Child issue

[Lifeislong1]

Hi, gone through a seperation from partner and we have toddler together. I moved out of his property and into mine due to relationship failing. This involved a 25 miles and I didn't tell him about it in advance and as a result he's not happy and .is trying to see child as often as possible and pushing for more access. I currently allow him to seems on every weekends for 8 and overnight once a month. He has pushed forward with mediation and prevented me registering child at nursery.stating PR and saying he could care for child meaning moving towards shared care 50/50.As a result we are heading to court and I wanted to know how the court is likely to look at this, I filed a specific issues order and he counted, I will struggle not having son with me and my solicitor told me to claim DV. Thanks

Let me get this right.

You moved out.
You moved away.
You are dictating that your son can barely see his dad.
You expect his dad to do all the travelling.

Do you see the problem?

You need to stop focusing on reducing contact and start focusing on giving your son the best opportunity to spend equal and positive time with both you and your ex. Reducing contact should not be your goal and the fact it is indicates you are too immature and selfish to have a child in your care, and the family court will feel the same.

I've reduced contact after he suggested couple counselling and then further after mediation..I have reduced the.contqct further as I don't want son being taken to cousins and grandparent house.anymore

This thread is a bit laughable now

I see. If the judge has any sense, his Dad will get full custody and you'll get a few hours of supervised contact as you're clearly not fit to take care of him. Good luck.

You are ignoring pretty much all of the posters. Why?

No wonder you are asking mumsnet for legal advice if your solicitor told you to claim DV and there isn’t any.

Your child has two parents that want to be involved.

If you are not careful this could go in the opposite way of what you currently want.
You are stopping a father from looking after his child and willing to lie about it.

You seriously need help.

you don’t deserve to have your child, how can a parent think in this way?

Why not?

Sounds very possessive and stiffing for your dc, why can he not visit his relatives? Your child has rights and you have responsibilities to facilitate such relationships.

I very much doubt the solicitor told you that. What they probably said was that “unless there was DV” you can’t do xyz etc.

my ex sil was like that. Went through two solicitors, sacked the first after they wouldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear and at court the barrister let slip that she was a difficult client.

OP, you're being hugely self-centred here. Your child is not your possession to do as you like with. He is entitled to a relationship with each of his parents equally. It's not your call to decide when, where and how it's done. Your ex has my sympathy, because it seems he's doing everything possible to facilitate access to his child. And you continuously putting obstacles in his way will further his case. I hope he succeeds.

(Incidentally, I wish my ex had fought tooth and nail for access to our children when we divorced, rather than just turning up for a random McDonald's every now and then.) Children do get wise to their parents' behaviour as they get older and your son won't thank you for being so difficult.

I spent an amusing time with a CAFCASS Officer and my ex wife as he pointed out that her behaviour was getting her nowhere.

You need some advice from a reliable source about what you need to offer and where you should settle, otherwise the whole thing will be out of your hands - as happened to my EW

?

Why have you put a question mark

I think the post was quite self explanatory

If your ex has PR and refuses to return your child you may find out how it feels to have to fight to get to him

If you carry on blocking your child's father's perfectly reasonable requests for appropriate access, you may well discover that a court considers it parental alienation and grants him far more than 50:50. If you're lucky you might get alternate weekends.

Unless there are safeguarding issues, you don't get any say in who your son sees while he is with your ex. You cannot prevent your son being taken to his cousins and grandparents.

Reducing contact after he suggested counselling and again after mediation makes you look unreasonable, as do many of your posts on this thread. The courts will not be impressed. They will also not be impressed if you claim you were emotionally abused because you argued and he wanted to discuss decisions.

Many of your posts on this thread seem to be about finding ways of reducing the amount of contact your son has with the father he adores. That won't go down well in court. You need to accept that your son deserves more contact with his father and start working out how to make that happen. If you can't agree arrangements with your ex, you are likely to find that the courts will order far more contact than you are currently willing to give. In the worst case, you may find that they decide that your son should live with his father, leaving you as the parent with limited contact.

You are so in the wrong it’s insane! Your poor son. His dad needs to go for 50/50, at least!

I don’t think I’ve read a worse person on here than how you’re coming across. I hope your ex files for custody. You’re an awful mum thinking this way.

Sounds like out of the two of you, your ex is the only one who has your childs best interests at heart.

Your child deserves the opportunity to develop positive relationships and proper time with both parents, not just what you decide is best for you.

Maybe he would be the one best to have the majority of time with your child, as he is putting them first...you are risking being in the territory of parental alienation if your mindset carries on, which is abusive and damaging to your child.

Your posts are all about what you want...its not about you. It's about your child.

You admit there is no domestic violence and you put emotional abuse because he would want to discuss issues? You are trying to use a system that is there to protect victims to manipulate a situation to go in your favour. Disgusting behaviour

Have reported the post as don’t feel this is real.

This is surely a reverse

Are you for real? This must be trolling right?

Most people understand that refusing mediation goes against you. As will attempting to stop contact, reduce contact, parental alienation etc. All of which you appear to be trying to do.

He is an equal parent. You keep going the way you are and you may end up with 0 custody.