I would appreciate some advice for a 7yo who identifies as F2m.

[Ginburee]

My first ever thread despite having lurked for years.
My 7yo daughter (and yes we use pronouns ATM) has lived as a boy since she was 3/4. Wears nothing but clothes bought in the male section and plays with stereotypical boys toys.
We have been totally child led and supportive and now we are heading to junior school am on the edge- do I see the GP and get a referral or carry on as we are?
She desperately wants to be a boy but had never specifically said she is one but we had an almighty tantrum on holiday as she didn't want to wear the rash vest that went with her shorts and just wanted trunks.
I am really open to her seeing other people but have been having an email conversation with GP and they have no idea what to do with a trans child so will refer on.
I am heading into unknown territory, hubby is supportive to a point but thinks if we have a referral they will 'push more trans issues' and he feels we should carry on as we are.
My child easily passes for a boy and has an adaptable name that she has been using for the last few years.
I could really do with (a massive gin and a big hug) and some advice from people who have been there.

I refused to wear a dress from about 6 to maybe 14.

Even now in my 30s I love big hoodies and jeans but im a straight woman who happens to like things that someone else has classified as being for boys!

Let her find her own way to be a girl and then a woman, there is no right or wrong but she is a woman!

I am wondering what she is watching on tv or the internet to say some of this stuff.
I have worn androgynous clothes for years and even more so as a teenager wouldn't be seen in anything form fitting or feminine.
leave her be - pulling an angelina on her will do her no favours.
You may want to give her some biology lessons for starting puberty though otherwise the shock will be awful.
I think of how the samaritans started when I read these threads.
Good luck. It is tough being a parent in the 21st c.

www.4thwavenow.com is a good site if you need support.

From most of what I've read on MN, posters generally shut trans stuff down.

No. It is you genderists who shut down any debate whatsoever with death threats and misogynist insults everywhere else, and well do you know it. Very well do you know it. Do not lie so blatantly.

My then Six year old spent months identifying as a dog. Still a human.

Let her be seven. There is no right or wrong way to be a girl.

OP, and as this transideology is everywhere, choose your battles. Focus on protecting your child's body.
If your daughter develops breasts and wants to wear a binder, do tell her that binding harms the breast tissue and will lead to severe complications if she later wants her breasts "chopped off".
Refuse to give her puberty blockers.

There still is a risk that she will go and have her breasts chopped off at age 18, but you can buy some time.

Hopefully, in 10 years, the mainstream press will no longer ignore the stories of detransitioners, and the transgenderists won't be able to shut down reasonable debate of the risks any more, so she might not be in so much danger, then.

Dd is 17 now but wanted to be a boy age 7-8. She didn't say she was a boy though, but she wanted to be. She asked to be called a boys name and wear boys clothes out of school (not at school though).
It was a phase and she is a pretty girlie girl now and is actually mortified at me letting her have a boys haircut age 7/8 and tries to hide the photographs!

I don't agree that little children are unsure of their sex though, or that it's to do with what they can and can't do. There is of course a huge social construct aspect to this area, but it isn't the whole picture. I don't think.

My experience echoes many other PPs here. I used to try and force, by sheer willpower, for my body to turn male, from age 6 to about 11, maybe even 12. If I met strangers out of earshot of my parents I would tell them my name was a boy's name.

My parents bought me a football strip (not common at all for girls then), showed enormous belief and pride in me as 'me', and we got on with life.

My wish to turn physically into a boy evaporated slowly.

I grew into a confident young woman. Fiercely independent, feminist, I still don't have a taste for 'feminine ' and 'girly' , but very 'woman'.

I would say don't fight your Dd's choices and preferences (except to prevent sunburn) but just show love, pride and acceptance.

I wouldn't dream of starting any transition before the onset of puberty, it is puberty when it all falls into place. One way or the other. If you start before puberty you are being very prescriptive, and irrevocably so.

There was a documentary a few months ago. Tne number of trans young people who desperately regretted physical transition, even partially, was distressing and tragic.

Wow,,l
just wow.
I am not pushing my child into doing anything and have deliberately avoided mermaids as I really don't feel comfortable with what I have read.
As a mum I feel this is going beyond 'tomboy' and for the record she has NO internet access without one of us in the room and that is usually watching Ed bloody Sherman on the guitar.
She has a 5yo sister and loathes everything girly about her but happily wrestles with her 3yo brother or plays football.
I am certainly not telling my child they are born in the wrong body and was just asking for advice.
I just want a happy child.

Keep calm, thank you.

Pottering along, yes she wore a rash vest as was totally opposed to a swimming costume. She won't wear one, ever apparently.

Why do you think she identifies as f to m? Why don't you just think she doesn't like swimming costumes and likes to play wrestling. Why does changing her gender have to come into it?

Genuine question, what do you feel she is doing that is 'going beyond tomboy'? Nothing in your posts indicates it is anything other than this.

