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Original poster

Not a good day. leukaemia diagnosis.

975 replies

biscuitsandbandages · 14/04/2014 03:44

When I woke up this morning I was a mum of 3 with an 8 week old baby.

Now im a cancer patient on thr coronary care ward.

This cannot be happening to me.

OP posts:
abeautifulbutterfly · 03/05/2014 21:56

Biscuits couldn't not write. Have only scanned your thread but you are amazing. You have come so far up from so far down in so little time and you are so focused that i take my hat off to you.
I have a girl "baby R" too (though she is 2 so not really a baby but also my 3rd and last and much dithered about too :) so probably always my baby).
Glad the care is so good and also that you have been found by deserttrek and all the other wonderful supportive people here. Mumsnet rocks at times like this.
Also wanted to say how amazing your DH sounds.
Wishing you all strength, strength and more strength xxxx

ArtisanBaps · 03/05/2014 22:57

Your poor throat, Biscuits. How are you feeling now? I can imagine industrial steroids, sore throat, annoyance at mistakes made and lack of sleep is not a good recipe for positive mood. How are you feeling now? Have been thinking of you, even when not mumsnetting.

Original poster
biscuitsandbandages · 04/05/2014 00:18

Thank you. You are all so right. And yes this is where i come to shout when it is all too incomprehensible.

I sobbed and sobbed and DH and baby R worked their magic. Eventually I fell asleep with her next to me and that's where we have been the last hour until I felt healed enough to wake. I've sent them home, DH needs to sleep and r needs to be in her bed.

If I can achieve nothing else with this time I can give my daughter 2 hours a night of dedicated quality time without interruption, playing cuddling snoozing singing, feeding...... Whatever happens I am helping shape who she is and her future. I am shouting from the rooftops I WAS HERE AND I LOVED YOU and with a lot of luck, Gods love and the skills of the medical profession i will get through this for her and for her brothers and daddy.

Thank you again for being there xx

OP posts:
Kakaka · 04/05/2014 02:06

Biscuits, have you heard the saying 'How do you eat an elephant?'

One bite at a time.

Don't think about the long haul, think about the time you have till the next visit from DD, next break in chemo, next thing that makes you smile.

Will you get to go home in between rounds biscuit?

northender · 04/05/2014 07:52

Others are far more eloquent than me but I wanted to pip back and say how amazing you are in the face of something so tough. Keep going xx

Mama1980 · 04/05/2014 08:15

Morning biscuits, how are you doing today?
Glad you are feeling stronger again, blips are to be expected come on here rant, scream, swear, the great thing about mumsnet is that there is always someone awake and listening.
You can do this, you are already doing this, you are doing amazingly well.
X

Spinaroo · 04/05/2014 08:40

Morning Biscuits!

How are you feeling today? Although inevitably you are looking at the bigger picture, i agree with Kakaka- if you can do this. What's on the agenda today?

riskit4abiskit · 04/05/2014 10:22

Morning biscuits. Glad to hear you had good news about your spinal fluid and sympathy for your throat. Hope it is feeling better now. You are doing sooo well.

Fideline987654321 · 04/05/2014 10:25

Hope you slept well.

( I dreamt rather vividly about a biscuit attempting to eat an elephant, for which I blame kakaka Wink)

Original poster
biscuitsandbandages · 04/05/2014 11:11

Feeling bright and breezy this morning...... Focusing just on today.... But taking in the big picture that the is absolutely no reason why I can't be cured. No reason at all.

Back to my mantra...

My body is strong and can tolerate high doses of medication. I am not someone who generally experiences side effects easily. My immune system so far has been effective and I only need a few neutrophils to keep things at bay. My bone marrow is young and will make me new cells. I will find a match on the register. I choose to have these treatments because I want to get well. Lumbar punctures are just a door to get the medicine where it needs to go. Bone marrow biopsies are helpful and will tell me if its working. God will heal me and my friends and family will help me keep my family together until I'm home.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 04/05/2014 11:34

Have a good day biscuits! You're travelling in the right direction. x

saffronwblue · 04/05/2014 12:48

That is a wonderful mantra. Love to think of you holding your baby girl in your arms. You can pour 24 hours of love into 2.

Mumsfret · 04/05/2014 13:33

Love the mantra biscuits. Keep repeating!

StillProcrastinating · 04/05/2014 14:24

Great mantra. Think it, feel it, do it!!

(Sorry for being cheesy :-) )

Here's a link with some random distractions from the bbc....

www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-27261379

janey68 · 04/05/2014 17:21

Good on you biscuits, you wonderful woman. You are STRONG, your body grew and gave birth to a beautiful new life just weeks ago.

Hold onto that powerful thought. The medicines and the procedures are a necessary part of the journey, but the important thing is where you are heading. Enjoy the cuddles with your baby, your DH and your other children, rest up, keep talking to us. You've made me cry and laugh at various times with your posts and that says a lot about you that you write so powerfully and openly about this phase of your life

FarelyKnuts · 04/05/2014 19:12

Biscuits I am another lurker on your thread who had been reading and sending you so many good and positive thoughts on your journey.
Much care from another "stranger" who wishes you nothing but wellness.

Original poster
biscuitsandbandages · 05/05/2014 00:04

Hell you are right! I have superpowers! I can make PEOPLE :-) and I only rarely lose them and never for long :-) piddly leukaemic cells got nothing on me!

(Please let me be getting into remission, please let me be getting into remission, please God please, the waiting and not knowing is intolerable)

RAAAAA! I am strong!

OP posts:
kissmyheathenass · 05/05/2014 00:11

You are strong, you can do this.

I haven't read the entire thread (might do now as I am wide awake!) but I did read your mantra. Keep reading it and believe in it.

Spinaroo · 05/05/2014 00:55

Hi Biscuits!

Posting very late tonight-the mantra is great-it reminds anyone in an instant of how doable this is!

Have said many prayers for you and will say another tonight that your cancer is already in remission and that you just don't know it

See you tomorrow x

magimedi · 05/05/2014 09:45

Love your mantra & admire your strength.

Go, Biscuits, go!

ajandjjmum · 05/05/2014 09:53

Just off to buy you a cape that matches your superpowers! A superwoman cape should do it!

Hope today is good for you!

AWombWithoutARoof · 05/05/2014 09:55

Morning Biscuits. It's a rainy bank holiday here, do you have a window in your room? What's the weather doing where you are?

Any visitors planned for today?

YeGodsAndLittleFishes · 05/05/2014 10:22

You can do it Biscuits.

She is biscuits, hear her roar! Grin

Aboyandabunny · 05/05/2014 10:26

Hi Biscuits. You are inspirational in your positivity and strength.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 05/05/2014 10:48

Hi, just wanted to say still following and still supporting you in a tiny way. You go girl. Smile