Living the dream - really????

[bebespain]

Apologies in advance if this comes across as a self-indulgent moan (its been a long weekend at home alone with the 2 ds)

I´ve just been peeling vegetables looking out of the kitchen window at the bleak scene, remains of snow/slush on the ground, grey skies, bare trees etc and I remember what somebody told me a while ago when I was moaning discussing my life here that I was "living the dream"

Can somebody remind me of what "the dream" is?? I am in Spain btw some 40kms out of Madrid

It is a serious question, honestly but I really am struggling to find the answer.

Is anybody else living overseas told that you are "living the dream" or does it just depend on the country you are living in? I mean is the British idea of Spain still that of being by the sea/beach sitting drinking sangria all day, munching fish and chips etc

(In Italy for the past 15 yrs and the only "dream" left is the certainty that I am not going to spend the rest of my life in this fecking dump)

I find it tends to be the people back in the UK who like their 2 weeks self-catering on the Costa del Tat or their little weekend jaunt to Florence who come out with the dream stuff yes "I love Italian food". Yeah, but pasta every day is well boring.....

The biggest culprit for me is my cousin who is married to a bloke (born and bred in the UK) whose parents were Italian. They went to the UK before he was born, he doesn't speak Italian, they come over to the old country once a year for a fortnight in their timeshare and tell me about living here

Grass greener, walk a mile in my shoes etc....

Actually, I'd like all these people just to spend a morning in my local post office or bank. That'd soon change the dream into the apocalyptic nightmare it really is

Ah Bucharest your post made me laugh out loud and its certainly the biggest laugh I�´ve had all weekend, mainly as most of it rings true with me!

"Aye we go to Tenerife every year, we love Spain , Pie - ella, asta-loo-aygo"

I can relate to your bit about the bank and post office. It reminds me that I wasted over half an hour of my life last week when I wanted to send a letter by certified and express mail what a sodding palaver that was, my blood reached boiling point when the assistant decided to serve every other bugger collecting parcels while she faffed around checking the rates or whatever she was doing, or maybe that was just easier - ahh - just one of many deep, deep breaths

I live in a village of the damned in the Madrid sierra, what about you?

Ah Salamanca, very very nice and probably a much more civilised place to live although I doubt customer service amongst other things would be any better cos it just doesnt exist

Haha! We lived in Tuscany for 3 years, running a restaurant. DH is a chef and I was front of house. 2 young children.

It was blimmin' hard work. Yeah, lovely scenery and sunshine but sunshine day after day after day where you have to leave to shop at 7am cos it is soooo hot was not fun!

You still have to

cook
clean
wash
iron
sweep floors
shop
clean up after children

When people say you are living the dream it is a pile of poo. They mean that they enjoy drinking next to a pool which I do too. Just couldnt afford to. Am so happy to be back in the UK.

Would never move abroad again and do not get me started on the beuracracy!!

We moved to France, me and two DC's, DH working in the UK and commuting to us every weekend. As a friend said to me "same shit, different country".

I think you live the dream if you're retired and have no money worries. The rest of us it's just the same but sometimes maybe the weather is a bit better.

I'm still in France by the way as it's no better or worse than the UK - DC's probably have a bit more freedom and are fully bi-lingual but that's about it.

We're in Dubai. If I ever hint that not every aspect of my life is as thrilling as my family back in UK seem to think it is, I am met with hoots of derision and "oh yes, the constant sunshine and endless beaches must be sooooo hard".

People think it must be terribly glamerous and that we must live in a palacial villa with a swimming pool and drive a solid gold car.

We don't. We just bog along, same as everyone. Good days and bad days.

Living the dream is all in your head and no house or place can give you it!if you are truly happy and content a shack in the rain is a dream!

Buch LOL re the post office and bank . I honestly want to scream when people say how lucky I am ....I wish I was in the Uk ( weather n all ) but it won't happen unless I get a superb job and then give up bringing up my dc whilst dh looks after them .So just have to try and make the most of it and just not shoot Italians who don't know how to queue.....

Living abroad sounds exotic. I agree with walkthedinosaur - same shit, different country.

I had this vision that we would be closer to everything, and would be nipping off to the Ardennes/Amsterdam/Paris for the weekend, or going for nice cycle rides in the countryside, or lunches out in pretty villages.

In reality, I shop, cook, clean, drink too much wine and sleep a lot (when i get the chance). And everything is so expensive so we don't have the spare cash for jaunts.

And I have still have not mastered an efficient communication method with the hairdresser, meaning I always get the cut HE wants me to have

I get this re. Australia as well.

