Child issue

[Lifeislong1]

Hi, gone through a seperation from partner and we have toddler together. I moved out of his property and into mine due to relationship failing. This involved a 25 miles and I didn't tell him about it in advance and as a result he's not happy and .is trying to see child as often as possible and pushing for more access. I currently allow him to seems on every weekends for 8 and overnight once a month. He has pushed forward with mediation and prevented me registering child at nursery.stating PR and saying he could care for child meaning moving towards shared care 50/50.As a result we are heading to court and I wanted to know how the court is likely to look at this, I filed a specific issues order and he counted, I will struggle not having son with me and my solicitor told me to claim DV. Thanks

Your poor kids. You don’t get to do this to them or to their relationship with their father.

I think people can just stop giving op sensible advices, if she carries on like this that little child might get a bigger chance to have a more reasonable parent as primary carer instead.

Is there not really long wait times for family court though? It's worrying to think what she'll do between now and then.

Yes, but OP has talked about Cafcass several times. If they have produced a Section 7 report, the next hearing should be within a few weeks.

You are getting very circular in your arguments which could equally apply to the other interested parent. You will have to come up with something less self absorbed in court.

?

What do you not understand about that post?

Big words.

What she is trying to say OP is that you are only seeing things from your point of view. You are not thinking about your child or the father. Their points of view matter too.

She means you’re being selfish putting your own wants and needs ahead of your son and his father

Circular in your arguenmts means you are saying the same thing over and over again without listening to what other are saying.

“He needs me”
“I’d miss him”
“I want to make decisions about my child”

All the things you've said apply to your ex too. He could easily say exactly the same, so your arguments aren't any different.

Basically, legally speaking, there is nothing stopping a court giving your ex far more access. And because you've moved to create a barrier and are claiming (in your words) “unsubstantiated” emotional abuse, a judge is likely to view your ex as the more reasonable and level-headed person to spend time with.

He does need me and ex makes decisions difficult.

You need to learn to give and take, you're sharing the parenting with this guy. Decisions need to be made together, it's not just about what benefits you.

What you mean is not that your ex makes decisions difficult, but that he doesn’t agree with you on what those decisions should be. Your arrogance and lack of care for your child are breathtaking.

You are learning nothing from this whole thread, are you? You simply cannot see anyone else’s point of view, and just believe that if you persist in your intransigence that the world will fall in line with your thinking.

Well, you are about to find out that the world doesn’t work like that.

Everyone else has your child’s best interests at heart and can see that he has a right to an equal relationship with his father. Your child is not an emotional (and, I suspect, financial) crutch for you. What you want is irrelevant.

You have to understand that by involving the court, you have invited independent people to make good decisions on behalf of your child. I am very glad you have, as it is patently clear that you are totally incapable of doing so yourself.

He doesn’t “make things difficult” he doesn’t just do exactly want you want him to do.

be honest, are you just annoyed that he left you?

All things dad can provide

I left him

Why?

How does he make decisions difficult?

Wanting to look at options and challenging decisions.

Your very first post says ‘we have a toddler together’ just think about that ‘together’ he’s not just your son, he’s your exs as well. Just because you don’t want him interfering and having an opinion doesn’t mean he’s not entitled to.

AKA "not agreeing with everything I say" or "wanting to have input".

Still not getting it, are you @Lifeislong1 He should be challenging decisions ands looking at options, he's the child's PARENT.

Looking at options for spending time with his son and challenging your decisions to restrict his time with his son is not him being difficult, it’s him trying to co parent.

you say you left him, but you said he “broke your heart” which is it?

That is being a parent. He has no obligation to do things your way.

You’ve said several times that your ex ‘makes decisions difficult’ without giving any information.

What exactly do you mean?

Do you mean that you aren’t able to do exactly what you want, when you want? Do you mean that he disagrees with some of your parenting decisions?

You are both your son’s parents. He has an equal right to have an input into parenting decisions.