Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 24)

[Remotew]

Hello!

eddie is in the house!

pic of him napping on my sofa here

aaw lou he's lovely.

had a bit of a weird afternoon - met RL friend - took dcs along. I thought I would get free parking on a Sunday enabling me to have enough money to get a snack but in the event had to put in underground car park costing seven pounds.

DCs were a bit hungry and I kept telling them they could only have a very small thing. We stopped somewhere and my friend paid but it seemed awkward as she didn't say oh its ok I'll pay or offer to lend me a tenner.

I felt sooo embarassed and wished that we hadn't gone. At the end of the afternoon she gave dcs some money for their hols and has also offered to take me out on my birthday. So it's not as if she isn't generous - and I didn't want her to feel pressured.

If it was in reverse and I had the money and my friend was short I would have reassured her and just paid up or offered her a tenner.

Not sure what I am trying to say here but the whole afternoon felt a bit awkward - dcs were playing up too.

Never mind we are back now and have just demolished a lovely roast dinner

ty :)

your friend sounds lovely and you shouldnt feel odd about it, tbh it sounds like stuff i do with my closest friends, when one of us is skint and the other isnt, we do that kind of thing without a second thought

but i did laugh at how you referred to her as a rl friend, did you think we might assume you didnt have any?

we had a roast leg of lamb tonight, was delicious

tee hee as opposed to my imaginary friends

Awww thank you everyone for my birthday wishes!

I had a nice quiet day with DS. Well quietish.

He starts school on Thursday...how time flies!

Lou, your new puppy is gorgeous.

Awesome, as DS would say :)

morning all

Lou, love the puppy and also the leg of lamb concept.......as I finally replaced rusty roasting tin yesterday I may just have to christen it with some lamb

Well, I dusted myself off and had a much better day yesterday, helped by nice response from XH to my email re laundry, boundaries and divorce progress. He wants to chat to his bro about the latter, as he has been through it (albeit not with kids involved) and this relieves me massively as my DBIL is lovely and very reasonable bloke who I am on vg terms with (his 2nd wife now 1 of my best friends which helps) and he adores his nieces so will hopefully help bring that perspective to XH thinking. One can but hope

also sent off a few more messages on GSM so who knows - was reading a couple of other threads where various of you have commented about online dating which was v helpful in terms of remembering not to take it all too seriously

Lou, can't recall exactly which thread (might even have been a much earlier version of this one) and you said about the behaviour of an online blokey - 'well, that would make him a cock, wouldn't it?' and I pmsl because you are so right

Janos, not come across you 'live' before, but hope birthday was good

catch up later

And i would still agree with the earlier cock post lol

hello all, found you on new thread :)

lots of crap at end of last week from the evil Ex (and now his family who have started to stick their 2p in as well). Is all v boring - just the same old stuff really - but suffice to say am going to have to formalise everything legally because am literally at end of my tether with him now. he is making it easy though as sent DS1 a birthday card signed rather than Dad He's not DS1's bio dad but has been in his life since DS1 was tiny (and DS1 has always called Ex dad...and has no contact with his bio dad and never has had).

Have let Ds2 go on holiday. Still not sure I've done the right thing.

in other news, wedding man will be round on thurs....will be offering him dinner (no doubt he will refuse, to cap off a great last 7 days!)

Hope everyone is having a better time than me, although Mily, it sounds as though your Ex is as much of a pain as mine, just in different ways!

Hatesponge, I've got a DSS obtained in much the same way as your 'evil Ex'. I'm not sure if I made the signing mistake with my non-bio or bio DS, (man sounds like my DCs are soap powders!?!) but I know I've put my name instead of Dad once. I've also organised DCs birthday party at laser quest once ... and forgot to add my own DCs when booking it. I've put tooth under the kids pillow for the tooth fairy ... waited for them to goto sleep, and then fallen asleep myself DOH.

Does anyone else make these kind of dumb mistakes or am I just a loser parent?

WaN - you don't sound like a loser parent..there is a backstory to my Ex, which includes the fact that this week he is on holiday with just DS2 because he couldn't afford (allegedly) to take DS1. The holiday is an all inclusive week in the Canaries (so not some Sun £9.50 holiday...which I have nothing against, but just to show it is not a v v cheap holiday) and my Ex is not destitute, he has a tax free income of over £30k per annum (he owns his own co so pays himself in divdends which don't attract income tax). He could have taken both children on a cheaper holiday, but chose not to. Similarly, whilst he could have signed his name rather than Dad by accident, the above, plus the fact he hasn't see DS1 in the last couple of months (and the last time he did he left him to walk home to my house on his own at 7.30pm because he was too busy to give him a lift back) kind of makes me think it wasn't a simple error and was deliberate. DS1 hasnt noticed, but I have.

Sorry to go on at length, but after being told by Exs family that I am unreasonable and over-dramatic, I am feeling somewhat touchy at present.....

