Where have all the fit, interesting and available men gone (part 24)

[Remotew]

Hello!

Elasta - I'm not sure what to say, but . It sounds as though you and db are good support for each other and for your dm. Will be thinking about you.

FS - If you are right, how will you feel? We're here anyway.

Lou - that's fab about dd's job, it's a weight off your shoulders when they get a bit of their own dosh.

Eve - handshake . Was it Irish that shook Juice's hand once?
I hope dd can manage to hold her job down as it does help. It might just take her a while to settle in to her new routine.

SCL - Are you taking exh up on xmas lunch offer?

Mummy - lucky escape with Prof! Phew!

Aurora - do you have news??

All quiet here, nothing to report. Al around but we're not getting much chance to talk. Life's so blardy busy all the time.

Hi to everyone else.

A moron tbh. Even though everyone has been screaming at me that they are together, something in me has that bit of trust still. When that bit goes I am both a moron for trying to believe in the man I love (and defending him), and I will also lose my marriage memories as if I can't trust this, then I have no idea what else was lies.

I know they did nothing physical whilst we were together. that much I trust 100%. The rest, f*ck knows.

Still nothing from either XH or Carrot :( Text XH (had to about something else) and said that I was assuming his silence was his normal silence and not ominous.... nothing (not even response to the thing I was texting about).

Desperately want to text Carrot

Bloody man hadn't read his messages. He says he is happy on his own atm.

hey Flame

sorry, I didn't mean to put my foot in it earlier when I waffled on about depression - I completely forgot the bit of your situation that I did know about - am crap

if it is any help re XH, trust and carrot....I have similar issues about what was true and what not, how long decption stuff had been going on etc etc and the only way i can deal is by drawing a line in my mind saying, that's it, not going to let this spoil those memories. XH has made it abundantly clear we are over (he only came back to try again in Feb-May time because he didn't like living on what he earned without my salary to cushion him ) and now we move on. My DD1 likes looking at our wedding album for e.g. and I like doing that with her knowing I can say in all honesty it was a very happy day

if carrot is the real deal, you can text him as much as you like

Hey monty, good to hear from you

No you didn't! It was just me musing :)

Text Carrot in the end :)

Hi all, we are hanging in there. Have managed to get rond the clock care for mum so she can stay in her home, starts tomorrow.

Have talked to her on the phone tonight, she sounds terrible but is reasonably cheerful. She has an MRI on Fri as she seems to have secondaries and a meeting with the team next week to decide a treatment plan.

Talking to my brothers and DSIL several times a day. Fortunatley we get on really well. Feeling a bit shell shocked by it all but are doing our best.

feel I have hijacked the thread a bit as it is supposed to be about dating. Cant even think about that ATM, though wouldnt mind a stress relieving snog with sailor, but it isnt going to happen.

He did say would try to meet this weekend but my priority is to be with mum

elasta, no worries re the thread, we all do it at some point. I will be right there after my chat with XH on Fri night I suspect - can we all make a date to meet virtually at about 11pm with a restorative glass of something?!

@ elasta - sometimes dating and the pointless and futile search for fit, interesting and available men is just that - pointless and futile - and pretty much meaningless!

Wishing you lots of love, support and strength - as mummy said, we've all sidetracked/hijacked the thread at times so please don't worry about that.

elasta i'm thinking of you all at this terrible time x

morning

elasta - am sorry to hear about your mom but glad you've got care for her so she's at home (((((((()))))))

flame - hugs for you too (((((()))))
good for you for texting carrot (can i ask why the nicknake? i haven't been able to catch up on evrything fwiw, i no longer trust x either and am rather suspicious about what he's upto hwen he starts being nice for no apparent reason.

handshake - ??? (sorry, i can't remember who had the handshake) but then you can someties tell a lot about aperson from their handshake (and what theymight think of you).

right i have news

just as i was going to ask ninah to budge up on the sofa, got used to being single etc. i have met someone - i cna't call himn carrot cos that name's taken hmmm - how about dock green?he's a community policeman so there's a clue. pc plod he ain't

sorry i hope everyone else ok?

Aurora, how did you meet him? Hope it goes well.

It was me who got the handshake, he must have preferred that to the thought of giving me a kiss! Poor guy, I must have turned his stomach. Agree with KDK, the search for a fit, interesting and available man is futile and I'm giving up.

quick one from me. bit of an eventful few days - DS1 has been ill again and ended up in A&E on Sun night. He's a lot better now but went to school without taking tablets today so will probably be worse again later :( and we got burgled on Friday & all my jewellery taken :(

Could be worse I know, it's only stuff and can be replaced.