"ooh, all that lovely sunshine and the great outdoor lifestyle"

Yes well. That "lovely sunshine" takes the skin off you in no time flat if you're not careful and you have proper Anglosaxon pale freckly skin like wot I have - so DS and I (and DH if it's the weekend) mostly stay indoors with the air con on if it's hot. Can't use our pool between the hours of 10:30 and 2 because it's too hot/burny. Can't go to the beach (ditto). And then there are the mozzies - worst ever this year because of the amount of rain we've had - it's so muggy, they love it! Can't set foot outside for more than 2 mins before some of the bastards find me.

So - outdoor lifestyle? I was doing better back in Blighty! At least I could take DS for walks there without being mugged by flies, passing out from the humidity and heat or burning! Plus there was actually somewhere to walk to - where I live you pretty much have to drive to anywhere for a nice walk.

And it's not cheap here either - apart from fuel which is cheaper than the UK - food is exPENsive, so are clothes! And books! My God, you wouldn't believe the price.

Apart from that, its great here!

Porto - I don't think anyone could accuse us of 'living the dream' in Belgium!

We're going to Spain for a week over Easter and no doubt I'll come back desperate to 'live the dream' over there (assuming we have good weather).

We're in Germany so not exactly a country which people would associate with 'living the dream' but one thing I like about living here is that, generally, things work. There's a fair amount of bureaucracy but everyday stuff like going to the bank or post office is rarely problematic, certainly no more than in the UK anyway. Also, the health system is better, public transport is good and we can afford a much nicer house in a lovely part of the country with the money we made from selling our poxy Victorian terrace in a grotty part of London.

Are we living the dream? Hardly, there are still plenty of minor and not so minor frustrations (don't get me started on the school system here!) to deal with. Which is true for every country I've lived in.

You are right Belgo, of course!

I've lived abroad all my childhood and for chunks of my adulthood.My dh now works abroad and i spend a lot of time where he is with the children, but wild horses would not drag me away from the UK, living in a community of peopel who I know care about us in a way a bunch of drifting expats never will.

Fun for a few months at a time but as a life-no way!

i have to agree witht taipo - i'm also in germany and while its not got the beaches etc associated with other european countries, the quality of life we have here really make me feel i am living the dream - well our dream anyway!

thing is - dreams only last a few hours at most anyway.
I'm currently in Cyprus (at a UK RAF base, granted, so we have the little 'bubble' of Britishness here), and I really, really love it here.
But "living the dream"..? Nope! Still have to ferry my kids around to school, clubs etc, go to work, do the shopping, pay the bills, tidy the house etc.
Yes, we have the benefits of the sunshine, outdoors lifestyle, low crime rate, friendly locals and wonderful scenery.
Unfortunately, things are expensive here because of the Euro and as we are trying to live our "life" here, we still have a huge list of places we want to visit and things we want to see and do, but can't as other, more mundane things take precedence.
What frustrates me the most is when we have visitors here who expect us to drop everything here because they're on holiday. They forget we're not. Holiday for us is back to the UK, and that's normally an endless stream of visits to family and friends.
Don't get me wrong, I love this life here and will be sad when it's time to leave, but it ain't no dream. We take ourselves wherever we go, and life has a habit of being anything but dreamlike.

this thread has cheered me up no end! We have just made the big decision to move back to England, after 5 years in the South of France and I'm still struggling with the fact that we're giving up "the dream", even though I absolutely cannot wait to move back to sunny Manchester!!! What I've realised is that "the dream" is where your oldest and best friends are, and where your day to day life makes you happiest. We have lived a lovely life, with friends and family coming non-stop, and all being so envious of our life. But, when I go to stay with them in Manchester, I'm soooo envious of their warm houses in winter, being able to get taxis to the pub, nice little communities with people you can relate to, spending less than £200 a week on feeding a family of 3....But, I will miss the sun......

Well you have all confirmed my suspicions, this "living the dream" business is all a load of twaddle

Some of the posts have really made me laugh...Portofino your comment about the hairdresser was very funny and you have my utmost sympathies. It reminds me of a time I went for a haircut in Spain (as a student) that was the first and last time. Even when I gave her a picture as a guide I still came out with pudding bowl hair and the worse thing was she bloody argued with me when I took the picture and told her that my hair looked nothing like it, she insisted that it did I wouldnt mind but it was a pretty high end "salon" in the centre of Madrid and cost me a sodding fortune to boot. When I go back home one of the first things I always do is go for a decent hair cut

Its so true what everybody says about "same shit, different country"

I really like your post ilovedfatbrian, it sums it up for me and I have to say I am very, very especially as Manchester is my home town and I miss it like CRAZEE - good luck with the move

Oh well off to shovel some shit I mean snow!

