Child issue

[Lifeislong1]

Hi, gone through a seperation from partner and we have toddler together. I moved out of his property and into mine due to relationship failing. This involved a 25 miles and I didn't tell him about it in advance and as a result he's not happy and .is trying to see child as often as possible and pushing for more access. I currently allow him to seems on every weekends for 8 and overnight once a month. He has pushed forward with mediation and prevented me registering child at nursery.stating PR and saying he could care for child meaning moving towards shared care 50/50.As a result we are heading to court and I wanted to know how the court is likely to look at this, I filed a specific issues order and he counted, I will struggle not having son with me and my solicitor told me to claim DV. Thanks

Agreed , in fact I’d be concerned shell try and disappear.

Why do you keep insisting on this? Of course it can happen, it happens regularly, and if you're obstructive for no valid reason it's even more likely as the court will view you as posing a risk to DC's relationship with their father

Most research suggests this is best for the child. It is certainly the starting point for courts. There has to be a reason why it is a bad idea as far as the court is concerned.

Why do you think it is barbaric? Isn't it worse to prevent a child having an equal relationship with both parents?

Again, you are only thinking about yourself

It would be positive for your son to build an independent relationship with his dad. They do this by spending proper time together.

Why should you be the one to control how much time your son spends with their father?

You have come across as very selfish on this thread, you are putting your own feelings above your child.

I moved to prevent 50/50, I'm his mother.

lol that doesn’t make you special you know. Your kid is more important than you.

Let’s assume this is genuine, OP with this attitude you really run the risk of losing the child. It’s no guarantee he’s better off with you.

This is the very definition of parental alienation. You are wicked.

And your ex is his father. You both have equal rights & responsibilities.

Good luck in court when you tell the judge that

And he's his father. An equal parent in the eyes of the law. Unless there's an actual reason it would be bad for your son (not you) to have an equal relationship with his parent, you don't have a leg to stand on. Children aren't possessions, and we are so quick to judge "every other weekend" dad's for not bothering enough.

No, please do tell the judge that. I’m sure they will totally understand that as the primary parent you are not allowing sleepovers and that you want to prevent 50/50 custody.

Do tell the court also that you wish to control which of the dads family members your child spends time with.

The judge will say you're the one who moved so it's your job to make 50:50 work. If that means paying for a taxi for every changeover then you'll have to do that. They will not inconvenience his father because you made a bad decision.

As an active and interested parent he may well get 50:50.

Son adores grandparents, it's just time consuming. The moving, bad from a court perspective? It was only 25 miles.

Why do you think that would prevent 50/50 then? It won't

You really are awful

I’ve been through lengthy family court proceedings, and the biggest thing I’d say is that you may need to change the way you’re looking at this quite quickly.

Court isn’t really about what either parent “allows” the other parent to have, or how difficult you personally will find being apart from your child. The focus will be your child’s welfare, their relationship with both parents and what arrangements are workable and in their best interests.

A father asking to spend more time with his child, offering to provide childcare instead of nursery and raising his parental responsibility isn’t automatically unreasonable. Equally, 50/50 isn’t automatic either. The court will look at the individual circumstances rather than simply awarding equal time because somebody asks for it.

The part of your post that concerns me most is saying your solicitor told you to “claim DV”. If domestic abuse has genuinely happened then of course you should disclose it fully and accurately and it needs to be taken seriously. But please don’t make or exaggerate allegations because you think it will help you retain more time with your child. Family court proceedings can become incredibly damaging once allegations start flying around, and credibility matters enormously.

I went into my own proceedings much more emotionally than I would approach them now. Having been through the process, my advice would be to stop thinking in terms of “he’s pushing for access” and start thinking about what arrangement you can genuinely justify as being best for your child. Show that you support your child having a safe, meaningful relationship with both parents while raising any real welfare concerns calmly and with evidence.

Also be prepared for the court to question why you moved 25 miles without discussing the implications for your child’s relationship with their father. That doesn’t mean the court will punish you or order 50/50, but practically speaking it may be relevant.

Family court taught me very quickly that being child-focused, reasonable and evidence-led gets you much further than trying to “win” against the other parent.

Depending on road types that's somewhere between 30 and 60 min travel. You need to think in terms of what is best for your DS as many people have told you. 30 min might be doable to get him to school or 15 min if you can get a school mid way. 60 min is too far though. You need to think how your DS can have a proper relationship with his Dad.

We were arguing, I don't think I have back out of the court. Ive been ignoring ex's suggestions and ideas as well. Its difficult when he wants to be involved in decisions.

Of course he wants to be involved in decisions, he’s the child’s father!

Of course he must be involved in decisions surrounding your son. Where he goes to school for example. You do not seem to be taking on board all the posts that are telling you that your whole attitude is wrong. Why not?

You're going to find him a lot more involved in a lot more decisions than he would have been if you'd remained amicable. You've massively shot yourself in the foot and honestly I'm glad. You need a change of perspective.

He's always wanting to be involved.with decisions.

Hes your child's father! Why shouldn't he be involved ffs