Elasta can only echo what kdk has said, wishing you strength at this v difficult time.

Hope you all are well - aurora will need more details on dock green :)

sponge - can you take your tablets now sweetheart? am glad ds1 has been feeling a lot better.

eve - had someone in back garden last saturday and back door was wide open too - tho i was in house. he was community copper who came to door on day when i'd got migraine, not wearing make-up, no housework done, feeling rough and delicate
gotta go sorry time up on library pc

oh sponge
eve i v much doubt it! is this the bloke who you knew things about?
aurora spill

Ooh yay for Dock Green :o

:( HS

Carrot is Carrot because we had a conversation early on that he was an axe wielding dwarf. It turned out he was 6ft and ginger. Corporal/Captain Carrot in Discworld is a 6ft ginger dwarf :o

I have no idea what the situation is with XH. Either they have broken up. Or he genuinely never had any interest in her. In which case, she either didn't either (which I can't see as otherwise why would you put up with being accused of affairs regularly?), or she has realised that if he hasn't done anything in this long, then he isn't going to and she may as well get our friendship back.

I am back to having convinced myself that carrot has gone off me.

Eve - NO. No stomach churning. Maybe didn't feel the "thing" but that doesn't mean you are hideous .

Thinking about throwing in the towel.

I am spending all my time doubting him. When we are together we have a really good time (lots of laughter etc) but he will kiss me then suddenly back off. It isn't the sex thing as such, just that I am starting to think we click personalities, but he just doesn't fancy me. This was meant to be a fun, someone to go out with on occasion thing, not these bloody feelings. I didn't think I could have feelings atm, but I have too many and I'm scared and confused and don't want to get hurt.

Oh Flame! It is really hard and it isnt just you. The moment we meet someone we like, it generates a whole pile of hopes and fears about will it, wont it work out

I feel the same in a way about sailor. But the way I see it atm is that it is all a journey. It is good for my soul, and whichever way it goes it is putting something new in place of my past relationship with my EX.

If it doesnt work out I will have learnt that I am still attractive to other men and discovered something more about myself that I will take forward into whatever comes next

Update on mum, nurse has arrived, seems lovely and knows her stuff, so at least mum is now safe in her own home. I have got her put on morphine from the GP, so we can better manage her pain and she seems a bit more comfortable this evening

Now I am going for a run to try and reduce my stress levels so I can sleep better. Havent run in ages but just feel that I need to start

I like the journey theory.

I have never done dating. I had a boyfriend for a couple of months when I was 17, but he was part of a group of mates, so we just sort of saw each other a bit more separately iyswim. Then no-one. Then I met this welsh bloke who kept asking me out, became friends with him... then he slept with his ex, I got jealous, 3 kids, 11 years later - here we are. We never did any proper dates tbh. We went from friends to old married couple in a matter of days.

I have no idea what is meant to happen, how the process is meant to go.

He's just text me with his plans for the evening finished with a x. I am even analysing that! I have to stop analysing everything. It is one of the things that destroyed my marriage . But in a completely non-analysing way - random plans for evening followed by a x is a good sign right?

Agree about learning that I'm still attractive. And interesting.

Oh I am glad your mum can be settled at home :)

Enjoy your run.

It is a great sign!! He sends you kisses, He is interested! If he wasnt he would not next at all!!! Chin up you

If it makes you feel any better I feel I am am crap at dating too. I did have my share of boyfriends and long term partners before I was married for 10 yrs, but I now feel like a complete novice - and I'm 46 FFS!!!

Its all so bloody hard isn't it?! (or not as the case may be ) I think a big part of me is still waiting for the "but" with him (as in "He's a lovely guy but....").

Got the keys for the new house today btw (which is probably a big part of my mood - seems very final. It was meant to be us moving somewhere to raise our family properly - not me signing a lease and walking into an empty house alone). "Decorated throughout" means "decorated upstairs... badly. one thin coat in the dining room, and lounge untouched with dodgy patterned lower half and dado rail". It needs scrubbing too - dead flies over light fittings, floors generally needing attacking etc :( My mum decided that there is too much stress this week without me decorating the lounge too, so she has paid for "Antonio" (who sounds lovely on the phone ) to come and paint for the day on Friday as a housewarming gift :o