Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 24)

[Remotew]

Hello!

I am in my new home.

So many conflicting emotions yesterday - anger at DH, sorrow at wtf happened, love as he knew I was seriously pissed off with him and he still just came in and held me, my random conflicting feelings of missing Carrot and at the same time just wanting DH to tell me it is all some stupid nightmare.

We are better like this. We're both happier. I just can't see how the hell this happened :(

Lou - I will probably take that method with Carrot when I next see him.

Have a fun date lilac21, doesn't sound like a bad age gap and i'm sure your friends will wish you good luck.

My arm is no better. I cant use it v well and it kept me awake last night

I spent the afternoon with my kiwi toyboy , since it turned out DDs were with their dad til teatime. We had lunch, then a leisurely walk from London Bridge to Westminster Bridge along the south bank, a drink in a pub and a snog at the tube station He's growing on me but I'm keeping it in perspective, have only met him twice!

He has no idea what he wants. He likes me but is scared of a relationship. I feel like I should run screaming as this can surely only end badly right? But the thing is sooooooooooooo present.

Flame, you need to do what Lou said, if nothing else to let of steam

Lou, you could have chipped the bone, any pain that keeps you awake is worth getting x-rayed for - go do it!

Lilac, great news, that sounds like a fabulous way to spend a sunday

Well, I have had a lovely weekend, great time with dds and friends, plus a really nice evening just now with GMM at a v relaxed-but-yummy-food pub and a mega snog.....you know I said I was a bit meh? WTF was I talking about?? We get on so well, he is totally lovely and i have tingles all over thinking about that kiss.....

I have an all-night (or at least, wee-small hrs) pass next Saturday and I'm thinking...........

Ohh, well done mummy!! Glad it is going well for you

Lilac, mummy all sounding good. I went out this afternoon on a date. OK I was a bit meh about the photo but then thought if I got a photo of Trevor Eve (just watching bouquet again!) I wouldn't really fancy him but if I met him I would. I was trying to go older rather than my usual toyboys. Get the picture?

Well this didn't turn out like that poor guy he's been emailing me for a year and a half. Perfectly nice but gawd not for me. Bought me a nice lunch though. Not snogs there, I shook his hand.

Still waiting to see if my soon to be new neighbour will suggest meeting up again.

hey elasta, hope your time with your mum was good iyswim

eve, rofl at handshake, also the Trevor Eve Test (do you find same for bloke who was Judge John Deed?? only time I have ever put up with watching Jenny Seagrove in anything...)

Ooh yay Mummy!

Am I being nuts? Should I just walk away now? He says he completely understands if I don't want to hang about whilst he pisses about working out what he wants.

Love the TET

eve, a year and a half?!! That's exactly why I met this guy two days after the first message, I don't want to be emailing someone who, on a first date, makes me want to run away before they spot me

mummy, don't think I know that one. Will check it out.

Flame, I really don't think you need someone being unsure this way at this time. It's easy to transfer feelings onto another person in this situation and I am speaking from experience of something similar when my marriage broke down, it's just too confusing and hard to think straight. Carrot should back of unless he's going to be there to support you. Sorry if I'm being blunt and whilst it's great that you can have feelings for someone else it's not unless they can reciprocate.

Lilac, it was unusual for me. He lives abroad and would send an email now and again, which I would reply to in a general chatty way, words on a screen are cheap anyway.

First time he's travelled back to UK so wanted to take me out. He invited us (DD and I) to where he lives which is a winter resort but obviously I won't take him up on it. Guess we didn't click which is putting it politely.

I have vowed never to do internet dating again.

Ok. I sent him a message telling him that I am disappearing for a while so he can over think and work himself out. (Never thought someone existed who could think more than me... ). Told him that I just don't have it in me to get more involved than I ever intended only to get hurt again, as the more time we spend together, the easier it is getting to. He knows that I started out with him planned as rebound guy (and then stopped being rebound guy), so he will understand what I mean by that.

God this sucks. He was meant to be my bit of fun, not all these bloody feelings :(

morning all. Sorry to hear so many of you are having such a hard time one way and another, will be thinking of you all and wishing you strength in what you have to deal with.

