Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 25)

[Remotew]

Kicking this off.

Hi BeautnotMag, 3rd date sounding promising and can see you are keeping your options open.

hi lou33

nothing wrong with salsa itself but... oh, is this going to sound so wrong?!?! An European man (and this is generalising it BIG time) dancing salsa?!?! Only if he had Latin or African roots which he certainly doesn't... I'm just finding faults!!! ;-) Our of fear?!?!

Hi SB - think you may have hit the nail on the head yourself .... don't think salsa is a problem really - trainspotting or battle re-enactment might be (I kid you not, I have had grown men sending me messages who list both as interests).

And MILY, Sponge, Monty and any other Londoners/south easterners/anyone else who fancies it - I'll be drinking again by end of October/beginning of November so round then sounds like a goer for a meet!

And Sponge, please go and give yourself a kick - you know why!

SB I know what you mean. I am the least tolerant - or just v fussy! - person, and there are all manner of things that would put me off someone. dancing, liking jazz (it sounds like someone tuning up rather than playing music!) any sort of extreme sports, being a fan of Lord of the Rings/Star Trek/Star Wars etc...the list is endless

kdk, i will kick myself as instructed :)

Should I be concerned though - WM said he was going to check the time of his meeting cos he couldnt remember it, only that was on friday, and let me know over the weekend...I didnt hear from him. Is this a worry? and should I chase him?

Sponge, you could text a bit later in the week to say you've just remembered and is it still on.

Some of you are being too fussy, nothing wrong with Salsa lessons, or LOTR etc! tut tut

Still not arranged to see Neighbour again, my ardour will be dampened at this rate.

A drink in early Nov would be great, and there is just the possibility that I may have a childfree weekend by then as XH getting his act together on that front.....

on other fronts, I have finally asked him outright if he is seeing someone, since an RL friend pointed out to me that if XH plans to buy/move in with new partner, that is material to the financial settlement. And, since he has been pushing and pushing to get a share in an inheritance of mine (which I have had since I was wee and have only taken a small dividend from over the years, saving the lion's share for the children), after me waiving maintenance etc etc, I am determined to get him to fess up and recognise when to stop pushing. TBH, I don't mind the existence of OW and if it makes him happy and less resentful of me, all the better, but I do mind it being kept a secret only for him to buy a place with her with my money

do I sound like a character out of Dynasty/Emerdale ? Is not squillions, is a principle

anyway, I think I will give GMM another go as he is such good company and I think Sponge you hit the nail on the head - I was terrified of baring all the stretch marks etc (and my tiny, tiny boobs.... why am I the only person whose boobs vanished after children??), so there you go

Eve, pull your finger out

MILY !Oh er, I have a rabbit for that .

I have done all the suggesting I'm going to. Have to wait and see, I didn't want to rush into anything anyway.

No wonder he's keeping gf a secret if he's after your money. Guess he is saying that he needs somewhere to have the children to stay over and you should cough up so he can buy somewhere, then move in with gf or she move in with him whereas you are on your own. Suppose it would work that way if it was him with the money.

mily - doesnt seem at all unreasonable re XH. My Ex denied for ages he was seeing anyone - it didnt bother me in the slightest that he was, but lying about it/evading the issue was what annoyed me, as he had previously made a big deal about me telling him if I was intending to intro the boys to anyone, and then they met her while he was still telling me nothing was going on!

am not thinking about the baring all thing yet as putting cart before horse etc although the fact that WM is ridiculously good looking, fit and sporty means I struggle anyway to think he would be interested in me with my clothes on let alone off (and yes kdk before you tell me i will kick myself again!)

Who could dislike lotr, it has the smoking hot aragorn in it

Have you no taste!

Lou will admit to not liking it myself but DD does. I wouldn't discount someone unless they had a really strange hobby, they wouldn't drag me to see something like LOTR or force me to read the books, DD has tried that, but I wouldn't want a relationship where I was joined at the hip, only some of the time .

My mate does salsa and he is lovely.

I've forgotten what else I intended to say. Hmmm.

lou, Aragorn..mmmmm

so, XH denies

what to do?

eve, he is saying exactly that. Which is ok, but I dislike having wool pulled over my eyes. TBH, I am in 2 minds - I want him to have a nice place, that the girls enjoy visiting. I just feel a bit like I am being strung along, whether I do anything about it I don't know

mily - what does your solicitor say? Only asking because shortly before we split I inherited some money which my xh got to hear about. When I was getting divorced, I was advised by a barrister that I could be forced to buy somewhere for him to live in so that he could provide an adequate home for the children to spend access time in. Luckily in many ways he was deported before we ever arranged anything re financial/custodial arrangements (I was lucky that the judge took the view that he had ignored all letters about making arrangements and therefore allowed the decree nisi and absolute to go through before any financial stuff had been sorted).

Now I think it is unlikely that a judge would order me to pay him anything particularly as when he was deported he owed over £2k to the CSA.

Hi SB and Lilac and hello to everyone else.

Mily my exp only told me a month ago that he has had a girlfriend for over 3 years.He got with her the week after i finally got the courage to get rid of him.I have known all along but he has only just admitted it.I think he was hoping i would get back with him,however, a couple of months ago i was seeing an old friend of exps and he found out.It eneded badly but that is when exp told me about his gf and to be honest i'm so glad it all happened as my life is now a little easier.It probably won't last long though.

