Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 24)

[Remotew]

Hello!

Just a quick hello, haven't posted since my date with GB, It's been such good weather I've spend most of my time outdoors. We didn't go on another date, suffice to say I reckon he had ishoooos. NEXT

I've just replied to somone from POF who is my own age. Hope you are all OK and will have a read later.

Can I join you lot?

I am a regular, but my single life I want to keep quiet from my usual name for a while iyswim. I am generally a firey bird though.

Joined POF about 10 days ago. Obviously have my share of creeps, but I am talking to 3 blokes who are so different, but making me smile lots.

#1 - Seems all quiet and gentle. Very serious seeming and like he would be lovely. He wants to meet me.

#2 - Just one liners but a warped sense of humour

#3 - Freakishly perfect sounding. I am sure he must have a wife or be an axe murderer or something. We just seem to have clicked, having lots of random questions being fired back and forth (those getting to know you type ones), and the majority is eerily matching.

But, what is the etiquette with meeting etc? In my order of preference it goes 3, 1, 2 (mainly because I don't know 2 much iyswim). I would like to meet 3, but don't want to initiate it. I get on well with 1, but am scared of meeting him as he seems too "nice" iyswim and he seems so keen on love. I'm fine with meeting them both aren't I? They could both hate me in person.

Going to go and read back through the thread a bit to get to know everyone on here :o

Hi GreenDemon, you can meet both or all three. If they are backward in coming forward then a gentle nudge rather than asking them out outright would be the best approach. Sounds like you've got on great seeing as it's only been 10 days. I was on it for 18 months once and only ever actually met one person, mind you I'm useless.

Don't forget, you can have great banter on-line, like their photo, then be dissapointed when you meet due to lack of that all important chemistry, and vice versa of course.

way hey elasta
you kept that one quiet lol
hi gd!
it's a bit of a minefield tbh and as long as you view it all quite light heartedly you'll be fine
i'd say to go and meet no 1 he might well be nice and then wait for no 3 to initiate a date
obv remember all the usual common sense dating rules blah blah blah
eve more info needed me thinks

hi gd

what asbm says :)

Had a catch up.

Elasta very good! Hope he isn't sailing off into the sunset anytime soon.

Feel for you all going through the problems with exes. Even though DD's dad and I weren't married I can remember the early days being horrible as far and he was concerned. So bad that I haven't spoken to him for years, barely acknowledge his existence. Last time we bumped into him DD was chatting and I stood out of the way. They asked what I was doing but I cannot bring myself to speak to him ever again. Very sad for DD, I know.

ASBM more info on what? .

evening

Green demon I am ! I have been on singlewithkids and guardiansoulmates for the last couple of weeks and have got nowhere....literally none of those I have emailed has mailed me back

for those who were around over the weekend and being lovely and helpful when I was wallowing re XH, the good news is he seems to be very keen for it all to be amicable and has even asked if we could use the same solicitor. Whilst this may not be practical (I have asked my sol for advice) at leats it shows the right kind of intentions so I am feeling much better. I do realise it may be all down hill from here of course.....

Lou, how's gorgeous pup doing?

Things is I've been on dating sites on and off for years and I find that the ones you send messages to don't reply often and if they do they are usually luke warm. I find if they message you first they are chuffed if you reply so more open to keep chatting and to meet you. Not fair is it as you don't get to do the choosing?

GreenDemon, have you sent messages to these three first or have the messaged you?

all the ones who choose me are...........how do I put ths? ......

Same with me but say 10% are OK so will message back and maybe meet one of them so that's 1%. Not great is it. I feel a bit desperate sending the first message.

Perhaps we should do what they do. Send multiple message and feel grateful if we get a reply. Second thoughts maybe not.

I'm with you mummy - I've been on and off the sites for a couple of years now (god, is it really that long??) and tend to find it completely a bit depressing.

I get messages from assorted munters, weirdoes, psychoes, married men, pensioners, toyboys and men who don't really know what they want! Anyone I think looks (or sounds) okay, doesn't seem to be interested in me

Not sure if it's my looks, my profile, my kids or my age - but have pretty much given up on meeting anyone - at least through internet dating though am considering this - least there might be the possibility of eyes meeting across a crowded room/old style attraction!

If any of the London/south east ladies would like to give me moral support join me ...

Someone on here said to put something in your profile saying you want a certain thing mentioned in your subject line, so I have done that and just deleted anyone who didn't bother.

#1 I messaged after he'd read my profile
#2 I can't remember!
#3 We sent messages to each other at the same time pretty much

He has just informed me that he loves glee and x factor. The man has a zombie plan and he admits to liking cheesy tv. I is clearly a psychopath isn't he? If you'd asked me a fortnight ago if I wanted to see anyone else since/other than DH, I would have been dubious... but I have spent the last few days checking for replies often and grinning at each message from him. I'm sure it can't go on. We'll probably meet each other and hate each other, but right now I'm all teen crush.

