Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 25)

[Remotew]

Kicking this off.

Hi BeautnotMag, 3rd date sounding promising and can see you are keeping your options open.

I have lost count how many times i have told him stick to kids only. I have had nearly 5 years of his madness

They are 18, 13, 11 and 9

All v aware of his behaviour but obviously they still love him, but they say he is a rubbish dad

Lou i feel for you i really do.I will never be free of exp madness either and dread to think what will happen if i ever do get a more permanent man shape in my life.

On the plus side you have four beautiful children and a lovely dp from the sounds of it.

On the dating front i have a child free night as had alread booked and paid chilminder.Now no date however,date from last night text this morning to say he had a great night and really likes me and when can he see me next.If i reply with 'tonight?' will that seem a tad over enthusiastic/desperate

tell him you dont know what you are doing too far ahead but are free tonight if he is?

glad it went well

my exh is infuriating, and unable to type properly it seems

he has replied, some of which is this

"If you get a bt phone I can call them free every night I am just about suviving at the mo and I don't think that is a positve roll modal for them
the last thing I want is them "feeling they are forced to visist me" that is why I leave it to them
others might see that as me not being one of these " selfish I want my way type of dads) the fact you can't see that is a shame.

in terms of me going out and getting conkers for the boys we some might consider that with my stupid leg that showed love.

but there is a ot a lot I can do.
In terms of being a dad, well if you ever see these early tapes you put it to a mmitee I think you'll see that The love shines through over and over"

he really actually thinks he is being a good dad to them ffs

ive told him (again) its up to him to make effort and i cant do that for him, and in future just stick to talking about the kids when he contacts me, so we can avoid this email volleying

and not to expect to hear back from me

@ lou, can't really say much that will help only offer sympathy - amazing how delusional some people can be ... my xh claims he is a fantastic dad - this from a man who couldn't understand why I wouldn't let him drive his three-year-old kids in a car which he had no licence to drive and only a booster seat and who used to buy the kids lollipops when he took them out for the afternoon and bring them back wet because he forgot to ask whether they needed the loo!

Was bad enough when we were together - I came down one morning to find him lying on the sofa asleep (drunkenly I suspect ...) with our son on the outside edge with a bottle dripping formula down his neck ...

I'm like you that I've told him (over and over!) that I'll talk to him about the kids but want no other communication with him as it always ends in an argument/confrontation.

Carry on ranting here if it helps - at least your kids are old enough to see through him/work it out for themselves. I still have to play the 'daddy's fantastic' game with mine ...

thank you kdk, its so draining and sad for the kids, he really wont see what he is doing, and insists he is the one who is being done wrong by

he just sent me this but i am not going to reply, because what is the point? he just wants to rant and refuses to even answer anything about seeing them let alone supporting them

"ho hum ok whatever.

can you not see that the future means them meeting the baby etc,
You can't let the past go and just start from ground zero.
ffs can't we just start fresh and talk normally.
Listen I am not stupid i realise that at the mo with no car or resources, it ain't fun for them, I am trying to protect them ok
Just back me up up with how much I love them after all i did that for dd1 about you"

gawd stop posting for 2 days and i have 56 messaged to catch up on! Back when I have read. please don't post in the meantime

Ok, trying to post as I read things:

Welcome Beaut. I still can't get my head round multiple dating

Woohoo for WM drink/date

Lou - did you not know? Conkers make everything ok. Your ExH is a twat. On the bright side though, it does make me appreciate mine so you're doing me a favour

Really want to know what the email to the Sailor said.

Here - spent the last few days still clearing the old place with ExH. How we have gone to our easy friendship again through all this I will never know. Carrot is officially Odd with a captial O. I decided to just not bother contacting him (will reply just not initiate) as it was all too much bloody hassle for what was meant to be fun. He has text me conversation starting texts every day . Strange dwarf.

Considering going to see if Man A is still on POF. I'm a bit unsure as there wasn't that click like with Carrot, but he seemed like a nice enough bloke, and told me to contact him when I was more sorted (lied and told him I wasn't sorted properly with ExH ).

i am glad i have helped in some way flame lol

btw i have used the old "not sure i am really ready to be dating" excuse in the past

he was a right drip though

Seemed the best way to keep my options open . Can't remember his username though!!! Ooh email...

dd2 has the measure of exh i think, because on friday we saw a few conkers lying about and when i picked them up, she said "ooh you must really love us, you got us conkers"

it's funny but not at the same time iyswim

aww funny and not all at once.

