Allowing Trans son to go out in "girl mode"

[Nowayhozay]

I say Trans but to be honest I am still not sure that he is, he has always preferred all things typically girly and has always loved to dress in girls clothes.
We as a family have always given him the freedom to express himself, never tried to stop him and have over the years bought the occasional thing that he has asked for, along with hand me downs from his sister he has accumulated a small wardrobe.

He will be 15 in a couple of months and over the last year mainly due to lockdown he has been been spending long periods in "girl mode" 24/7
I have asked him if he ever wishes that he was a girl but he says no and that he is happy being a boy.
Maybe he is somehow in denial?

Anyhow I am really looking for advice or opinions on taking him out whilst dressed as a girl.
He has asked several times and I feel it is really important to him.
Other parents must have dealt with this at some point?

Once restrictions allow I am thinking of driving to a seaside town a few miles away for a walk along the Prom maybe sit in a coffee shop for a while just to see how it goes. See how he feels about it and if it is something he would actually want to do more of.

Am I doing the wrong thing?

@Nowayhozay

For those who took an interest, there has been a development.

My sister invited us all round for a coffee tomorrow weather dependant of course, she suggested that my DS could make this his first trip out.
If he is comfortable there is a park that we could walk to.

Although she is used to him cross dressing she has never actually seen him try to present as female in the way he has lately so her opinion will be valuable.

With the best will in the world, don't you think perhaps everyone being so involved and having 'opinions' on this is actually more of a hindrance than a help? Everyone seems rather over-invested.

Putting aside the 'girl mode' 'boy mode' controversy, I'm not sure many LGBT young people would feel comfortable with their parents being this involved in it all. Certainly, figuring out my sexuality at that kind of age was at times challenging enough to understand for myself - I don't know how I'd have felt if my parents were standing alongside me effectively wanting updates on where I saw myself and my identity.

It seems bizarre to me that it’s even a thing - boy mode, girl mode.

I agree that it's almost oppressive, the interest of mum and now aunt in all this! Not to mention a bunch of strangers on t'internet

It seems to come from a good place, but I do wonder about the level of management of this grand trip out. I wonder how his sister feels about all this attention for her brother too.

And I can't shake off questions about what's going on with the wearing girls knickers more. I'm not sure OP wants to know about the sexual aspect of cross dressing but with a teenager in the house she really needs to.

I give up.
I posted on a particular board thinking there might be someone who was going through or had been through similar.
I keep having to repeat the same things, argue over labels and words and worse having to defend my child.

None of this has anything to do with his sexuality, he is not discovering himself, dressing in his preferred style is nothing new.

I feel sorry for those of you who are shut out by your children to the point you are amazed that mine might actually enjoy a stroll on the prom with their family, aunts etc not involved in your childrens life, how sad.

I obviously came to the wrong place.

I wont engage any further.

I'm sorry to see you feel you can't engage with your own thread. I can see how frustrating it turned out for you.

At least there were a few nice comments of encouragement.

As I said before whatever path your son takes he will be so grateful for the opportunities you are giving him.

@Saltyslug

It seems bizarre to me that it’s even a thing - boy mode, girl mode.

Eddie Izzard who is a cross dresser has started using these terms. I used to just think they had "Eddie Izzard" mode end of, and fine, but now sometimes "Eddie" is a girl (nick name for someone called Edith?).

Child actively tells parent they are not trans, parent actively wonders if child is in denial. And we wonder how we reached the point in society we are today. Leave the poor kid alone, he can wear what he wants. Providing he’s not accessing female spaces he’s harming no one dressing the way he does and you’ll do more harm questioning whether he’s in denial than you would allowing him to be himself - which you seem to have done a grand job of so far.

But he’s not in “girl mode”. He’s just wearing female clothing.

Why does he need you to take him out? At 15 why isn't he at school and meeting friends , why hasn't he met 6 outside by now ?
Kids these days are totally cool with all this and don't need to label it at all ,