Hi All, Welcome GD!

Wasnt hiding my date with sailor, just all a bit short notice, he called me on friday and said lets meet Monday night!!

Had a lovely evening and a few texts since, all very joky but slowly getting more and more flirty .

Sadly, he is yet another that lives miles away, though he doesnt seem to mind driving and he does have a very fast car - will let you know what develops!

On the subject of dating. I message men I like the look of but dont necessarily expect a reply - sorry to be cynical but it is a bit of a numbers game. I make it clear up front that I would rather meet in RL than cyberchat - I dont like the idea of thinking I am getting to know someone on line before meeting them for real, and Im not looking for a virtual boyfriend. I meet loads of people in RL through work and reckon I can get the measure of someone face to face much quicker. Was in sales for years and have worked as an executive coach, so have no problem talking to strangers or getting them to talk to me. I talk to them on the phone and if we have an interesting fun conversation I will meet them. If I dont like the sound of them, or they are boring on the phone I dont arrange to meet and quietly disappear.

But above all, if you want to go internet dating you must grow a thick skin and dont take it personally. It is just a game and a fun one at that

With sailor, we have sent 2 messages and had one call before meeting. He says this is a record for him as most women arent nearly as brave (or stupid - make up your own mind) as that! IMO life is far too short not to go out and meet people you might like.

Elasta, am of your view re meeting up - I prefer that. Glad you had a lovely evening, shame about the distance. I messaged a bloke last night who is too far away but he looked and sounded so lovely I thought why not - just said best of luck with the quest....didn't expect anything back....and got lovely message from him this morning, which is a first . But he has dcs too and isn't up in London much so that is that....

KDK, your MN photo is lovely so that can't be it. I wondered about the kids thing too - maybe puts them off, even if they have their own.

I would definitely be up for a night out and providing moral support

GD, what is a zombie plan???

KDK did you ever contact the one I put you onto?

I think the age / kids thing can be an issue. I get a lot of interest from men who are IMO far too old for me. If you are not my agish or pretty fit Im just not interested, but I am a bit of an action girl.

Not in london or the south east but always up for hunting in packs a night out

Lol @ hunting in packs :o

Zombie plan = plan for what to do when zombies happen . It is a Very Important thing to a) have one and b) have compatible ones. Not only does this bloke have one, but he was the one who brought up the subject :o

I have no idea why I have done ok in such a short space of time. I think more luck than judgement. I have a fuzzy photo for my main one, and have deliberately not got one that shows my breasts as they tend to make friends easily and I would rather them NOT be the cause. I've said in my profile that I have 3 children, but that I am not looking for a father for them as they already have one of those.

where are you elasta?

Oops! Does it really matter if you use your usual name. I don't know you anyway.

Its more on the off chance of being searched. My name is known by many rl friends and I don't want to discuss this in rl just yet iysiwm

Hi I live in the east mids just south of Derby, but used to live in St Albans. I do spend a fair bit of time in the SE as thats where most of my clients are - am a management consultant.

Dont worry FSP we wont tell anyone you are here! I used to be self cncious about internet dating - now I do it mainly for the amusement of my married girlfriends

Eve - having a senior moment - jog my memory please!

TBH, I've been a bit, shall we say, creative with my age but don't want to overdo it as seems to be a bit hypocritical saying you demand honesty/integrity etc but have lied significantly about one's own age ... but found when I was honest I got too many over-70s. Still find blokes my own age very thin on the ground - especially ones who don't look like they've lost a decade somewhere along the way! That or really let themselves go ...

My pet hate is the 'hunny/sexy/crap spelling/grammar ... or just downright creepy .... as in 'Beautiful things happens to those who seek,find and accept good things into their life. I read your profile with keen interest and honestly i adore everything about you. I want to take this God-Given opportunity to get to know you much better,i believe deep down my heart that you are a person worth having a reasonable and decent conversation with as well as getting to know much better. for,I wish you all the best in your search . Looking to read more from you as i think you are the right choice,i am wishing you a wonderful day and i hope you enjoy it. '

Shudder. This is from a 58year-old in BAyonne (I think USA)

Elasta, my Dsis is in Melbourne so I know your neck of the woods and I am near St Albans. All my married girlsfriends are egging me on like mad to internet date - they get vicarious pleasure from it . Trouble is I have no single friends, not a one, and therefore hunting in packs not an option....

KDK, agree with all that. Plus the rather sad (and strangely entirely unattractive )essays from overseas blokes, usually in London (they all come up for me as I am just outside M25) listing their attributes like a livestock description and looking for age range 20-40.....

KDK, Art Director on POF, username initials CJ. Not sure if he is still on the site.