Not finding him on pof. Hopefully he found a lovely girl.

i am sure he will be ok flame :)

a friend of mine just grabbed me on fb chat and told me she saw my ex in town the other day(in a pub of course), and how rotten he looked, said he looked about 60

she and her h know him from when we were together, and is disgusted at how he has been over the years, but was speechless about the latest episode

just looking in & marking my place on the new thread,been meaning to post for a while
elasta my thoughts are with you and your family x
eve you're a dark horse think you need to spill and give us all more details
sponge glad to hear that you're finally going to meet ouside 'work'
scl what's going on with you and wh?
and sympathies re:ds1 as i know how much it hurts,how's ds2 doing btw?is the knobhead ex still interfering?
lou nothing surprises me with your exh but fgs why can't he just let go?

apologies to anyone left out
and juicy where are you????!!
and fs,have to say that lou speaks alot of sense re: carrot

Hi ASBM, what news with you?

Not much to spill with me, just been on a couple of dates with someone. Got chatting to him earlier this evening on FB but haven't made a definite arrangement to see each other again, he just said he would let me know.

asbm, apparently it is me who wont let go, surely that is obvious

eve you seem quite chilled
are you feeling a bit pos here?
lou what can i say really?
what's his excuse now for finalising the divorce?
and yes i can fully understand that the kids love him even tho he's a crap dad,crap tho he is he's still their dad sadly
it's hard for them as their loyalties are being pushed
exh's aren't half shits grr...

i cant argue with you there

he says i should be getting the papers soon, but i wont hold my breath

tbh i have stopped listening to most of his drivel, i will just wait and see if it happens without holding my breath

uggh divorce is hard enough without the extra crap that he's dishing out
and dare i say it even divorced he'll still create all kinds of problems as my exh still tries to do
tbh lou it's like some equivalent of a life sentence for me

hi asbm nothing going on with me and wh - we are in touch regularly every day and meet for the odd drink when he comes up into London or we meet halfway- its nearly a year since he left my workplace and now works locally (as opposed to central London) - another good friend left on thurs - forced out by the bullying management - she has two dcs and a stay at home h so hope it all works out for her.

I applied for a job in a local school last week as office/buinsess manager - my application was a bit rushed but fingers crossed.

Still in touch with exbf.

I am on two sites but havent felt inspired by anyone who has contacted me. The stalker episode also put me off quite alot.

Have also joined weightwatchers (again) tbh I am ok with myself but must lose weight due to health reasons.

Good luck with WW SCL.

Lou I got off fb as I started feeling a bit clingy chatting to someone.

thanks eve. I thought it would give me a kickstart and then would go back to Paul McKenna

How do you find people via facebook btw - I use facebook for keeping in touch with people I know but have never used it to meet new people.

Although some friends of mine wanted me to hook up via fb with someone who has dated an eastenders actress some time ago and thought that I might like to date him!!!

I never requested him as my fb friend despite their encouragement - I mean l like geezers but that could have been a step too far IYKWIM

Ps exbf sounds like Shane Ritchie (aka Alfie Moon) PMSL

Hi SCL and everyone else.

I'm starting the Dukan tomorrow - I just need a kickstart and will do it for as long as I can stand (probably about 5 minutes). I lost weight with WW after piling it on after packing in the fags but have put on nearly a stone in the past few months.

Think I've been comfort eating as a way of avoiding having to try and meet any of the revolting guys who I get messages from in a bizarre way and as way of dealing with my anxiety re my mother's health stuff. Doesn't really make sense but I think the blokes who contact me make me feel so pissed off that I don't have any incentive - in fact the opposite - to look good.

Think for these reasons and more, it is time for me to take myself off all sites while I reassess! Have been chatting to one bloke who claims to be a pharmacist but something about him that worries me - partly his harping on about wanting to kiss me etc even when I've said that sort of message just makes me want to block him.

Just wish that for once I'd get contacted by someone who makes me want to reply or even, heaven forfend, makes me want to meet rather than the lowlife/weirdoes/OAPs and toyboys who get in touch ...

Feeling a bit down today as you may have noticed - fact that I have a sore throat and a cold coming on not helping!

Dont worry about it eve.

Asbm i feel the same.

I dont think he knows what he is saying. One email berates me for not being interested in the past and another accuses me of not letting go of it!

KDK are you on a pay sites? If so I would suggest removing your profiles and save the money atm. If it's POF then I suggest just staying on there not expecting to meet anyone at all. Just take any messages with a pinch of salt and only reply if someone interesting sends a message. I haven't had any on there for ages as I haven't logged on.