Sb nothing wrong with salsa dancing at all.I would just take it to show that he is up for a laugh and sounds quite fun.

DG sent me a good morning text and a couple of texts which i recieved after work(work with children so no phones allowed).I'm really trying not to get excited but have had a big smile on my face all day.

KDK, I am going to have a chat to the sol on Weds, tbh, I suspect I will let it go because I want a clean break, and to be fair, i am likely to earn a good deal more money than him over the next few years.

Also, read a load of articles in the Observer yesterday about non-resident parents and the hell it is and, whilst I know I am better off without XH, he is a great dad and the DDs will benefit from somewhere nice to stay with him so, maybe I should be generous and save myself the toxicity (sp?) of trying to be 'right' all the time....

BMN, I am soooooo

GMM is v sweet and good company but your grass looks greener

BMN, you are doing better than me - I sent a text before 7 and had to wait until after 1pm for a reply! I think he's been madly busy at work today, and has told me he is out tonight (grr, cos DD is at Guides and I was hoping for a chat on the phone to him). I am busy convincing myself that he would still be v keen if I hadn't slept with him already, when the reality is that he actually IS v keen and I need to get a grip. No wonder people stay single...

I think my ex was seeing someone before I moved out, he stayed away overnight quite often. He told the girls he was seeing someone in July, but in his cack handed way did 'I've started dating' and 'I want you to meet her' in the same sentence. DD1 was devastated. When he told me he had had a talk with the girls he thought I should know about, I guessed immediately what it was!

DG sounds great :o

I am still getting many texts from my nutjob veg. I seem to have a morbid fascination now with seeing where this thing goes :o He wasn't impressed when I asked if he had any single friends.

I think that given you are likely to be earning well over the next few years MILY I would probably just go with it tbh. But I am pretty much always anything for an easy life.

I have no idea if XH is seeing ?OW or not. Actually. I am pretty much sure he is not, but whether that has always been the case is another thing.

He was very proud of himself for buying a toilet brush last week. He has been living there 5 months... . I am a slattern, but even that is bad for me!

Lilac It's so confusing.I'm trying to convince myself i'm going with the flow but deep down i know i really like DG as all my insecurities have come to the surface.I worry about why any guy would fancy me a single mum with two kids.

Flame lmao at the nutjob veg.Are you really into him or not sure.I would maybe see if you can line up any more dates just to compare.

Im just watching Cherry goes dating on bbc3 in the hope to pick up some tips

Really into . I'm annoyed with myself because it wasn't meant to happen.

I had a look on POF the other night, but it was all a bit meh tbh. I intend to get a bloody good snog at the weekend if nothing else. :o I'd be ok to mention that to Carrot what with being "friends"... Tempted to just for pure intrigue at what the response would be. I ended up with DH originally because he slept with an ex and I got jealous .

I was perfectly prepared to go with the not that into me theory, so stopped contact - he carried on. Last night he was all snuggly, apologised for directing conversation to my cleavage ( top was lower than I'd noticed tbh), admitted half way through the film (he came for x factor and then stayed) that he had never had any interest in watching it previously (I announced "I'm watching Juno - are you staying or going?"), was not keen on letting me go at the end of the night, and yet still kissed my cheek . Oh, and I went with the take me as you find me approach last night - had spent the day cleaning old house so it was no makeup, crappy clothes etc.

It is the most bizarre behaviour in the world, but when it boils down to it, I have someone to have a laugh with, I'm not spending my evenings alone constantly, and I am happier than I have been in a very long time. Ok, so my sex life isn't improving, but we had a period of 12 months during the marriage (physical issues, not chosen iyswim) so I know I won't shrivel up and die And if someone sane comes along I can do what I like.

Oh yes to the insecurities btw. I am a single mum with 3 kids, still breastfeeding the 3rd (ok, that bit hasn't been mentioned). My body looks like I have had a baby within the last 12 months. I have had the year from hell and my face shows it. Let alone what I must look like naked - not helped by only having slept with one man in my life and being a smidge paranoid about being deformed and/or doing it wrong

Flame I love mn cos it's so nice to know i'm not the only one feeling this way.I wouldn't mention a snog to Carrot to be honest.Women get jealous and show it wheras men get jealous but rather than admit it tend to go completely on the defensive and say something like 'oh well good luck with that then'even if they don't mean it.

How many times have you seen Carrot?I have only seen DG twice first night i kissed him on the cheek.Second time i cheekily said ok so do i get a kiss this time.It was a very brief kiss.He seeems into me with the texts but then sometimes not so much in person.I'm hoping maybe he is just shy.

I am so worried about getting naked with DG.I'm so paranoid about my body am scared will put him off.Am also worried about doing it wrong as i haven't had much experience.Though never any complaints as such.I'm sure that neither you or I have anything to worry about.I love mn cos it's nice to know am not the only one that feels this way.

Sorry should read back what i write.Wrote i love mn twice doh.I am drinking a rather large glass of wine though.

Good to know you love MN

Nah, I probably wouldn't say anything if it came down to it.

Seen him about 7/8 times now over the last month or so. First time kissed on cheek, next few more in the way of kissing - then mad man happened and we're back to cheeks it seems . Don't think I have had a day since meeting him that he hasn't text me.