I think we are so conditioned into what's 'girly' or 'boyish' that our perception is skewed.

You say she happily wrestles and plays football. This should be in no way relevant to whether she is a girl - some children (boys and girls) wrestle and play football, honestly it doesn't mean anything other than she enjoys wrestling and playing football

Your post was titled 'I have a 7 yo FtM' and you posted in LGBT children - I think that gives the impression you're totally on board with the whole trans agenda (and it is agenda...)

You've had lots and lots of good advice here. I doubt it goes beyond the 1970s tomboys loads of us were (ironically we have Enid Blyton to thank for our acceptance as such). Unfortunately it seems nowadays people make more of it than it is and kids pick up on that.

And whatever you say about monitoring her internet access she's got the idea that breasts can be removed from somewhere... that isn't normal 7 yo knowledge.

I'm in a very similar situation OP, feel free to PM me for a chat, you won't generally find support here for trans issues

I hated dresses/dolls etc when I was young and felt naturally more male. I didn't feel female at all. I wore boys clothes and even now wear more boy ish clothes. When younger I was happier around boys and being up trees I was never a traditional girl much to my mum's despair. I relate better to men than women but don't feel I was born a girl and should have been a boy.

She is very young to make a fully informed choice. Love her and accept her. If she doesn't want to wear a swimsuit maybe a tankinki and shorts. I always felt more comfortable in boy ish clothes and even when I first had my kids I preferred boys clothes and preferred the more masculine look. I don't want to be a boy but feel my brain is wired in a more masculine way.

If you have serious concerns have you thought about her seeing a counsellor?

Maybe it is just a gut feeling but she is almost 8 and has been determined she wants to be a boy since she was tiny, she had a massive fit in holiday as daddy didn't agree with her not wearing a rash vest as didn't want her 'topless' even though she has a pretty good 6 pack.
Yes, obviously I have been thinking about it which is why I posted for advice.
She reads horrid Henry and watches horrible histories, she doesn't want boobs.
Kids talk, she certainly didn't get it from us.

My 10 yo DD also reads Horrid Henry and diary of a wimpy kids.
We have HH on catch up daily. She also does not want boobs as grown up have boobs and she does not want to be a grown up.
She does not want to be a boy. She just wants to be a child and like what she likes without it dictating her future.

I understand that you just want a happy child, don't we all... but I don't think it would be right to let her live as a boy, well not yet anyway.

I don't support the trans agenda as gender is a made up concept which varies in different cultures anyway.
Get a grip your child is so young. Do not go down a path that leads to surgery and possible regret.

I agree with ledbury

This never has been the place for helpful replies on this subject.

I was once accused of child abuse. CHILD ABUSE because I let my daughter choose to live her life the way she wishes to.

She's been treated no differently to her sisters. She's chosen her path for now. We have no agenda other than to love our child and help her in any way we can.

Her choices may change, we're aware of that and naturally, if she turns into the most feminine teenager further down the line then so be it. We'll support her whole heartedly with that too.

@Ginburee I'll step away now because these threads always end up with accusations and rants from people who have 'tomboy' girls who quite clearly know better......

DM me if you wish but I have no better advice than just keep doing what you're doing with making sure she knows she is safe and she is loved.

I was exactly like that as a child. A complete tomboy.

I am now a fully grown woman with boobies and a functioning vagina. Have had kids & identify as a female.

You're welcome.

MY god this thread gets worse, so she likes books that "society" has decided are for boys! She is rebelling against social norms but it doesnt mean she should have a penis!

Oh by the way, my sister wanted to be a witch at 7, she told her teachers she had changed her name and was very inisistant about it all!

Shes 33 now and doesnt even like Harry Potter!

Why couldn't she just wear shorts though? Would you let your DS wear just shorts?

LOADS of girls say they want to be a boy/are a boy for years and years but grow up to be happy women who don't wish to be men/think they are a man.

Reading horrid Henry and watching horrible histories is NOTHING to do with being a girl or boy. Your ideas do sound very stereotypical, not a criticism but I wonder if it's making things harder for her to accept what she likes without feeling that she has to 'be a boy' to enjoy these things.

When you say she's been determined to be a boy since she was tiny, do you mean she has always liked wrestling/football/boys clothes/short hair/'boys' toys? Because that's not being a boy.

Maybe some people are old and wiser and do know better than you keepcalm imagine that.
I think allowing children to get bits of themselves hacked off is child abuse and that is the reality of what's happening.
What about the private gp in Wales who is handing out hormones to kids under 16?
This all fine and dandy too?
Kids of 7 believe in santa and are not equipped to make life changing decisions.

Honestly, her parents sound a bit stuck on stereotypes
Why not let her go topless? Bizarre
Of course she can have a six pack of sorts, she is prepubescent, you are supposed to see little fat
And the books things, literally wtf? Every girl I know reads those
Utterly bizarre