Child issue

[Lifeislong1]

Hi, gone through a seperation from partner and we have toddler together. I moved out of his property and into mine due to relationship failing. This involved a 25 miles and I didn't tell him about it in advance and as a result he's not happy and .is trying to see child as often as possible and pushing for more access. I currently allow him to seems on every weekends for 8 and overnight once a month. He has pushed forward with mediation and prevented me registering child at nursery.stating PR and saying he could care for child meaning moving towards shared care 50/50.As a result we are heading to court and I wanted to know how the court is likely to look at this, I filed a specific issues order and he counted, I will struggle not having son with me and my solicitor told me to claim DV. Thanks

I think this will go to court, ex has asked why I pulled out of additional mediation about co parenting. Why would I lose residency and my Job?

You are unlikely to lose your house or job, but are likely to lose as much time with your son as you want.

I think he’s likely going to get 50/50 if he wants it. You can’t say no just because you don’t want to.

Given the approach you have displayed on here, the court may conclude that it is in your son's best interests for him to live with your ex. It is unlikely but it is not impossible.

I have been sons primary carer his entire life.

i think the question mark is because the op is asking what happened to the ex wife and child situation after her unreasonable behaviour. (probably because the op is still desperately trying to wangle a way out of this with her getting to call the shots).

i dont see that happening op. Because what you want is unreasonable.

what’s wrong with the grandparents and cousins? what have they done that you view them as being not good enough to be near your child?

Depending on what your job is, if you are in a Regulated Profession eg Teaching, Nursing etc were you not to comply with a Court Order if your ex were to make a complaint to the Regulator or your Employer than this could result in Disciplinary Action and/or action by your professional regulator.

That will not stop the courts ordering that he live with his father if they think that is in his best interests. It is, as I say, unlikely but it is not impossible.

And?

Your sons father wants to increase time and become an equal carer. You son has a right to develop this relationship with his father and even wider family members as long as they are not abusive towards him, which you have given no indication that they are.

It will be positive for him to gradually build up time he spends with his father without you there.

Your son is a person, not a toy you claim ownership on and don't want to share.

Certainly if you do not comply with a Court Order the likley outcome would be that your son's primary residence will change to his father.

This is neither here nor there. From what you’ve written, this is because you’ve not permitted anyone else to get near him.

Hey! As someone who split with their ex when daughter was less than a year old, I understand your worries and anxieties, however my one bit of advice is to try and work with your ex not against him (easier said than done). Was there a reason you moved so far away from him? Is there a reason you won’t let him see your child more? Sadly you need to relinquish control of routines etc etc. This will not be a reason your ex can’t see their child. The likelihood is, if you can accommodate more contact he might not push for 50:50 at court but at the moment (and I usually don’t side with the dad) if he’s not able to see his own child easily because of you, then he will be doing everything he can to make sure he is able to.

This is an awful post. Falsely accusing someone of DV and using your son as a weapon. OP Imagine your son grows up and has children with a partner who does the same thing you are doing and he is cut out of their life. You’d be quite happy with that?!

Why did you pull out of mediation? Sorry, but if this post is real you sound insanely controlling!

Yes but this is due to you not allowing his father to step up and care for him more.

Well your so called co-parenting you won’t be for much longer…your punishing your husband because he broke your heart so your using your child as a weapon! I really hope your ex husband gets full custody ,you need some sort of mental help

This was just mediation to discuss communication and co parenting.

Mediation is an important step.
You need to be open to better communication and it’s not about your feelings- it’s for your son!

A consistent routine for him is what matters

@Lifeislong1 mediation is mediation and you pulling out will look like you’re not trying to facilitate contact.

I will struggle not having son with me

You sound extremely selfish and not putting your son’s needs first.

You say you will struggle not having your son with you, so you must know how his dad must feel.

Why does he need to wait until he’s 5 to do sleepovers? That’s ridiculous.

Can you move closer?
If not, why not compromise and you be the main residence Mon-Fri and your ex have him on weekends.

I don’t know why you refused mediation - that is not going to look good in court and I don’t understand how you’re going to co-parent for the next 18 years when you’re not able to communicate properly.

Honestly if I was your ex I would be going for full custody because you are not looking out for your sons best interests and only doing what you want.

Why can’t he for now, have him stay over every other weekend and take him out after work for a couple hours Tuesdays and Thursdays?

I had my own house and this was easier for me. The mediation has been signed off but ex felt more would be helpful.

How could mediation be signed off if no conclusion was reached? It all sounds really odd situation to be honest.

Well it isn't about what is easiest for you, it is about what is best for your son. Movibng away is fine in itself but as you are the one who moved you have to be the one who facilitates the travel so your son can see his Dad.

I don't drive and he does.

It doesn’t matter the judge will expect you to get a train or bus to take your son to his dad