bribing them with booze (to drink out of the car obviously ). I'll get something sorted. I'm now in a quandry of having said I'll look after her dd tomorrow night when tbh I'd rather not. I'm not comfortable letting her down last minute like she's done with me but by golly I'd like to see how she likes it

Boo, tell her tonight that you are ill, not a lie as you have been poorly this week, then she has 24 hours to sort something else out. Don't feel bad, like you said the other day, her letting you down was feeling personal and she has no problem letting you down at a moments notice.

There's no need to lie. I discussed it at great length with dp (ah, how nice to call him that :)) last night and he said I can very reasonably say 'since I didn't get to see dp last night he is going to treat me to a special night in so I can't have your dd, sorry.'
I still feel bad about it but tbh I am fed up of being taken for a ride by this friend. A few of our mutual friends have expressed their concern that she may be a narcissist and the more I think about it the more I think they are probably right. She has no kind of comprehension that she's not just letting me down, I was meant to meet a bunch of dp's friends tonight and they'd organised tonight on the understanding that I would be there :(

@ dp.

We she sounds like dropping is a good option.

Torquay nite was cancelled. Was feeling a bit down until I had an epiphany!

I will ever find someone for me. I am too fussy. I won't settle for boring, wierd, unemployed, lazy and ugly.

And right now, I don't care. My house is a mess, and I don't care. I don't have to clean it every night after a hard day at work.

No one is irritating me with their bad habits, demanding attention, or blow jobs. My son gets school dinners, so I don't need to fuss about making healthy meals every evening. No one is complaining about my cooking not being up to standard, or that I'm not wearing sexy underwear (men seem to imagine that sexy undies just kind of appear out of no where and cost nothing IME, likewise, nice clothes). I have stubble on my legs and it doesn't matter. No one is moaning at me 'why don't you try to lose some weight' while stuffing their own face with chocolate.

I can lounge about in bed knitting, watch what I like on telly, spend my money how I like, when I like and on what I like, with no raised eyebrows or barbed comments.

Why the hell would I want a bloke to spoil all that?

... of course, that should have read, I will never, not I will ever ...

Saliz, what happened to the guy you were texting?

Boo, need your help.....know of any quiet/ish pubs in town? MrVeryKeen has suggested either a pub or his, but he put maybe it's too soon to go to his .

What's the latest on sitting your 'friends' dd tonight?

SHe left me a message on FB to say her parents could have her dd after all. She is definately avoiding me, I wish I knew why :( but at least it saves me an awkward phone call having to sayI couldn't do it
Quiet depends on the day really. Oddfellows is nice, Double Locks has a a good atmosphere, even the bar at the Picturehouse is good. Or the Fat Pig is a nice place for a drink.

Aww Boo, sounds all a bit odd doesn't it. Any further on sitter for next weekend?

Thanks for the suggestions, know Picturehouse and where Fat Pig is, having said that, he has sent a jokey text of what time can I expect you? Not sure why I am dithering as I know I will go to his place at some stage!?!?!?

Well in her FB message this morning friend has assured me she is still on but I'm not trusting her unfortunately. Lovely friend has offered to come and pick them up, but not til later which still leaves me an hour or so with noone to look after them.
'It'll all work out' has become my mantra.
I'd say '8pm, I'll bring a bottle'

You are definitely doing the right thing getting a back up for next week. How long have you been seeing him now?

Have agreed to go to his later with wine and cds!!

And condoms
Well we had our first meet on the 14th October, not that I remember these things . It feels much longer, but in a good way. My grandparents are coming up in 2 weeks time and insist that we go out every one of the 3 nights they are here, so I am really lookign forward to that, especially since one of those days is his birthday. Am in a bit of a quandry what to get him though. I do feel very secure, but we are still going very slow, not that most people believe me when I tell them that. Are you glad you gave your guy a chance now? I won't forget coming home from the second date a bit deflated, thinking hmm, not sure I fancy him actually. It was a wobble, nothing more.

condoms, really? .

Well it is good that someone is having a great time on here .

Yes, am glad I gave him another chance, he is nice and I think I am just not used to being treated nicely .

Hi ladies! Need a bit of advice so sorry to hijack, I've posted on similar threads. Met a lovely lovely guy on pof (seriously he is just gorgeous and a gentleman in every sense, never knew these two extremes could go together but hey!). We've had 6 dates in 17 days, three of which were spent cuddled up on his sofa. We've driven each other around, speak on the phone every day, and I've voiced my irrational fears of sex after childbirth 6 months ago, and he couldn't be more understanding and unforceful. We live 2 min drive apart, have loads of random similarities having lived in the same small town. Anyway I'm rambling. As I said it's been just six dates but both agreed we really really like each other and feels like we've known each other ages. Trouble is, he is unsure whether he'll be moving 250 miles up to Manchester next year. Says he's uncertain and that I may be a deciding factor. I don't want to fall for him for him to then leave. Should I just say let's leave it now so I don't get hurt or wait n see, fall for him even more, and then he moves?

What's going on in Manchester and why is he unsure if he will move?

He's a Manc originally, moved to Surrey 2years ago, hates his job and is reconsidering moving back home to be closer to friends n family n look to start a new job. He can't afford to start at the bottom of a new career ladder here but back in Manchester could do .