Pamela thread 6 - Bile Duct Cancer, Continued

[WilsonMilson]

Hi all

It’s Kerr here, I wanted to post a quick update as I’m conscious Pamela hasn’t been on for a few days and the thread seems to have reached its limit.

Pamela hasn’t been feeling so good over the last few days - on a positive note, her bloods seem to have stabilised and, all being well, she might be ok for chemo round 2 in the next couple of days. She had a blood transfusion yesterday which, we hope, will also boost her energy levels. On the downside, her jaundice has returned, the bilirubin levels are increasing significantly. The CT scan at the beginning of the week showed no new blockages and our Consultant thought that some early necrosis of the tumour after the last chemo might be contributing, but nobody really knows what’s causing it. Further discussion to take place tomorrow. Seeing the jaundice is one of the worst parts of this, it’s so clear and obvious when it’s happening yet there’s nothing we can do to alleviate it.

Just wanted to let you know the latest. Please, please keep praying for her - she’s my everything, my world, and every thought and prayer is deeply appreciated.

Kerr

Sending love to you Kerr, your lovely son and all of your family. I am so incredibly sorry that you have lost your beautiful Pamela and in such a cruel & sudden way. Everything she wrote here portrayed a loving, strong and kind woman. But of course we did not know her.

I will try and treasure my allocated time and live life to the fullest thinking of you all.

I'm so sorry for your loss Kerr. You, Jacob and Pamela's mum are in my thoughts. May her soul rest in peace and her memory be a blessing.

I'm so sorry to hear Pamela lost her brave fight, she really did put up a fight. Her kindness and love for her family are what shone through the most in everything she wrote here. I'm just sorry your time with her was cut so short. Take care of yourself and Jacob, love from another stranger xxx

Sorry for your loss, Kerr. Pamela was a real fighter. Please be kind to yourself.

I'm so very sorry xx

I followed Pamela's story from the outset. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know we're just a group of disembodied voices on the internet, but we got to feel like we knew Pamela just a little bit. Thinking of you and all that love her.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace Pamela

My sincerest condolences.

Pamela’s patience and kindness were clear in her posts, my thoughts are with the family while they come to terms with such a deep, painful loss.

I am so sorry that Pamela has passed away, my condolences to you and your families.

I am gobsmacked that anyone would write a fake post. That is disgusting beyond belief.

Sending all the love to you Kerr and your family. Although obviously I never knew Pamela, I feel such sadness that she has gone. That she brought together so many strangers from around the world in her last days must be a testament to the beautiful soul she was. The many varied thoughts and pictures of beauty showed that there is still hope and humanity in this world. We will miss the light and spirit we felt from Pamela, but I think we all feel lucky to have experienced a tiny piece of it these last weeks.

Rest in Peace beautiful lady ❤️

Kerr and Jacob, I am sending you my heartfelt love. I know there is nothing that can be said to help what you're going through and the momentous challenge of facing life without your darling wife and lovely mum. These things don't get easier, they just get different. I hope you have people around you to support you now and always and to remember Pamela as she was.

None of us knew Pamela in real life but at a guess I would say she was intelligent, warm, thoughtful, selfless, fun, joyful, kind, gentle and funny. Those are the things that shone through her writing (and she certainly was a talented writer).

Here is a poem for you Kerr and Pamela. I love this poem. It speaks of a love that transcends everything.

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us Pamela and Kerr. I am desperately sorry that it didn't end differently. I haven't read the other thread but please disregard whatever nastiness was contained there. It says far more about the person or people writing it than it ever could about Pamela.

I’m so sorry to hear this. Pamela was an incredible woman whose spirit and determination was an inspiration to us all… her story touched me and I will remember it.

RIP Pamela. So sorry Kerr, Jacob and family for her loss. She was an incredibly brave inspirational lady.

I'm also so sorry that someone took to mumsnet to do a thread 7 pretending to be you. X

I'm so very sorry to read your update. Pamela's beautiful, graceful personality shone through in every post she wrote and I think many of us will hold her in our hearts even though we never met her.

I will continue to pray for you and Jacob as you face this devastating loss x

I haven't commented before but I wanted to express my deepest condolences to you, your son, family and friends. I did read Pamela's threads and her determination and spirit echoed that of my own mother's journey with cancer. She too lost the good fight and the grief we felt after was just awful, but with the passage of time those feelings were taken over by awe and amazement at her courage and strength and that spirit has been my moral compass in life. I hope and pray that you all find similar comfort in time as it really was her parting gift to you all. For now I hope you can find comfort in each other at this truly awful time. May Pamela rest in peace

What useless troll did that?

Kerr, sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife pamela, I couldn't even imagine walking in your shoes.x

So sorry to read this, Kerr. My heart goes out to you and to Jacob.

She had such a strong spirit I think it touched all of us.❤

Absolutely heartbreaking to read your update this morning Kerr. May she rest in peace. You and Jacob and your family are in our hearts. We are all with you during this terrible time.

Pamela was a shining light - you could just tell from her posts and lovely photos.

And shame on the dispicable troll. Not worth the time of day.

So desperately sorry to hear this. Sending love and strength

I am so very sorry to read your update, Kerr. Pamela was an incredible woman and I’m sorry for everything you are going through. My thoughts are with you, Jacob and Pamela’s mother.

I’m so sorry to read your update and thank you Kerr for taking time when you and your family are grieving , to update us . We are just internet strangers on here yet all united in our support for Pamela .
She came across as a vibrant and kind women , passionate in her love for her family and even when she was so ill , her posts were always so eloquent.

Sending Much love to you and Jacob

So sorry for your loss 💐

I'm feeling devastated, for Pamela, for Kerr and Jacob and Pamela's wider family and circle of friends. So, so sad. I was hoping for a miracle.

Why was the other thread deleted?