"thing is - dreams only last a few hours at most anyway"

IvaNighSpare, such a good point and that shall be my retort next time

This thread is great.

I am in Greece and for the first time in years my (Greek) dh and I are considering moving to the Uk. We met out here and he has never lived there but things cannot get any worse here and I am so fed up of living in a country which has run itself into ruin.

My big worry is how on earth do you go about moving to the UK?? My dh would need a job (and me!) and we have 3 dc's.

Sigh, plus it's snowing and according to bbc weather it's warmer in the UK!

Moan over

Totally agree, this same shit different country. Mostly I don't have time to think about dreams and that because day to day life is quite hectic.

A scary thing I'm starting to realise is that France is home to our family now, the DDs were born here and have never been to the UK and DH is from north Africa and hasn't lived in the UK. I still think of the UK as home but realistically I don't think I'll live there again even though I don't really feel like I belong here yet [existential crisis looming lol]

One thing that bugs me is how UK friends don't understand that I seriously do miss my home town, even though it wasn't a "nice" place.

lol- how funny about the hairdresser...I went to the hairdresser in Salamanca in 1986, came out looking like Bonnie bloody Tyler and never went again until 2005.

No-one believes I have Post Traumatic Tresses Disorder.

Seriously, I do think there is a hoooooooge difference also between the "ex-pats" who go abroad with their UK wages/pensions and those who earn local money. I am teaching, and if I were receiving a UK teacher's salary then it might be more of a dreamlike life.

A fascinating thread.

I said on a thread a few weeks ago that me and DW had traveled a lot on business and discovered that large parts of The World are actually pretty vile. There are some nice bits but nowhere is perfect.

Know a couple (US friends) who lived in Dubai and the woman was forced into the life of a 'Jumeirah Jane' and they were desperate to leave. Now they live in Denver and loving it. A couple of relatives went to live in France, she as French but he could not get a job as he did not speak perfect French and felt so isolated that their marriage ultimately failed. Another couple went to Switzerland and found it so claustrophobic they came back to the UK. Many retired people are returning from Spain/France now the property crash has happened and their health is failing. Their dream has turned to a nightmare. Lots of people go to Australia and hate the heat, bugs and culture.

Although our occupations mean that me and DW could live literally anywhere on the planet we are realistic enough to realise that the UK has many positive aspects to it. It is the culture we know best. We plan to spend a year travelling round the World with our children next year but base ourselves in New Zealand during school terms. We chose NZ because it is the closest climate and culture to the UK. Even so, we know it is not the UK and we have no expectation that we will stay and have a specific plan to come back.

I think it is very hard to emigrate as an adult with children. It is easier without children but it even so it is true that you have to make a real life. That real life is not just a long holiday.

Ok- I'm going to be the outlier on this thread.

Living the dream might be an exaggeration but I LOVE Hong Kong and would much rather be here than the UK.

1. Everything works
2. It has a really dynamic feel to it- people generally believe that Asia is on the up and want to be part of it. 3)Crime is almost non-existent (3 gun related murders last year- pop 7 million)
3. Rents are very expensive but taxes are low so they basically cross cancel.
4. Vs other capital cities it has great access to public sports facilities and big tracts of green space (eg despite massive pop density, HK island itself has a 50km hiking trail)
5. People are very friendly and welcoming- easy to make friends.

betadad- why was your friend "forced to be a JJ" in Dubai? She would have had a work visa automatically as a "dependent" so she should have been able to work. If they weren't married then it's a problem, but they should have checked that before they moved tbh.

I'm with you ArticFox! I love living abroad. I live in spain, married to spanish dh. I do miss my family and friends and nothing feels like home like the UK. I am sure one day we will go back but more than anything for dh who is a total anglophile! I think we have a lovely life here especially compared to the london grind my sister and BIL experience.

The weather is great - yeah its hot in summer and you have to stay in during the middle of the day but COME ON - hitting the beach straight after work? Beer on the pub terrace with friends? Late hot nights? Winter is a bit bleugh but not as cold as the uk. Ok the houses could be a bit warmer but you win some you lose some

I don't know, I am very integrated as we have dhs family very close,yes friends are a problem as for the most part they are foreigners too and therefore come and go. but dh has lots of friends and you get on with it. Who's to say I'd have more friends if I moved back to the UK?!

The Bureaucracy is a nightmare and absolute sodding nightmare. And I moan as much as anyone about the ups and downs of life but in all honesty we have it great here and I totally know it.

Have been thinking about this all morning (well, in between getting teeny bits of work done lol) I don't think I'd move back to the UK even I could, because I'm here now and any problems that crop up would probably have happened in the UK too, such is life. It isn't a dream life as such but I don't believe that exists anyway.

All you can do is try to like it wherever you are