FS, dont be hard on yourself. from my point of view I've never been very good at having fun. I can manage a one off snog, or even (when I was younger and men actually wanted to shag me) the odd one night stand, without too much angst or upset, because I didnt want to see them again. the ones I did then date were ones I did like, and then inevitably developed annoying - and usually unreciprocated - feelings for....so give it time and wait and see what happens.

I went to a big black tie work do on Friday which was fab. ended up having quite deep conversation with my best male work friend (who is WM's mate) and told him how I feel about WM..well the abridged version anyway - including about the 29 texts he sent me in one evening Don't know what, if anything, will come of it but am glad I said something.

Trying to remain optimistic and que sera sera about it all....

Morning. My arm is totally fine today, so i can only guess it was nerve related.

And for the first time since 14th.August the exh called the dcs. He didnt make plans to see them tho. The closest he got was to say to ds2 he would see him next time i drove him over, and replying to dd2 asking when he was seeing them by saying that he was always at home

Ffs he is pathetic. He didnt even ask if they were free any weekends let alone say when he would like to see them

Hi All, Just checking in. Am back at work today, off tonight to see mum again, she is going downhill very quickly

Have had lots of support from my friends in RL, but the two people who have conspicuously not offered and help or support are my ex, who hasnt offered to take the kids a bit more so I can spend time with mum and sailor, who I havent heard from in a good few days now. I guess that tells me everything I need to know about both of them, selfish w**nkers. If sailor does reappear he better have a damm good excuse for dissapearing. My gut feel tells me I wont be hearing from him though.

Nothing happening on the dating front, no real appetite for it at the moment.

Hi elasta, thoughts are with you, glad people are being supportive - waste no further thought or emotion on the 2 you mention, you need it all for your mum, your DCs and yourself (((((((((()))))))))))

Glad your arm better Lou. My DD1 shut her little finger in the car door yesterday and I was in 2 minds about A&E....didn't go and it's alright but I was worried my 'rub it better, it'll be fine' general approach was a bit laissez faire this time

your XH, , ...........

as to dating

Sponge, glad you had a good night, hopefully the message will get through to WM. Any alternatives on the horizon?

FS, ball firmly in carrot's court now which is good. If there are any spare funds after the move, any chance of you getting out with your RL girlfriends for a giggle to take your mind off it all?

Eve, remind me about the soon to be new neighbour (STBNN )?

I guess we all live and learn. All the misgivings I had re sailor that I had pushed out of my mind have turned out to be true.

Think he was just up for a good time and when my life has got more complicated has dissapeared fast. Good riddance.

Must learn to trust my gut feel more in future and not get distracted by lust

lust can be great at the right time

Well done MILY, you are right as usual, mind you he was pretty good Havent rubn since last week, will take my running kit down to mums and see if I can get out to the beach

Glad you arm is back in working order Lou

Oh some of you are going through a rough time. Agree that these men don't deserve a second thought. Easier said than done.

I've had a message from the guy from yesterday, trying to make arrangements. Will have to think of a way to tell him straight.

Just arranging a date with my local friend, so probably tell him the truth that I've started seeing someone.

It is possible not to get distracted by lust?!

Grrr @ Lou XH (and Elasta's men)

Yay for chat with WM's mate.

Yup, ball firmly in Carrot court. How have I gone from a man who can't think anything emotional in the slightest, to one that can even outthink me?! He has replied saying he's sorry for being so confusing, he called me sane and stable (which has got to be a first!), and says he is trying to get sorted quickly. He clearly likes me as when he was leaving last night I assumed he was just going to hug and run, and he went for much more. I could understand it if he a) didn't fancy me b) just wanted a fling or c) not like me personality-wise but he seems to fancy me, not want a fling, and we clearly get on as he wants to keep seeing me but not want something proper either. It is this weird limbo situation - friends with slight perks rather than benefits?! :o Or in other terms - been together a year or so so that first rarghness is over, and the comfortable bit is there.