Hi, name changed for this for obvious reasons.
DS has been at Uni for a year. Had a great time. Told me at Christmas he is, I think, pansexual, i.e. attracted to a person, could be boy, girl, whatever. This didn’t bother / surprise me. He now has a GF who is trans.
This summer a few things have been different and I had a suspicion he might be planning to say he is trans too and some other things have now occurred that have confirmed this suspicion & he is now using a female name at Uni.
We haven’t spoken about it so I want to get my thoughts and words straight. I am GC, he knows that, we have argued about it before.
Maybe we won’t speak about it, he will be a girl a Uni and stay the same at home & maybe this is for the best?
Ultimately I love and adore him and really don’t want there to be issues between us. I would struggle to accept calling him anything other than a man, because I just don’t ‘believe’ it. My biggest fear is medical intervention and doing anything that is permanent or might damage him. Secondary fears are the consequences to his family, career, relationships, plus, I guess, a belief that it is a fad, a trend, he is going along with the crowd, he doesn’t actually have a medical condition of gender disphoria. I am also acutely aware that the trans community is very welcoming and almost encourages estrangement from disapproving parents and I desperately do not want this to happen to us but fear if I fully expressed my views, I would be pushing him into the arms of this, well, it feels like a cult.
So, I think I am looking for advice on how to tackle these conversations.
Please help, I have read this back and know I sound fairly calm but actually, I am having palpitations and sleepiness nights over this!
thanks.