Hatesponge [gasp] at pants behavious of your ex - so horribley thoughtless if unintended and positively evil if intentional

W+N not loser by the sound of it, I have tooth fairy inflation going on as 'she' keeps failing to turn up on the right night. To be fair on one occasion was 2 days after idiot X walked out so I was a bit distracted

Hatesp, doubt you are as your x-inlaws state - far easier for them to paint you in that way to ease their minds about their son's behaviour than to acknowledge you may be right and he therefore is an arse....

I got both barrels from my FIL after XH left to the tune of 'I may not condone what he has done but I can understand why he did it, you really brought it on yourself you know'.... the fact that i didn't disillusion him and reveal xh's penchant for porn chat rooms etc is something I am rather proud of - made me feel like the better person anyway

Mily - am with you re the inlaws thing! I have always taken the higher ground - have never told them about all the DV stuff I went through with Ex (more verbal abuse/bullying than violence although there was some of that as well).

When I was having words with them on Thurs night I said that the current situation was the final straw and there was LOTS of stuff that I could have taken action about at the time but didnt because I wanted to give their son one last chance (and another, and another...). Their response was 'oh, we dont want to get involved with what went on between you in the past, there's always fault on both sides' which rather suggests if they had known they would have brushed it under the carpet. Or probably told me it was my fault

hatesponge sorry I'm not on any wind up mission, I too have been on a holiday but I took both my bio and non-bio DCs with me. Now I know that she and her husband are having financial problems, (hasn't stopped them from holidaying in Span while I had kids over half term mumble mumble). Now I don't expect her to pay for DSS to holiday with me, it's simply not going to happen. I don't know if she get's maintenance from DSS absent farther but I've never received any form of support for looking after DSS by anyone!

I know my brain swims with, "is the Ex using the DCs to exploit me", "why does this bother me, I'm certainly more finacially secure than she is", "is it fair that I'm where I am and she's where she is". "is it that I want some form of special recognition for looking after DSS and am I being selfish or discriminatory towards DSS in someway if I am after such things"

sounds like my inlaws

I have got a delightful MIL who is very much the bridge-building type and can see that the D(G)Cs are the priority. I would never disillusion her about her DS tbh as I wouldn't want to hurt her. My FIL on the other hand is a piece of work but at 66 is never going to change his antiquated view of the word and women so would be a waste of breath trying. I just hope he can keep from interfering helping in the DV process......luckily both XH and DBIL have told him what to do with his 'help' on various subjects in the past so he should have learnt

TBH I feel for my MIL, she must have spent 40+ years biting her lip over the man.........

*world not word....

WaN, thats ok, I am a bit prickly about it, I didnt think you were having a go but just wanted to make it clear I'm not am a screaming harridan (as the ladies who have met me will hopefully verify!) out to get every penny from the Ex, or being unreasonable to him/horrible about him for the sake of it. I do honestly think I have bent over backwards (metaphorically, too old to do it literally any more :) ) for him, and it's made no difference!

Mily, i think Ex's family have the same sort of antiquated ideas as your FIL. They've certainly never shown any interest in me til now, as clearly evidenced by the fact that when I was talking to them, they asked what my family thought about the current situation. I told them that both my parents are deceased (they sadly died 13 and 16 years ago, long before I had the DC, and before I met the Ex in 2000...therefore I've had no family all the time I've known him and his parents) to which they said oh we didnt know that. When did it happen?

I cant imagine either of my DSs in the future having a DP for any length of time without me knowing their family situation, or indeed even meeting their family.

Hello?

anybody in here?

hic, glass

Hiya mummyilubyou (wonderful name btw) nice to 'meet' you :).

How are you doing tonight?

I've read over the last few PIL posts and boy do they ring a bell! I think it's easier for them to paint us as mad/horrible/vindictive etc etc than admit their child is even slightly in the wrong.

Well, that's their look out IMO - however I'm a few years down the line and don't care much what they think about me, as long as DS doesn't get drawn into any nastiness

Hatesponge, your XH sounds unbelievably cruel. Thank God your DS1 hasn't noticed. Any sort of calculated cruelty to a child, of whatever type, makes me very angry so I can only imagine how you feel.

Hi all, just checking in.

Guess what? Have Been out on a date tonight!! With sailor, spoke to him on the phone for an hour on Friday and he was really keen to meet. Have just had really nice meal in pub by a river.

He is interesting, loads of fun and definately a spark there. As he left kissed me and said how he enjoyed the evening and asked if he could take me out again. Has brightened my week up no end and its only monday

Morning

Sorry no response to your nice friendly msg Janos, I went offline after I peered round the door as I had an early start this morn

Elasta, can't believe your news was met with echoing silence , it deserved a big round of applause

Can't wait to hear more details

Have a great day everyone, see you this eve

Hi Mummy! Hi All!

Got up a bit late this morning as kids are away and I am working at home today. Feeling just a bit tired so its going to be a quiet day today