Child issue

[Lifeislong1]

Hi, gone through a seperation from partner and we have toddler together. I moved out of his property and into mine due to relationship failing. This involved a 25 miles and I didn't tell him about it in advance and as a result he's not happy and .is trying to see child as often as possible and pushing for more access. I currently allow him to seems on every weekends for 8 and overnight once a month. He has pushed forward with mediation and prevented me registering child at nursery.stating PR and saying he could care for child meaning moving towards shared care 50/50.As a result we are heading to court and I wanted to know how the court is likely to look at this, I filed a specific issues order and he counted, I will struggle not having son with me and my solicitor told me to claim DV. Thanks

You “allow” him to spend time with your son?? Really??? Who put you in charge? You’ve deliberately moved a distance away and so making it more difficult. The court is likely to take a dim view of that. Court will make an order for your son to spend time with his father that is in the best interests of your son. They won’t be concerned with how horrible you find it when your son is away. He doesn’t belong to you.

This. Or even pay for a taxi.

Primary parent and he lives with me.

You are only the “primary parent” because you moved away from his father and refuse to let him see your (shared) child often.

if this goes to court, the facts are:
you moved away
you severely restrict your ex having access
you refused to engage in mediation to assist co parenting

none of this will be looked at as favourable to a judge

You are not listening. It does not matter that you are the current resident parent" (no such thing as a primary parent). You both have equal rights and responsibilities and you have no right to be allowing or refusing him contact.

He lives with you because you took unilateral action and have excluded the other parent. This does not give you any more rights.

No such thing as the primary parent. You may temporarily have your son more but that’s only because you moved away and, for some reason, are restricting how much time he spends with his dad.

I meant to say primary carer,

But you don’t let his dad care for him. It’s still irrelevant.

Your ex is going back to mediation because you are clearly - everyone on this thread can see it - attempting to stop contact or keep it as low as possible, unable to communicate like an adult with your ex because you're what, hurt? Most people can still put that to the side and communicate like an adult in life for their childs sake.

You see 0 from anyone's perspective but your own. Which given your input here I suspect is twisted and unrealistic.

Primary carer or whatever you wish to call it - it is still irrelevant. The ONLY circustance where it owuld be taken into consideration is if your son had not seen his dad for years. In that instance he would likely have to build up familiarity before he was able to have overnights.

The word “parent” wasn’t the issue. The fact that you’re preventing your son from having a relationship with his dad is the issue

OP why can’t his dad have him to stay every other weekend at least?

You are literally cutting your nose off to spite your face and you’re going to have to give him more access all because you aren’t being fair.

His dad has a job, drives, has a stable home, is willing to go to mediation and is trying to do what’s best for his child.
Whilst you don’t have a job, don’t drive, moved away from his parent and aren’t willing to do mediation.

Can you not see how bad that looks?
If you were a judge, who would you give more access to?

It sounds as though the dad should be the primary parent and you can work out a schedule for you to see your son.

If you communicate with your ex like you do on here i’m not surprised you need to go to court. Maybe a judge will actually get through to you.

Thanks for feedback, I think it will look good for me to be more accommodating.

It won't just look 'bad' if you go into court proceedings with the attitude you've shown on this thread, you'll lose much more control over your DC than you expect. You'd be far better to ask him to go back to mediation and try to make a reasonable arrangement between you than forcing his hand to go to court. Once you're in court it's totally outside of your control, and you'll probably lose half of every Christmas and birthday, half school holidays and potentially half of every week.

Why is it about looking good? It should only be about what’s best for your child.

So the court allows son to be with me.

For what reasons? Is he an awful person?

The court will not allow you to have all the control and most of the time with your DC. No matter how reasonable you pretend to be.

Why do you think you’re entitled to more time than your EX. His FATHER ? You need to be careful. He could easily go for 50/50 (as he should).

I can’t see any reason why the court won’t award 50/50.

You need to stop looking for non existent loopholes to bully ex into doing what you want, and come to terms with the situation.

50/50 feels barbaric,.surely this can't happen.

I hope your ex is given resident parent status with more than 50% because your attitude is baffling.

you don’t care about your child having a relationship with his father to spite your ex for breaking up with you!

Of course it can , it’s the starting point. Again, why do you think you are entitled to more time than his other parent? Your child is half yours and half his.